Pure Imagination
by TheGirlWhoFlew21
Summary: Kurt Hummel is getting ready to marry Rachel Berry, a girl his dad picked out for him. Kurt's ready to spend the rest of his life living a lie, since he waited too long with telling his dad a huge secret about himself. But he did not expect to meet a certain Blaine Anderson along the way, and he certainly did not expect to fall flat on his face for him.
1. Chapter 1: Reflections & red lipstick

**A/N: Hi, I'm back with a new story! I hope you didn't miss me too much? Hehe. This one is something I've been working really hard on for the past few months and I hope you will like this. I won't be able to upload chapters as often on this one since this will be much longer than the previous story. So be patient, alright?**

* * *

Chapter 1: Reflections & red lipstick.

Kurt Hummel stood infront of his mirror, eyeing his reflection. His heart was beating in an unhealthy pace underneath his white button up and black blazer. His face looked paler than usual and his blue eyes reflected fear. His mouth was in a tight line and his defined jaw line was tense as he bit his teeth together to keep them from thrembling. The only thing that looked put together on him was his perfectly coiffed hair.

Truth to be told, he was nervous. He was so nervous he thought he might throw up. Because today was the day he was supposed to meet up with the girl he was forced to marry.

The girl his dad had picked out for him, the girl who he had described as _beautiful, intelligent _and _funny_. The girl he was supposed to fall in love and create a family with some day.

The thought made him sick.

Being intimate with a girl made him shiver and not in a good way. He had a secret, a secret that he had only told one person in this world: his mother. But she passed away and brought the secret with her in her grave. His dad never found out and he wasn't planning on letting him either.

"Are you ready?" His dad appeared in the doorway behind him.

"Y-Yeah." Kurt's voice cracked.

"Hey, don't be nervous. I told you she's wonderful, you're gonna love her." He said with a proud smile across his face.

"I guess I just… I want to make a good impression on her, you know, so she likes m-me back." He lied and tried a smile but failed.

"She'll love you." His dad said with no hesitation. "You're my son. You're handsome, wonderful and kind."

Kurt smiled a little. "Thanks dad."

"It's just the truth. Be down in a few minutes, she will be here soon."

"Yeah, okay." Kurt sighed as his dad walked out.

He gave himself one last glance in the mirror before following his dad down the stairs. Even though he only got down a few seconds later, he got greeted by a girl. She had brown, beautiful hair, chocolate orbs and she was pretty short. She was thin and she wore a mini dress and high heels. She really was beautiful.

"Oh, Kurt, meet Rachel Berry." His dad said and made a gesture for them to turn towards eachother.

Kurt swallowed down the lump in his throat and put on his best fake smile.

"Hello, Rachel Berry, I'm Kurt Hummel."

"Nice to meet you, Kurt." She said and flashed him a smile.

"Likewise." They fell into an rather awkward silence since none of them knew what to say. What _do_ you say to a person that you've never met before, but you're about to marry?

"Well, why don't you two go out to dinner. I'm gonna go meet with 's family. See you later, Kurt." Kurt's dad said and then turned to Rachel.

"It was lovely meeting you again." He said, Rachel smiled in return and then he left.

"So, what should we eat?" She asked after another few minutes of awkward silence, turning to face him.

"Uh, how about pizza?" Kurt mumbled under his breath.

"Pizza? You don't look like a guy who would like pizza."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked in confusion.

"Well," she said and made a gesture at his body. "You are really thin and you have great skin. Pizza doesn't really give you that."

"Well, I-"

"You're one of those who's obsessed with their skin, aren't you?"

"What? No, I'm not." He said and crossed his arms over his chest in defense.

"So you're telling me you don't have any crazy skin care routines?" She asked in disbelief.

"Well I… why does it matter anyway?" He groaned.

"I knew it! But it's alright, so do I. See, we're already soulmates!" She giggled excitely and smiled way too big.

"Yay," He mumbled flatly.

"So, how about a salad?" She offered.

"Sounds great." He sighed and linked their arms together. Because that's what couples do, right? Though Kurt wouldn't consider them a couple, not yet.

They walked down the street together until they reached Breadstix, the perfect first date restaurant that most teenagers in Lima, Ohio went to. Most of them free to date whoever they wanted. But Kurt was from a royal family, which meant he couldn't. It's not like Kurt is gonna be a prince or king someday, it's far back in the family but they need to keep living by the rules that once were created.

Kurt opened the door for Rachel. She smiled in return and then found them a table in the middle of the place. Kurt dragged the chair out for her and then scooted it back in before taking his own seat, like the gentleman he is.

Since they already knew their orders - _salad_ - they called the waitress over immediately, once she had taken their orders she disappeared to tell the chefs. Kurt sighed and took in the room, it was pretty dark but it was nice. The wooden floor, chairs and tables made it feel like he lived in the 1800s. He inhaled the sweet scent of food and closed his eyes, good god how he wanted a pizza right now.

"Are you okay?" He opened his eyes to see a concerned Rachel frown at him from where she was sitting across from him.

"What? Yeah, totally." He said with a strained smile.

"Great. So, I bet you want to know all about me now, right?" She said with a too wide smile.

"If I want to- yeah, of course I do." He interrupted himself and gave her another strained smile. "Tell me all about you."

"Well," She cleared her throat and leaned forward. "I'm a very talented singer. I used to be the star of the showchoir at my old school."

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah, I have won more competitions than I can count." She said with a proud smile.

The conversation continued about her. She literally told him everything about herself, even the little things no one cares about and she wasn't shy with speaking good about herself. She continued all through their dinner and Kurt tried to keep up and say small Ah's, Oh's and Really's at appropriate moments.

When they finished eating Kurt's ears were bleeding and all he wanted to do was go home and clear his head. He was sure Rachel's voice were gonna be stuck like a bad song.

"When we have our next date maybe I can get to know some things about you?" She offered when they stood by his house again.

"Yeah, absolutely." He said, trying not to show that the idea of another date with her made him want to vomit.

"I just have one more question for you." She said and bit her lip.

"And that is?"

"Do you think it's okay to kiss on the first date?"

"Uh, I guess it depends. If you're with someone you really like and it feels right then- mmpphhfff!"

He got interrupted by her grabbing his face with both her hands and crashing their lips together. She tasted like lipstick and she smelled incredibly sweet, like candy. She moved slowly against his lips and he felt her tongue lick his bottom lip, asking for entrence. When he didn't open his mouth she pulled away and looked at him with dark eyes.

"Woah." She said breathlessly and then smiled a little.

"Yeah…" Kurt mumbled, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

"See you next time, Kurt." She said with a smile and then she turned on her heel and walked away.

Kurt remained there, unable to move. He did not expect that to happen.

After a while he shaked his head in pure confusion and then walked inside, he ran up the stairs to his room, not willing to give his dad any details. He looked himself in the mirror, his face was covered in her lipstick. He tried desperately to wipe it off with his sleeve, but it was stuck like glue.

He felt tears well up in his eyes as he threw himself on his bed. This went worse than he thought it would, he really didn't like Rachel. She was anything but his type and the kiss was awful, he didn't feel anything. No sparks. Nothing.

This was the woman he was gonna spend the rest of his life with, he had no choice, no other options. He felt like throwing up for what felt like the 1000th time tonight.

And he could never tell his dad about this, telling him that Rachel was anything but perfect. He couldn't do that to him, his dad was so sure and so proud of himself.

And worse, he could never let anyone know about his secret. The secret that he kept pushing far back in his mind, but something that was always there.

A tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek. His body started thrembling as he sobbed. Why? Why couldn't he just be normal. Just like Finn, his older step brother, or just like Sam, Artie or even Puck. His old friends from school, they weren't like him, they didn't feel what he felt and another thing, they were free to date whoever they wanted.

He couldn't tell Rachel either, never. He could never let her know that he didn't like her, that he could never have feelings for her. He had to fake loving her, fake laughing everyday and fake happiness. He had to fake his entire life. Starting today, starting _right now_.

* * *

"You never told me how the date went yesterday." His dad mentioned the next morning. Kurt looked up from his cereal and frowned.

"It was alright." He mumbled.

"Alright? Well, do you like her?" His dad asked and swallowed down the last piece of his sandwich.

"Yeah, I do." Kurt lied after a long pause. "She seems like a really lovely girl and we've got lots of things in common. She likes to sing, like I do."

"Oh, that sounds interesting. Maybe the two of you could do a duet together sometime? To see how well your voices go together."

"Yeah, sure. Why not."

"I'm happy you like her, bud. Cause I set you up for another date. The wedding is supposed to happen in three months so we want you two to be as close and comfortable with eachother as possible."

Kurt felt like screaming. Three months?!

"A-Already? So soon?" He asked, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Yeah, you're twenty-two, Kurt."

"I know how old I am, dad." He snapped.

"Woah, what's with the attitude?"

"Nothing. I just… I'm trying to get used to the idea of marriage, that's all."

"Look son, I know it's difficult now." His dad said and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze as he stood up to leave his plate. "But you'll get used to it soon. How about you go down to the flower shop and buy her some flowers. You're going on a nice picnic later, Rachel suggested it."

"Sounds great."

* * *

As his dad had asked him Kurt got ready and went down to the flower shop. He had never been there before, maybe because he hadn't ever had anyone to buy flowers to. It was always his dad who bought the flowers for his mom's grave.

The flower shop was cute, it was small and completely made out of glass. The windows were covered in flowers so you could barely see through them. The place was in a corner, next to a coffee shop called _The Lima Bean_.

Kurt opened the door and walked inside, a strong smell hit him. It was so sweet yet so fresh, it made him dizzy. It was flowers in every shape and color everywhere. The shop was currently empty besides a young man who stood behind the desk, he was looking down at a magazine, obviously every interested in what he was reading. The man had way too much gel in his dark, curly hair, but somehow it suited him. His body seemed lean and you could see his toned chest through the thin t-shirt he was wearing.

Once he heard the door close behind Kurt the man looked up. He was Kurt's age, he had a strong jaw line and full, pink lips. His eyebrows reminded Kurt of triangels and his eyes were hazel, almost shining golden, even from afar. And oh god, he was handsome.

His face broke into a smile as he nodded at Kurt who waved awkwardly.

"Can I help you with anything?" The man asked.

"What? Yeah! Yeah, I'm looking for some flowers…" Kurt said once he came back to reality.

The man laughed. "Yeah, obviously." He made a gesture around the flower filled shop. "Any special kind?"

"Um, not really. Just some pretty ones." Kurt felt lame, he had no idea what he was doing.

"Alright. Maybe I can help." The man said and walked around the desk, Kurt noticed how well those black jeans fitted his legs and… other things. He struggled to keep his eyes away from _there. _Once the man got closer to him Kurt noticed that he was a bit shorter than himself, at least a few inches.

"What are they for? Anyone special?" He winked and Kurt blushed.

"Yeah… they are for my girlfriend. I was um, I was planning on proposing today." The words tasted funny on his tongue.

"Oh, how romantic!" The man said and his eyes started sparkle. "Then you should definitely give her some red roses, red is the color of love."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Kurt said and couldn't help but to smile at the man's excitement.

"Alright, how many did you have in mind?" He asked and pointed at the red roses which were next to them. They were really beautiful and smelled absolutely wonderful, even from here.

"I don't know, but I want it to be a pretty big bouquet…" Kurt mumbled and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at the flowers.

"Alright." The man started picking out the best ones to create a rather huge bouquet. Kurt didn't really pay attention to which flowers he chose, he was too busy looking at the man's arms work, how his muscles flexed… It was addicting.

"… enough?" Kurt snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, the man looked at him with a smirk across his face, as if he knew exactly what he had been doing. Kurt swallowed.

"What?"

"I asked if you think this was enough?" The man repeated and tried to hide his grin.

Kurt stared at the bouquet, holy shit, it was big.

"Yeah, that looks… enough." Kurt said and blushed.

"Okay, wonderful." The man walked over to the desk to wrap the flowers. Kurt followed like a lost dog, trying to keep his eyes off the man's ass.

"So… have you been working here a long time?" Kurt asked.

"Nah, just a few months. My uncle owns this place but he's getting old and tired, so I cover for him most of the time." He said without looking up from what he was doing.

"Oh, okay."

"Why are you asking?"

"No reason." Kurt twisted awkwardly. The man held back another grin as he held up the nice bouquet of flowers in the air once it was wrapped.

"There." He said. Kurt accepted the flowers and fumbled with his wallet.

"Thank you, how much-"

"On the house." The man interrupted. Kurt looked up from his hands.

"What? But there are like millions of flowers here, I can't let you-"

"It's fine. You're gonna propose and I'm a hopeless romantic, so I want to give you the flowers for free."

Kurt blushed for some unknown reason and smiled. "Thank you..?"

"Blaine, my name's Blaine." The man said and returned the smile.

"Blaine." Oh, the name suited him perfectly. "Thank you, Blaine."

"No problems." Blaine winked again and Kurt blushed once more before he left the shop.

* * *

Once he got home he hung up his coat and walked into the livingroom. His dad looked up from the TV and his eyes widen at the huge bouquet Kurt held in his hand.

"Woah son, you're really crazy about her?" He stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"Yeah." Kurt felt much better after the conversation with Blaine, he felt light hearted and just… better. Maybe the picnic wasn't gonna be too bad.

"So, you're planning on proposing today, then?"

"Yes, yeah… something like that."

"Alright." His dad smiled. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo. You've grown up to such a handsome young man and you're gonna be a wonderful husband and a dad, when the day comes."

"Thanks, dad." Kurt smiled and have him a hug. "What time is the picnic?"

"Rachel said she wanted to have it around lunch, so I suppose in an hour." His dad looked down at his watch.

"Then I better go get a shower." Kurt mumbled and walked up the stairs.

TBC

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you thought about this first chapter! :D Review, review, review!**


	2. Chapter 2: Marry me

Chapter 2: Marry me for all the wrong reasons.

Rachel had given him directions through a text message which led him to a nice meadow a few minutes outside of Lima. When he got there he got met by a rather nice view: Rachel was sitting on a blanket in the middle of the meadow, surrounded by flowers. She was wearing a cute, blue dress and her hair was in a long braid. She was smiling, genuinely this time. She stood up once she saw him.

"Kurt!" She said and walked towards him. He couldn't help but to smile back at her, she had obviously really taken lots of time doing this for them.

"Hi, Rachel." He answered and embraced her. "I bought you some flowers…"

"Oh my gosh!" She said and accepted the huge bouquet. She inhaled the sweet scent. "They smell wonderful, thank you."

"My pleasure."

"Look, this is my way of saying that I'm sorry." She made a gesture at the blanket. "I understand that I made you really uncomfortable yesterday and it wasn't my intention at all. I just… when I want something too much I always mess it up." She smiled sadly and he could see tears building in her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry." Kurt said and wiped her tears with his thumb. "It's okay, I'm not gonna lie to you though. I was really uncomfortable but it's alright now."

"Okay, come on. Let's sit down." She smiled and took his hand. They sat down on the blanket together.

Kurt was surprised, this was not at all the girl he had met yesterday. This girl seemed sweet, kind and caring. He might actually like her.

Rachel opened the basket next to them. Inside it was two sodas and two plates. Then it was a bigger plate which was covered in plastic.

"What did you get us to eat?" Kurt asked curiously. She smiled and removed the plastic from the bigger plate and revealed what was inside.

"Pizza?" He asked with a smile.

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, you told me you liked that so… it's all I know about you so I thought it would be easier this way."

"Thank you." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. She blushed a light shade of pink.

"So, now tell me all about you." She said once they both had a piece of pizza in their hands.

"Everything? That can be a pretty long story."

"I don't care, we've got all day."

"Okay." He took a bite of the pizza, chewed it and swallowed it down before he began.

"My mom died when I was eight years old, so it's been me and my dad ever since. I used to go to a public high school, I made some friends there but I had to quit because I was being bullied pretty badly…"

"Oh my god, my mom said your dad mentioned something about your mom having cancer. That's horrible! I'm so sorry. And being bullied on top of that, I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you." She held one hand over her heart and the other she had placed over Kurt's.

Kurt shrugged.

"It's okay. I'm okay now." He removed his hand awkwardly and took a sip out of his soda.

"I also like to sing, like you do." He began.

They continued talking on and on about him, he was almost getting sick of hearing his own story but Rachel never seemed to get tired of it. It was quite cool that she was such a good listener. But maybe it wasn't so weird, since she was obviously so good at talking herself.

They sat there for hours and hours, they didn't even notice that it was getting late until Rachel started freezing and Kurt gave her his jacket. Another thing, he actually enjoyed talking to her, they had many common interests such as fashion, Broadway, big dreams, New York and stuff. Kurt felt that he could actually live with her, he might actually be able to live with her and not having to fake every laugh and every smile. But still, he didn't love her. He could never love her, not like that. And when the time comes, he's gonna need to do that. He's gonna have to raise their children with her and die with her, probably lying in the same grave.

That thought still made his throat go tight and tears sting his eyes, but it wouldn't happen yet and he needed to focus on the positive stuff. He needed to do it for his own sanity and for Rachel.

"It's getting really late, maybe we should go now." She said after a while.

Kurt snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her with wide eyes, he realized he hadn't proposed yet.

"What? No, wait!" He said when she started getting up. He stood up himself and thanked god that he had left the ring in the pocket of his pants instead of his jacket since she was wearing it.

"What?" She asked in surprise.

"I need to ask you something first." He said and felt his palms start to sweat.

"Okay..?" She said, slightly confused but waited patiently.

Kurt swallowed thickly and fumbled with the small box in his pocket. This was it. He inhaled and exhaled as he bent down on one knee, all the happiness he had felt earlier suddenly gone from his body. He picked up the box and opened it to reveal an rather beautiful ring with three huge diamonds on top.

Rachel gasped and clasped both hands over her mouth. "Kurt!" She whispered.

"Rachel Berry, I know that we have only met twice and we may not know everything about eachother yet, but I know that there is something special about you. I have met many girls in my days, but none of them has made me feel like you do. And I... I want to share my life with you." He made a pause to hold back the tears that threatened to fall for all the wrong reasons. "Will you marry me?"

Tears started rolling down her cheeks, she nodded furiously and reached out her left hand. "Yes, yes!" She squealed.

Kurt put the ring on her finger and let himself get pulled back up on his feet as she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug.

"Oh my god, yes!" She said again.

Kurt couldn't understand how she could seem love him so much after just two dates, but he didn't question it out loud since she obviously thought they shared the same feeling.

She pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes, he knew she was asking for permission to kiss him. He looked down at the ground and then closed the gap between them. She yelped in surprise but then let herself melt into the kiss.

He could feel her wet cheeks against his, her sweet tasting lips against his own and her light touch. But he didn't get that bubbly feeling in his stomach, his heart didn't beat faster and he didn't feel any excitement. Soon enough they pulled away and she opened her eyes slowly, they reflected nothing but love. It made Kurt feel sick, sick with himself. Because he couldn't return it.

"Now we can go home." He said, surprised at how even his voice sounded.

"Yeah, okay." She said with a smile. She took his hand and entwined their fingers as they walked back to the car.

* * *

Once he had dropped off Rachel he decided to drive by the flower shop before it closed, to thank Blaine for the flowers and let him know that Rachel said yes. Not that it mattered, but somehow it felt important to him.

An old lady walked out of the shop the same time as Kurt walked in, it was probably the last costumer for today. Kurt was happy to see Blaine stand behind the desk like earlier, this time counting the change.

"Hello again, Blaine." Kurt said when he had reached the desk.

Blaine looked up in surprise but then smiled when he recognized Kurt. "Hello there!" He said.

"I just wanted to come by and thank you for the flowers and everything." Kurt rushed out to say.

"Oh, no problems. Did you propose today?" Blaine asked curiously.

"Yeah, I did. She said yes." Kurt tried to smile, but it wasn't nearly as genuine as he hoped it would be.

"Why the long face? That's fantastic! Isn't it?" Damn, Blaine noticed everything. He was _that_ type of guy.

"Yes, it is. I'm really happy."

"I don't want to get involved with your feelings or anything, but it doesn't look like that." Blaine said in disbelief.

Kurt sighed and felt his throat go tight again. He can't start crying in here. Not infront of Blaine, a stranger, a random guy.

It was too late, tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. He started sobbing uncontrollably, he just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Fuck- I'm sorry! I swore I wouldn't cry I just… fuck…" Kurt trailed off as the crying took over.

Blaine didn't seem to know what to say, so without hesitation he walked around the desk and wrapped his arms around Kurt in a tight embrace. He held Kurt as he cried, rubbing soothing circles on his back and whispering a quiet _ssshh_ in his ear.

It was strange, but being held by this man felt good. Kurt felt himself immediately go calmer and he felt comfortable, like… _home._

"Don't apologize, you have nothing to apologize for." Blaine said once the crying had stopped. He pulled away but kept his hands on Kurt's arms. "Are you alright?" He asked, his hazel eyes filled with concern.

"Y-Yeah." Kurt's voice cracked as he wiped his tears with his sleeve.

"You don't look okay." Blaine said. "I know I'm just some random flower guy, I don't even know your name, but you can talk to me. I mean, I won't tell anyone. It's not like I know anyone in your family or something."

"M-My name is… K-Kurt." He stuttered out. He sniffled. He felt ridiculous.

"Okay, Kurt, what's wrong? You're clearly not okay."

"I…" Kurt hesitated, should he tell him? Should he share his deepest, darkest secret with this stranger. It was weird, but he could, right? It's not like he could tell anyone.

"I just… don't love her." Kurt sighed, it felt so good to let that out. Like twenty pounds lifted off of his shoulders.

Blaine's eyebrows shot right up to his hairline. "Then why did you propose to her?" He blinked in confusion and finally let go of Kurt's arms.

"Because I had to. It's complicated… my dad, he chose her for me. I can't choose for myself."

"Oh, you're coming for _that_ kind of family. I'm sorry, Kurt." He sighed.

"It's not like I don't like her, she's really sweet and nice. But I just don't love her."

"Don't you think you could, then? In time?" Blaine asked.

Kurt laughed harshly and shaked his head. "No, never."

"Why not?"

Kurt bit his lip and looked at the man infront of him. Could he tell him? Should he tell him? He wanted to, he wanted to so badly. The man's eyes reflected nothing but trust and pure curiosity, there was no reason that he shouldn't be able to trust him. Well, besides one, he was a complete stranger.

"I… it's complicated." Kurt chewed on the inside of his cheek. "She's not my type."

"Not your type? You have a type?" Blaine suddenly grinned slightly.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Nah, not me. I'm pretty easy going, actually." He said with a shrug.

"I'mgay!" Kurt rushed out way too fast.

"What?" Blaine asked, his eyes wide.

"I'm… gay." Kurt repeated a bit slower. He looked down at his feet, not able to meet Blaine's eyes. The fear of being judged too strong.

But Blaine wasn't judging him, he was just looking, a smile playing on his lips. "You're gay?"

"Yes." Kurt sighed.

"Me too." Blaine said casually.

Kurt finally met his gaze, his own eyes wide and his lips slightly parted in shock.

"You are?" Kurt couldn't have heard that right, could he? This handsome, clearly wonderful man infront of him was playing for his team?

"Yup." Blaine said and smiled genuinely at Kurt. The tension between them sort of… different. Kurt felt like laughing, jumping, crying, screaming, cheering. What the hell?

"Oh my god, that- that's… good." Kurt said and bit his lip to avoid grinning too wide.

"Is it?"

"Yeah, that means you won't judge me. Right?"

"Kurt, even if I was straight I wouldn't judge you. I understand that it's tough for you." He said with a sad smile.

Kurt had to blink away the fresh tears that appeared in his eyes, yeah, this man was wonderful.

"T-Thank you." Kurt choked out. "Just… thank you."

"No need to thank me."

* * *

Kurt wiped the last few tears and took a few deep breaths before he got out of the car. He checked his watch, it was past 9 pm. There is no way his dad would be asleep like he hoped.

He couldn't help but to wonder how a day that started so well could end so bad after just a proposal?

He opened the door and walked inside.

"I'm home." He said as he walked into the livingroom. His dad was seated in the couch, watching a football game.

"Hey, bud." His dad looked at him with hopeful eyes. "So, how'd it go?"

"Great. She said yes." Kurt said and sat down in the other armchair.

"Oh, son. I'm so happy for you."

_Of course you are, you don't know any better._

"Thanks, dad." Kurt looked down at his hands for a moment before continuing. "I'm really tired, I think I'm just gonna go to bed right away."

"Alright, goodnight bud."

"Goodnight dad."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3: A kiss to start off with

Chapter 3: A kiss to start off with.

It hurts. Kurt feels so alone that it _hurts_. His heart feels empty, he feels so alone even though he's not.

Actually he's around people mostly all the time. He's around Rachel, her family, his dad, he even met up with Mercedes (an old high school friend) the other day. He's almost never by himself. But it still feels like he is. That's probably the worst part.

And right now when he sits on Rachel's bed in her room, with her in his lap, kissing her fiercely, that's when he feels the worst. Her lips are soft against his, moving slowly, her tongue dancing against his, exploring his mouth.

_But damn it, it feels so wrong!_

It had been a month since he first met Rachel, a month that had passed by way too quickly.

They had already decided most for the wedding, which includes which church the wedding will be held at, Rachel's wedding dress, his suit and almost all the invitation cards had been written.

It all happened so fast, it was two months left. During those two months they were just gonna spend time together, get used to the feeling of what being married will be like.

The one thing Kurt is thankful for though, is the conversation they had the other night.

"_Kurt, I need to say something." Rachel said and broke away from the kiss and sat down next to him in the couch instead of on top of him._

"_What's wrong?" Kurt frowned._

"_You know I'm… I have this thing, this promise to myself that I made when I was fifteen. And I would like to try to keep that promise." She looked at him through her eyelashes and bit her lip._

"_Of course, what is it?"_

"_Well… I promised myself I wouldn't have sex until after I got married." She rushed out._

_Kurt's entire body relaxed and he couldn't help but to smile. "Rachel, if that's something that you want then of course."_

"_Seriously? You're not mad? You're fine with waiting?" She seemed genuinely shocked._

_Kurt giggled a little and rolled his eyes. "Why would I be mad? It's your body and I'm not gonna take advantage of it, not ever."_

"_You're the best soon-to-be husband I could ever wish for." She sighed with a smile._

"_So are you." Kurt gave her a strained smile, he hated that he lied to her._

That conversation had made him relax more around her, it felt good to know that they wouldn't get intimate until after the wedding. That would give him plenty of time to get used to the idea more.

But still, Rachel was so precious. She was so sweet, so fragile, so sensitive and so innocent it almost hurt to look at her sometimes. Which is why Kurt hated himself more and more everyday, because he couldn't be honest with her. She was always honest with him, but he just kept on lying.

"Don't you ever need air?" She panted and broke away from the kiss.

"Sorry, I was just lost in my thoughts." Kurt smiled sadly and ran a hand through her soft hair.

"Yeah? About what?"

"Us." He shrugged. "The wedding."

"What about it?" She asked with a smile.

"I guess I'm just nervous."

"Don't worry about it, Kurt. It's gonna be just fine. It's just you and me. It's just us"

"Yeah… just us."

* * *

"Dad?" Kurt asked later that night as he stood in the hallway, about to go back to that apartment he and Rachel were currently living in.

"Yes?" He asked and looked over at his son.

"When you met mom, did you love her? Like right away?"

His dad seemed to think for a moment before answering. "No, not right away."

"You didn't?"

"No. I mean I knew there was something about her, but it took me a while to actually fall in love." He paused for a minute. "But just like you we went on dates, eventually got married and life kind of just… happened. Then we had you and she got cancer." Another pause.

"I think I didn't realize just how much she meant to me until she was gone." He finished.

"Oh, okay."

"Why are you asking?"

Kurt shaked his head. "No reason. Just curious."

"If something is wrong, you'd tell me, right?" His dad asked seriously.

"Yes, of course. Goodnight dad."

"Goodnight son."

* * *

"So, who should do our flowers?" Rachel asked.

Kurt looked up from the TV to stare at his fiancée. She was smiling at him, resting on her elbow.

"Remember the flowers I gave you when I proposed?"

"Of course I do, they were so beautiful."

"Well," Kurt leaned forward with a smile similar to hers. "It was a guy at the flowershop downtown that made those, maybe he could make these too?"

"That's a wonderful idea." She said and kissed his nose. "We should go and ask him right away!"

She got up from the couch and dragged him with her. Kurt rolled his eyes but couldn't help but to smile at her.

They got out to the car and drove to the flowershop. Kurt just hoped that Blaine was working today, he wanted him to make the flowers. Just to be sure they would be just as good.

"Oh my godness, it smells amazing in here." Rachel said once they hade stepped inside. Her eyes were huge and her mouth hung open as she looked around at all the flowers. She was amazed.

"Kurt, how are we ever gonna make up our minds?"

"I have no idea." He giggled a little and then looked over at the front. Yes! Blaine was standing there. Kurt left Rachel and walked over.

"Hey, Blaine." He said. Blaine looked up and smiled in surprise when he saw Kurt.

"Hey, Kurt. Wow, long time since I saw you." He said and closed the magazine he had currently been reading.

"Yeah, I've been busy… with wedding planning and stuff." He smiled nervously and somehow felt that strange feeling appear inside him again. That feeling he always got when he looked into those hazel eyes, surrounded by thick eyelashes. And those muscles and how fucking hot he looked in that t-shirt right now.

_What? No, Kurt Hummel. Shut the fuck up._

"Ah, I see." Blaine said. He looked behind Kurt and nodded towards Rachel. "Is that the girl?"

"Yeah, that's Rachel." Kurt said and turned his head to look at her, then back at Blaine.

"She's really beautiful." Blaine stated.

"I know, isn't she?" Kurt felt stupid again. Blaine knew his secret, so why was he pretending?

"So, why are you here?" He eventually asked.

"Oh, we wanted to know if you wanted to make our wedding bouquet. We were both really impressed with the other one you made." Kurt explained.

"Oh, yes!" Rachel, who had appeared by Kurt's side, agreed. "They were so beautiful. Hi, I'm Rachel Berry by the way."

"I'm Blaine. And thank you."

"So, would you like to make our bouquet?" She asked.

"Absolutely. I'd love to." Blaine said with a charming smile. Damn those teeth were white. "What kind of flowers did you have in mind?"

"Oh god, I have no idea!" Rachel cried. "There are so many beautiful kinds in here, and they all smell fantastic!"

"I kinda like those." Kurt mentioned and pointed at a pink flower.

"Oh, yeah. The lilies, those are beautiful." Blaine said and nodded.

"I like them too." Rachel agreed.

"Didn't I read somewhere that every flower mean something? What does lilies mean?" Kurt asked and looked at Blaine again.

Blaine looked at him for a moment, his eyes were intense as he licked his lips slowly. Kurt felt his mouth go dry and wondered why Blaine kept his gaze like that.

"I dare you to love me." Blaine eventually said.

"What?!" Kurt asked, completely shocked. His eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"The flowers," Blaine said. "Lilies mean _I dare you to love me_."

"Oh!" Kurt said and blushed furiously, feeling stupid. His heart was beating in a rapid pace. Of course he was talking about the flowers. "Yes, of course… the flowers."

"That's a really pretty message." Rachel said. "We should have those in the bouquet."

"I agree, should we-" Kurt got interrupted by Rachel's phone ringing.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Kurt. I have to take this. I'll be back in a minute." She excused herself and walked out of the shop.

"O… kay." Kurt raised both eyebrows and watched her disappear. Then he turned his head back to Blaine, who was currently frowning.

"What's up with you?" Kurt asked.

"Why are you doing this?" Blaine asked simply.

"Doing what?"

"Marrying her."

"I thought I made it clear that I don't have a choice, Blaine."

"Yes, you do. You don't have to do this. The way I saw you last time, you were crying, you were afraid and you were miserable. Is that how you want your life to be? Kurt, I don't really know you but I do know that you owe that to yourself. Everyone does."

Kurt looked at Blaine's face expression. He was so _serious_. He also looked like he wasn't telling the whole truth, like there was something else he was dying to say. His eyes reflected so many feelings. Kurt had so many questions but he knew that this wasn't the time and place to ask them.

"I appreciate that, but I think that I am the one who should make that decision. Am I not?"

"Yeah, you are. But it's not right."

"Since when do you care anyway? You don't even know me, you don't know what my life is like! You're just a flower guy and I'm just the stranger with a secret."

If Kurt hadn't known any better, he probably would have believed himself when he thought that Blaine actually looked _hurt_ by his words.

"Fine, whatever." He mumbled under his breath.

"If there is anything you wanna tell me, then-"

"I'm sorry, it was my dads, it's their anniversary today and we're gonna go to dinner later." Kurt got cut off my Rachel who had walked in again.

"Wait, did you just say your _dads_?" Kurt asked with wide eyes.

All the color disappeared from Rachel's face and her eyes doubled its size.

"What? No! I said my _dad_, Kurt. Why?" Her voice was shaky, it was weird.

Kurt gave her a suspicious look before he shrugged. "I must have heard it wrong, then."

"Clearly." She sighed. "So, should we continue with the flowers?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Blaine said with a smile.

* * *

"Good _god_ we've been here for two hours and we haven't even decided half of the flowers yet." Kurt groaned and started massaging his temples. His head was _aching_ from all the colors and the strong smell.

"But they are all so pretty!"

"And you disagree on almost everything." Blaine mumbled under his breath.

Kurt shot him a cold glare and then turned to Rachel. "Sweetie, can't we just go with the twenty different kinds we chose?"

Rachel looked at him with a tired face expression, then looked over at the flowers. She shaked her head.

"No, this is our wedding day, Kurt. This is supposed to be perfect. And that bouquet is not perfect." She made a gesture. "The colors does not even match!"

"Of course they don't." Kurt sighed. Just then Rachel's phone beeped.

"Oh, it's my dad. I have to go, like right now! They're picking me up." She turned to Kurt and put her phone back in her bag. "Okay, you make the final decisions. But I really want the lillies, the white ones and those green cuties."

"Okay, have fun, honey."

"I will, and don't add any hideous blue into this! It will ruin it, Blaine, keep an eye on him!" Rachel warned. Blaine nodded and laughed.

"Okay, bye!" She kissed Kurt quickly and then ran out the door.

"Alright. You are the flower guy, you know what looks good. How about you just add what looks best and I can get the hell out of here." Kurt said.

"Wow, Kurt. You seem so excited about this wedding." Blaine said sarcastically. And he grinned the way that had been driving Kurt insane for the past two hours.

"I am, okay?! My head just hurts a lot and I can't even see a difference between colors anymore. Everything is floating together! And no matter what I choose she is gonna be pissed because she won't like it."

"Aw, yet another disagreement." Blaine said and faked feeling sorry for him.

Kurt glared at him again. "What the hell is your problem? You're being a dick!"

"What's the problem with that? I thought you liked dick."

Kurt was completely taken aback by that, he gaped. Then he snapped his mouth shut and furrowed his eyebrows. He hadn't expected Blaine to turn into such an asshole.

"You- you're unbelieveable. At first I thought you were cool but now you are just mean." Kurt stuttered out.

"No, I'm not. I'm just speaking the truth, the kind of truth you're too afraid to deal with."

"I told you I don't have a choice!"

"Do you really think your dad would force you to marry her if you told him you're a homosexual?"

"I don't know!" Kurt was feeling so frustrated at the moment. "And what's it to you? You're just a random dude, since when do you care?!"

"Oh, I don't. I just _care_ about the fact that you looked fucking miserable a month ago and now you just step in here with her, looking all happy. Maybe you're not as gay as you think you are."

"Are you serious right now? You think I lied to you? Why the hell would I do that?"

"I'm not saying you did, I'm just saying that you might have been a little confused."

"I'm 100% sure of who I am, you have no right to say that I don't." Kurt pointed his finger at Blaine, hot tears burning his eyes.

"Fine." Blaine eventually said. He walked around the desk so he stood right infront of Kurt. "Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove how gay you are." Blaine repeated.

"I don't have to prove anything to you!"

Blaine then did something Kurt never in his life thought would happen, he kissed him.

No, kissing was the wrong word. He _crashed_ their lips together and pushed his tongue inside Kurt's mouth which Kurt accepted. He moved his hands all over Kurt's back and arms and chest and oh god, Kurt was gone in the sensation.

Blaine smelled like a man, his lips were soft yet rough and his touch wasn't as gentle as Rachel's, he didn't taste sweet but he tasted oh god so good. His tongue was exploring Kurt's mouth as if he wanted to taste every inch of it.

A few minutes later he pulled away. Kurt didn't want him to pull away. He wanted to stay like that forever. He opened his eyes and oh my god he felt so dizzy. He looked at Blaine, who's lips were swollen and red and his eyes dark of lust.

Kurt's mouth felt so dry and he swallowed thickly.

"W-What the hell was that?" Kurt breathed out.

Blaine was just staring at him, like he couldn't believe what he had just done. He looked shocked.

"I don't… I'm sorry. I'll- I'll finish the bouquet. You can um… you can come and check it out tomorrow." Blaine looked down at his hands and walked around the desk.

"Okay… great." Kurt said and then turned to leave. He felt as if he was walking on clouds and he needed something to hold onto. So he turned around, bent over the desk and grabbed Blaine's t-shirt before crashing their lips together again.

He didn't wanna stop, he needed more, he needed… Blaine. He just needed to touch those muscles he's been watching for so long, kiss those lips he's been seeing. Everything smelled Blaine and flowers… but mostly Blaine. Blaine smelled like raspberries, but he guessed that came from his hairgel, he also smelled like coffee, he tasted like coffee. It tasted so good.

Eventually he felt Blaine's hands on his shoulders, pushing him back. Kurt made a tiny noise of protest, then he opened his eyes.

"Stop, Kurt…" Blaine panted and looked at him, not letting go of him.

"Why?" Kurt asked, hating how desperate he sounded.

"It's not right, we can't do this."

"But I don't wanna stop."

"You have a girlfriend."

"I don't love her."

"But she loves you."

Then it hit him, it hit him like… lightning. He had kissed someone else, he had, in a way, cheated on Rachel.

"You started this!" Kurt argued, he needed someone to blame. Someone who wasn't himself.

"I know, I'm sorry. It wasn't… it wasn't right." Blaine finally let go of his shoulders and looked down at his feet. He seemed ashamed of himself.

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I just don't know. I guess I thought you had switched teams."

"I haven't." Kurt stated.

Blaine laughed quietly. "No, clearly not."

"And I'm sorry." He continued after a while. "That I was a dick to you earlier, I had no right to say any of those things… but you have to admit, I was right. Not about you being confused, but the other things."

Kurt sighed. "Yes, fine, you were. We don't get along, we disagree on everything. But she… she's sweet and kind and oh so fragile. We have a few things in common as well but I guess I'm stubborn, and angry. And-"

"Don't blame yourself." Blaine finally met his gaze. "It might as well be her."

Kurt just nodded and they fell into an awkward silence. The silence lasted for several uncomfortable minutes.

"Promise you won't tell her about this, though." Kurt eventually said and stared with desperate eyes into Blaine's. "_Please._"

"I promise." Blaine said truthfully. "And I also promise to fix the bouquet so it looks somewhat decent."

"Thank you." Kurt said with a smile. "I should go."

"Yeah, okay." Blaine nodded.

Kurt turned around and walked towards the door, he opened it slightly but then paused and turned around.

"Maybe we could… do something tomorrow? Rachel will be gone all day, she has a wedding dress fitting."

Blaine looked surprised but happy with the offer. He smiled a little. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay, goodbye, Blaine."

"Goodbye, Kurt."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4: Our imagination

Chapter 4: Our imagination.

"I'm leaving now, see you later tonight." Rachel's quiet whisper near Kurt's ear woke him up. He rolled over to face her and opened his heavy eyelids slightly.

"Huh?" He mumbled, still sleepy.

"I'm leaving for my wedding dress fitting." She repeated.

"Oh, right. I'll see you tonight then."

"You will, bye sweetie." She kissed his cheek softly before she left.

Kurt waited until he heard the door close to let out a loud groan. He burried his face into his pillow, unable to breathe.

He had been awake most of the night, drowning in guilt. It's not like he slept with Blaine, but he had still made out with him. And it was wrong, it was cheating. And when Rachel had cuddled up close to him in their bed at night, kissing him and telling him that she loves him, he had to bite his lip hard to avoid sobbing.

He had made it through the night by promising himself that it wouldn't happen again. Kurt Hummel was not an unfaithful person, and today he was only gonna hang out with Blaine as friends. Nothing more, just friends.

He rolled over to his other side and checked the clock that was placed on the nightstand, it was only 8 am. He decided to sleep for another 30 minutes, then have a shower before driving down to the flowershop.

* * *

After the way too long shower he took an hour later, he changed into some nice clothes. He chose a pair of black, super tight jeans, which he wore with a printed sweater. It was getting warmer outside, so he would be able to go without a jacket.

Then he spent like twenty minutes fixing his hair before heading out to the car.

He didn't know why, but he was excited. He was really excited to spend time with Blaine, he had butterflies in his stomach (similar to the ones he had felt yesterday). And he found himself checking his hair in the mirror several times, to make sure that he looked alright.

Once he got there he parked his car in the usual spot, close to the door. Then he checked his hair one last time before walking into the shop. But to his surprise Blaine wasn't standing behind the desk today, it was a man in his early 50's.

His hair was gray but styled properly, he was wearing a long sleeved shirt from what Kurt could see. He was currently talking to a costumer and he had a very charming smile, he must have been very handsome in his younger days.

Kurt got worried, what if Blaine had decided to bail on him? What if he was sick? It was at least worth asking before imagining the worst. So he walked up to the desk and waited patiently for the man to finish with the woman.

"Alright, good day." The man said with a smile and then turned his attention to Kurt when the woman left. "Well hello there, can I help you?"

"Um, yes, I was looking for Blaine, is he here?" Kurt asked nervously.

"Oh, my nephew! Yes, he's here. Wait a second- BLAINE!" The man turned his head and yelled into a room behind him.

"I'm Andrew, by the way, Blaine's uncle." He reached out his hand. Kurt smiled and shaked it.

"I'm Kurt Hummel, Blaine's… costumer, um… or I guess friend."

"Yes, I'm here. What is- oh, Kurt, you're already here." Blaine's entire face lit up once he saw Kurt. It was sort of adorable, how his eyes started sparkling and his nose wrinkled. It made Kurt's heart beat faster and he couldn't help but to smile back, all the guilt suddenly gone from his body.

And oh _good god_ Blaine was handsome today. He was wearing red khakis, a gray sweater and his hair was gelled a little less so you could see a few curls dancing in his forehead. Kurt wanted to touch them so badly, wanted to run his hand through those curls and-

_No, Kurt Hummel is a faithful person._

"Hi, Blaine." Kurt blushed for some unknown reason. "So, are you ready to go?"

"I have no idea where, but yeah. I'm ready." Blaine grinned and then walked around the desk. "Bye, see you later." He waved at his uncle and then walked out with Kurt.

"We're going to Scandals." Kurt informed him as if he had planned it, he hadn't, it only just hit him.

"The gay bar?" Blaine asked and his eyes widened. "At lunchtime?"

"Damn, it's early for that, isn't it?" Kurt groaned.

Blaine giggled that beautiful giggle that Kurt wanted to record and save as his ringtone.

"How about we go get an early lunch? Then plan out the rest of the day." He offered.

"Sounds good." Kurt said with a smile.

They drove to a restaurant far away just to make sure no one would see them together. It wasn't too odd looking, it was just a small place with a neon sign and very few people inside.

Kurt parked the car and they got out. They didn't say anything, they just walked in, ordered and then sat down at a table. Kurt didn't know why neither one of them spoke, he wanted to, but he didn't know what to say.

"So, when is the wedding happening?" Kurt got caught off guard by Blaine's question. He raised both eyebrows and looked up from his food.

"Um… less than two months, why?"

"Just wondering."

"I really wish I didn't have to though." Kurt sighed and poked his fork around his food, suddenly not hungry anymore. "But Rachel's all excited so I have to pretend to be excited all the time and it's just really tiring."

Blaine just looked at him and nodded, shoving food into his mouth. Kurt felt bad, he didn't ask Blaine to hang out with him just so he could tell him about his problems with Rachel.

"I'm sorry, I keep complaining about my life to you all the time." Kurt rubbed his temples.

"It's okay, I get why though." He paused and grabbed Kurt's hand, looking at him seriously. "You look exhausted."

"I am." Kurt admitted, secretly loving the warmth from Blaine's hand on top of his own. "I'm so tired."

"Then maybe we should find some quiet place, for just the two of us. We could lie down there and just relax." Blaine smiled and let go of his hand.

"Like where?" Kurt needed to had a playful smile on his lips. "You'll see, but you're gonna have to let me drive."

* * *

"Alright, close your eyes, don't peek!" Blaine giggled from behind, covering Kurt's eyes with his hands.

"How am I supposed to peek, you're covering my eyes!" Kurt said and tried to walk forward. They had been driving for a while, further away from town. Once they had gotten out of the car they had been surrounded by a huge forest, it made Kurt nervous but he trusted Blaine. It was an insane thing to do but he did.

Blaine pushed him lightly forward, it felt like they were walking forever, but Kurt didn't mind, it felt nice to have Blaine's body so close to his own.

"_Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination…" _Blaine sang quietly in his ear. It gave Kurt goosebumps when his breath ghosted over his ear and Blaine's voice was really good too.

"_What we'll see will define explanatioooon." _Blaine stopped walking and singing. He then removed his hands from Kurt's eyes. "Look."

Kurt opened his eyes and felt his breath hitch in his throat at the sight. It was a meadow, a different one from the one Rachel had given him directions to a month ago, this one was bigger and… better.

It was flowers in every color, the grass was very green, the trees were like a shield around it and the smell was absolutely wonderful. It smelled like in the flowershop, but better and less intense. Kurt was speechless, he had no idea Ohio could be so pretty.

"Oh my gosh…" He breathed.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Blaine said and smiled next to him.

"Yes, how did you know about this place?"

"Well, I found it." Blaine shrugged and sat down in the grass.

"Found it? How?" Kurt asked curiously and joined him on the grass.

Blaine inhaled and exhaled, like he was preparing to tell a story. It made Kurt excited, he wanted to know all about Blaine. Blaine seemed interesting.

"I was fifteen, I had just come out to my parents. My mom took it pretty well but my dad didn't." He shrugged again. "He shut me out, refused to speak to me. We used to be so close but suddenly he was sort of gone from my life, he had to move out eventually because he and mom had such intense fights."

"That's terrible." Kurt said with a frown.

"It wasn't easy. But anyway, the same day I had come out he yelled at me. He told me that I wasn't his son anymore, that he was disappointed in me. So I ran out, I couldn't do it. I got on my bike, I wasn't even looking for something, at least I don't think I did. But I got here. It was so beautiful here, so peaceful, so I laid down in the grass and just inhaled the smell of flowers. I've always loved flowers, you know."

"I can imagine." Kurt said with a soft smile.

"So everytime I felt miserable, which I did a lot, I came here. I named the place Pure Imagination, because it didn't feel real. I'd lay down, look at the sky, count stars or look at clouds, depending on if it was day or night. I'd smell the flowers, even put some in my hair sometimes."

"Wait, you came here on a bike? But it's like… so far away from Lima."

"I didn't live in Lima back then, I lived in Westerville, it's not too far away from here."

"Oh."

They fell into a comfortable silence, just looking around - or at least Kurt was - and getting familiar with the place. An image of a young Blaine with no gel and lots of flowers in his hair appeared into Kurt's mind. He smiled at the thought. Without really thinking he just picked a flower, it was purple and went so well with Blaine's eyes. He hesitated at first before he stuck it into Blaine's hair.

Blaine turned and looked at him with a amused face expression.

"What are you doing?" He asked softly.

"Purple is really your color." Kurt said instead.

"Is it?"

"Mhmm." Kurt hummed. "Thank you, by the way."

"For what?" Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"For showing me this place and sharing that memory, it was very… nice of you."

"No problems, I just thought that this could be our place, you know? Or you could come here by yourself, if you ever need some place to think."

"Thank you." Kurt smiled. He looked at Blaine's face: his beautiful features, the way the purple color really brought out the golden in his eyes, the way a few curls were loose from the gel and teased his forehead. Kurt was mesmerized.

Everything happened kind of naturally, they both just bent forward until they closed the gap between them. Blaine's lips felt soft against Kurt's own and they moved slowly. The butterflies was back in his stomach and he never wanted it to end.

But eventually it did. Kurt smiled, surprised to see that Blaine was smiling too.

"This really is pure imagination, Blaine." Kurt said, the smile never leaving his face.

"Yeah, it is." Blaine agreed. "But why did you kiss-"

"Please, don't ask anymore. I just… it feels right, it feels so right and I just- I don't wanna marry her. I want to be with… someone I can love." Kurt felt tears sting his eyes and he started shaking.

Blaine immediately took him into his arms, hugging him close, kissing the top of his head. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "It's okay, I get it. I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not?" Kurt sniffled, his voice muffled by Blaine's chest.

"Of course not. Look, I don't know what this will turn out to… but I'm gonna enjoy it for as long as it lasts."

"Me t-too." Kurt choked on a sob and tried to calm down while Blaine rubbed his back.

A few minutes later he seemed to do so, so Blaine let go and Kurt sat back up.

"Better?" Blaine asked carefully.

"Y-Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know why I always seem to cry around you." Kurt smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Blaine smiled sadly back, not sure of what to say. He didn't wanna ask too much, even though he had tons of questions right now. Kurt picked up a flower and busied himself with dragging the petals off.

"Do you think you can change rules, Blaine?" He suddenly asked.

"It depends on what you mean."

"Rules that has been the same forever, but you just go by them because you don't know any better. But maybe, if you were brave and changed them, things could be so much easier. Better, even." Kurt finally met his gaze, his blue eyes wide, filled with wonder.

"Yeah, maybe." Blaine said after a moment of thinking. "But you're gonna have to have a lot of courage to do that. Everyone may not agree with you."

"Yeah." Kurt snorted without humor. "There is just that, what if everyone thinks the opposite. Then you're screwed."

"Well, yes. But how is it ever going to change if no one takes the first step?" Blaine asked. "And so what if you screw up? The world is quite large, there are plenty of places to hide."

Kurt tilted his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that?"

"I'm aware. It can take some time to get use to." He grinned.

Kurt hit his arm playfully. "Asshole."

They shared a laugh and then just sort of enjoyed the way the sun seemed to have appeared just above them, shining down on their faces. Warmth filling the air.

"I wish I could stay here forever." Kurt said and laid down on the grass again. "I kinda like it here."

"I can see that." Blaine smiled, just a little proud of himself for making Kurt feel better.

Kurt kept his gaze on Blaine, it felt as if his eyes were shining into him, reading his mind or his soul or whatever. It made Blaine feel sort of uncomfortable.

"W-Why are you looking at me like that?" Blaine had to ask.

"Can I do something?" Kurt asked out of the blue.

"Can you..? Yeah, I, uh, I guess." Blaine shrugged.

"No, I can't." Kurt stopped himself and rolled over to his other side so his back faced Blaine.

"What?" Blaine was confused. He looked over at Kurt and saw him shaking, was he laughing or crying? Blaine couldn't tell.

"I- I'm a good person." Kurt cried. Oh, yeah, he was crying. "I don't cheat… I promised myself, I didn't even have to because I knew that… I just I wouldn't but now I… I kissed you twice and I want to do it again and it makes me feel so awful."

"Hey." Blaine said and tugged at Kurt's sleeve, making him roll over again. Kurt's face was wet with tears and his blue eyes looked so sad it hurt to look at him. "It takes two to tango, you know. Since I actually let you it makes me just as bad. I even started this so it makes me… the worst."

This didn't seem to make Kurt feel any better. He just cried harder and hugged his legs.

"Okay, but you sort of have a good excuse, Kurt. I get that you wanna do a little living before you get married. Because when you are, then you're stuck with her forever. So I understand that you want to know what it feels like to have a normal life and just do things because it feels right. I have been there, I know."

"You've been there?" Kurt sniffled.

"I haven't ever cheated on anyone, but I have been where you are. Yeah."

"Tell me?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, okay." Blaine looked a little uneasy.

"You don't have to."

"No, it's fine. It's not really a secret." Blaine shrugged. "Before I came out I sort of dated this girl, her name was Brittany. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. Anyhow, we were together for a while and my parents were so proud of me because I had found this rich, pretty girl. They didn't really care that she was stupid.

"So I just, I don't know, I met this other guy because I was so sick of all of them, they didn't give a shit about me or my happiness and I clearly wasn't happy. They knew, but they didn't care. So I started seeing that other guy, his name was Sam. I dated him for a few weeks but eventually he broke things off because he ended up realizing he was straight, so I had basically just been his little experiment. And then I caught Brittany making out with another girl, she was apparently bisexual and totally into this other girl so yeah everything ended."

Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but got cut off.

"And no I don't really call that cheating, since she did the same thing and she didn't really mind anyway. My parents were angry though, holy shit, they were mad."

"That's how you came out?" Kurt asked with wide eyes.

"Sort of. I saw my dad's eyes, he looked like he wanted to kill me. I didn't wanna make things worse so I came out as bisexual too, just to make things easier. And they took it a lot better than I expected, since there was still 'hope' for me. Then I came out as gay and… well, yeah." Blaine sighed and rubbed his temples.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said and wiped his own tears before laying a hand over Blaine's. "That's pretty messed up."

Blaine laughed a little. "Yeah, you're not the only one with a messed up life, you know." Blaine met his gaze and smiled softly.

Kurt's smile faded, he felt bad. He just kind of dumped all his shit on Blaine and hadn't even put as much as a thought into the fact Blaine might have some issues as well.

"I'm a dick." Kurt stated, feeling the urge to cry again. "I'm such a selfish dick."

"Stop. This day was supposed to get your mind off of things, wasn't it? Let's not talk or think more about that, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Kurt sighed.

Out of nowhere Blaine's lips were pressed against his own, he had no idea who had started it but they were kissing right now. And damn it felt right, it felt too good. Kurt felt like his stomach was gonna explode and a whole fucking ton of butterflies was gonna escape and fly out, cover the air and choke them both.

Eventually someone pulled away, who cares who? Kurt didn't know, didn't care.

"This place is called pure imagination for a reason, right?" Kurt panted. "Because it doesn't feel real. Let's just pretend that whatever's happening here is just imagination. _Our _imagination."

"Yeah, okay." Blaine breathed.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5: Let's play pretend

Chapter 5: Let's play pretend.

Their lips had found eachother once again and this time it was more urgent, more frantic. It was all teeth and tongue and hands was suddenly exploring and buttons were unbuttoned. Kurt couldn't breathe, couldn't think. His head was swimming, he felt drunk. His heart was beating in a rapid pace and it was like his hands were living their own life. Because suddenly he found himself grabbing Blaine's ass, causing Blaine to moan into his mouth.

And it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard. He needed Blaine to make that sound again, so he squeezed once more and Blaine moaned again. Kurt moved his hands to take off Blaine's first layer of shirts, Blaine lifted his hands over his head and let Kurt do so.

Kurt had no idea where this was going, but he didn't want to stop. So he started fumbling with his own shirt. He groaned in frustration when he couldn't get the shirt off, but then Blaine's hands were there and helped him out of the piece of clothing.

Kurt moved his hands down Blaine's chest, stomach, torso until he reached his growing erection. He palmed it through the thick material of Blaine's pants, but it was still enough for Blaine to moan even louder and grind down onto his hand. It was the hottest thing Kurt had ever witnessed.

"Fuck, Kurt." Blaine panted and bit down on his lower lip, causing Kurt to groan.

Blaine's hands found their way to Kurt's pants, struggling to get them off since they're so damn tight. Eventually they were down by his ankles and Blaine's hand was on his erection and- oh, that felt good.

Kurt made some sort of sound he had never done or heard in his life and it scared the shit out of him. He pulled away from Blaine and covered his mouth with his hands.

"Oh my god, did I just sound like a dying whale?!" Kurt's voice was muffled.

Blaine's eyes were dark with lust, his lips red and swollen, his hair a mess and all Kurt wanted was to rip the rest of his clothes off, to finally see the beautiful skin underneath. But he couldn't now, he had just embarrassed himself.

"Kurt, that was the hottest thing I've ever heard in my life." He said, his voice hoarse.

"Seriously?" Kurt asked in disbelief, as he removed his hands from his mouth.

"Yes, god, yes." Blaine moaned out and attacked Kurt's lips again, his hands finding their way back to Kurt's erection. Kurt was pretty sure he made that sound again but this time he didn't care, because Blaine Anderson found that sound _hot_.

Kurt moved his hands to grab Blaine's final piece of clothing on his upper body and dragged it off, finally getting to see what was underneath. And once he saw, he was pretty sure he was gonna cry.

Blaine was so beautiful it fucking hurt to look at him. His chest and stomach was toned, he was slightly tanned and he had just a tiny bit of chest hair. He was perfect, he was so attractive and every other word that Kurt couldn't think of right now.

"So hot…" Kurt breathed and ran a hand over his chest, touching the skin. His mouth found Blaine's again and his hands worked the button on Blaine's pants open and then pushed them down before taking his own off completely. Then he seated himself on top of Blaine, the thin material of their boxers the only thing that separated their erections from fully touching.

Blaine reached down and took off Kurt's shirt as well, they were both fully naked now besides their underwear. Kurt didn't mind at all, because Blaine seemed to be just as amazed by his body as Kurt was of Blaine's.

Kurt started to grind down, their erections brushing against eachother roughly. They both whined and moaned and fuck it felt too good and since Kurt had never done this before (masturbation doesn't count) the pleasure was almost too intense.

"Fuck, Blaine, I'm so close." Kurt panted and continued to grind against him as hard and as fast as he could, trying to get as much friction as possible.

"I'm there with you," Blaine informed him breathlessly. "Holy shit, don't stop, please…"

"I won't, I swear." Kurt started going extra fast just to prove it and Blaine moaned so loudly but they didn't care because so did Kurt and they were far away from everything and everyone so no one could hear them and even if anyone could, Kurt wasn't sure either one of them would care.

"Fuck, holyfuckingshit Kuuuuuuuurt!" Blaine screamed his name as he came in his boxers.

Kurt was stunned, Blaine Anderson coming was the most breathtaking thing he had ever seen. The way he threw his head back, revealing his perfect neck, his lips parting, screaming _Kurt's_ name and eyes closing.

Kurt continued to grind even though Blaine started whimpering from overstimulation, but just a few seconds later Kurt was coming too, screaming Blaine's name. His orgasm was so intense he was sure he was gonna black out, but he didn't. He just collapsed on top of Blaine who fell back onto the grass. Both of them completely out of breath.

"Holy-"

"Shit." Blaine finished for him.

"Yeah… did we, did we just do that?" Kurt panted.

"We did." Blaine stated.

"I just… we just…" Blaine could hear in Kurt's voice that he was freaking out again.

"No, please, Kurt, don't cry…" Blaine tried but failed because hot tears was already falling down Kurt's flushed cheeks. Kurt's body was shaking again and he was crying harder than Blaine had ever seen him.

"Oh my god, I cheated on Rachel and I- you, Blaine- I can't- oh god I'm so sorry!" Kurt cried and stood up, ignoring the uncomfortable stickiness in his underwear. He picked up his pants and started putting them on in a hurry.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Blaine said and grabbed Kurt's arms, stopping his movements. "Please, Kurt, calm down. Deep breaths, okay?"

Kurt inhaled and exhaled, trying to get his tears under control. They were still falling but he was calmer.

"I-" Kurt began but shut himself up because he probably couldn't say anything to make anything better.

"It's okay, just-" Blaine began but Kurt cut him off.

"No! It's not fucking okay! First it was kissing now it's fucking clothed sex, when did this happen? Why did this happen?" Kurt was nearly pulling the hair out of his head. "Rachel is a good person, okay! She's the sweetest girl I've ever met and she would never do this to me! And before I met you I was pretty damn sure I wouldn't either but now I have and fuck, I've screwed everything up." Kurt lost his balance and let himself fall onto his butt, face hid in his hands.

Blaine sat down next to him, he didn't touch him or said anything. He simply waited for Kurt to calm down a little. So minutes passed by, how many was unknown. But it felt like a really long time. Eventually Kurt's breathing was even and he had stopped crying, though he kept his face burried in his hands.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said below a whisper. "This isn't your fault, it's mine. You probably feel used, I- I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"I don't feel used." Blaine sighed. "It's just… it's difficult because you seemed to really want this and now you're freaking out."

"I don't even know how it started!" Kurt squeaked.

"It started with a kiss." Blaine shrugged and looked down at his hands. "Then some touching and-"

"Okay, I know _how_ it started!" Kurt groaned and looked up at him. "But _who_ started it?"

"You did." Blaine chewed on his bottom lip. Kurt felt sick to his stomach. How was he supposed to look Rachel in the eyes after this?

"I'm an ass." Kurt said and slapped himself. Then he did it again, because it felt sort of good to take his anger out on himself. And again and again and-

"Stop slapping yourself!" Blaine demanded and grabbed his wrists, forcing him to stop. "It's not going to make any of this undone."

"I'm sorry." Kurt whispered again.

"Stop apologizing, I'm not the one who you should be apologizing to." Blaine said softly.

"Are you insane? I'm not gonna tell Rachel about this!" Kurt's eyes reflected pure horror. "She'll… she'll fall to pieces!"

"I guess that isn't the best idea, is it?" Blaine mumbled under his breath.

"Can we just…" Kurt tried after a minute. "Can we just pretend this never happened? Like, when we're here we can talk about it, if we need to. And here it happened, but out there, it didn't."

"Yeah, okay." Blaine eventually said. Kurt thought Blaine looked hurt, but just for a split second.

"I'm sorry." Kurt said again. "I shouldn't have done this to you."

"You didn't do anything to _me_," Blaine said firmly. "The only one you did anything to was yourself."

"Then why do you look hurt?" Kurt had to ask.

"Because I let you." Blaine frowned at him. "I didn't stop you, because I didn't want it to stop. I was selfish, kissing is one thing but this is… different."

"I guess it is." Kurt sighed, the urge to vomit and cry very intense.

"But Kurt, you'll be okay. This was just a… a one time thing." Blaine started. "Like you said, let's pretend it never happened."

"Okay." Kurt whispered back. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to pretend, he didn't say it out loud though.

* * *

Kurt sat on the couch, he was fumbling with his phone nervously. He had showered and changed, to make sure he didn't smell like _another man_. He had skipped dinner though, because he couldn't eat. He had already thrown up, as soon as he got through the door he ran into the bathroom and was pretty sure he had gotten up breakfast from last week.

His stomach was in knots and he still felt sick with himself. He may not love Rachel, but she was a good person and she deserved way better than him. She deserved a guy she could trust, because she couldn't trust Kurt anymore. And that thought scared Kurt the most.

He heard the front door open and he knew it was Rachel. It got confirmed by her saying 'hello', then she skipped into the livingroom, looking very excited and happy.

"Hi, sweetie!" She said and pressed a light kiss to his lips. The lips that had been kissing someone else that wasn't Rachel

_Stop, Kurt._

"Hi, did you find a wedding dress?" He tried not to sound so damn nervous but he failed, his voice was shaking and he was still on the edge of tears.

"I did!" She smiled even bigger as she sat down next to him. "Oh, Kurt, it's so beautiful. You're gonna love it when you see it."

"I bet." Kurt tried to smile, but it looked strained.

"Are you alright?" She frowned.

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired."

"Alright, why don't you go to bed and I'll be right there in a second." She offered. Kurt smiled at her before walking up the stairs.

He changed into his pyjamas and crawled underneath the covers. He wanted to fall asleep before she came in again, he had to, he needed to.

He didn't.

A few minutes later he felt her lay down next to him, her body pressed tightly against his, she hugged him from behind and pressed a kiss just below his ear.

"Goodnight baby." She whispered.

"Goodnight Rachel." Kurt whispered back and waited until he was sure she was asleep before he let the tears fall again. He sobbed in silence and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Kurt needed to apologize, he felt guilty. So while Rachel was still asleep early in the morning, he sneaked out to his car and drove to the flowershop.

The drive felt longer than it usually did, which only made the thing worse. Kurt's stomach was still in knots from yesterday and he couldn't breathe properly.

Eventually he reached the flowershop, he parked the car and took a deep breath before walking out. He made sure that there was no costumers in there just yet before he walked in. Blaine stood by the desk, as usual. Kurt walked carefully forward until he reached the desk, Blaine didn't notice him so he cleared his throat. Blaine looked up and Kurt could only see those golden eyes, those eyes that reminded him of everything they had done. He had to look away.

"Kurt, w-what are you doing here?" Blaine asked quietly.

"I came to apologize." Kurt sighed. "I feel terrible about how I reacted yesterday, it was wrong and I feel so stupid."

"I already told you that-"

"No, please, let me finish." Kurt begged. Blaine sighed and nodded.

"I want you to know that I don't regret anything. It was perfect, _you_ were perfect and I would love to do it again." Kurt started. "And that's what scares me the most. I would do it all over again, I wouldn't take it back. And that makes me even more of a cheater."

He made a pause before continuing.

"A few months ago I thought I would never do that, but now here I am. And I'm just afraid that when I marry Rachel, I will do it again. Not even with you but maybe with some other guy? What if I end up cheating on her year after year until we die?" Kurt swallowed thickly. "I don't want that, I-I can't do that to h-her. And that's why I freaked out, because I knew that I would do it again if I got the chance. And I don't wanna be that kind of guy, a bad guy, a horrible cheater." Kurt finished.

Blaine looked at him with sad eyes and then nodded. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah. But Kurt, I know that you would never do that. Like we agreed, that was just a one time thing."

Kurt nodded. "I really hope you're right, Blaine."

"I am." Blaine smiled a little and then pulled him in for a tight hug. Kurt hugged back and let himself relax into Blaine's embrace. He felt safe, he felt calm and he felt _right_.

"I should go home before Rachel wakes up." Kurt eventually said and let go of Blaine's tight embrace, immediately missing the warmth.

"Yeah, yeah, you should." Blaine said awkwardly and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I'll see you around?" Kurt made it a question.

"Yeah, if you want to."

"Of course I do, I really like you, Blaine." Kurt smiled a little and for no reason, he planted a small kiss on Blaine's mouth.

"Bye." He said with a blush. Blaine's cheeks were pretty pink as well as he waved back at Kurt.

* * *

Kurt opened the door and tip-toed quietly inside. He took off his jacket and quietly made his way into their bedroom to see if Rachel was still asleep, luckily she was. Kurt let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He watched her sleep, he felt kind of creepy doing it but she looked so beautiful when she was sleeping. The way her chest rose everytime she inhaled, the way her lips were slightly parted, the way her hair was covering almost the whole pillow and her tiny figure hidden under the covers. She looked peaceful.

He bit his lip once he felt the feeling of guilty appear in his stomach again, she didn't deserve him. They hadn't even gotten married yet and he was already cheating on her. No, it was just a one time thing but he had still done it. He needed to sort of make it up to her, to make himself feel slightly better.

He decided to make some breakfast and bring it to the bed as a little surprise. It wasn't nearly enough to cover up for what he's done, but it was at least something. So he walked to the kitchen and made some eggs, bacon, sandwiches and some fresh juice. He carried it all inside in one go and put it beside her on the nightstand.

"Rachel." He whispered and shaked her carefully. She looked so fragile he was afraid he would break her, which was really stupid when he thought twice about it.

"Rachel!" He said a little louder and shaked her more gently.

"Huh?" He opened her eyes and her chocolate orbs found his ocean blue ones.

"Goodmorning, sweetie. I made you breakfast." Kurt smiled and made a gesture at all the food next to her.

"Oh my gosh, you didn't have to- Kurt, it smells wonderful." She beamed at him.

"Yes I did, I wanted to surprise you." He said and let her kiss his lips.

"What for?" She asked and popped a piece of bacon into her mouth.

"Can't I surprise my fiancée without a reason?"

"You're the best." She said with a smile.

_No I'm not, I'm the worst._

"I love you, Kurt."

Kurt swallowed thickly. "I love you too, Rachel."

_I'm sorry._

TBC


	6. Chapter 6: It's kind of perfect here

Chapter 6: It's kind of perfect here.

"So, I've been thinking," Kurt began as they sat on the meadow a few weeks later. They had been going there almost everyday, sometimes just talking, others just kissing. They didn't know why they were doing it but they did, they didn't know what it meant but they still did it.

"Thinking about what?" Blaine asked with a smile as he looked over at Kurt.

"That you're a very good kisser." Kurt admitted.

Blaine's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Really?"

"Yeah, like, really good. Whoever wins your heart in the end is one hell of a lucky guy."

Blaine's smile fell and he looked down at his hands. He nodded slightly but didn't add any comments. Kurt frowned, he'd done that a lot lately. It's not like… like he actually likes Kurt, is it? It couldn't be. Sure, they had had clothed sex once and kissed a few times but it's not like that could turn into anything more, could it?

"Are you okay?" Kurt had to ask.

"What? Yeah, yeah. I'm alright." Blaine nodded.

Kurt leaned over and kissed his cheek. He really liked Blaine's cheeks, they were soft and beautiful.

_How the fuck is cheeks beautiful?_

Kurt rolled his eyes at his own thoughts and kissed Blaine on the mouth instead. Blaine kissed back and Kurt felt him smile into it.

"You're not too bad yourself, you know." Blaine said once they'd pulled away.

"So I've been told." Kurt joked.

"Asshole." Blaine smiled at him. Kurt winked.

"You know I love it here, right? With you, it feels… safe. Like I don't need to pretend to be someone I'm not." Kurt said honestly.

"Yeah, you keep saying that." Blaine smiled sadly. "I wish I could tell you it's always gonna be like this but… I guess you won't be coming here as often once you're married."

"Why wouldn't I? We're… we're friends, right?"

"Yeah, _friends_." Blaine said with an eyeroll. Kurt gave him a look. "I'm kidding, yes we're friends, Kurt."

Kurt laid down and rested his head in Blaine's lap. Blaine started playing with his hair as the sun kept on shining down on them. Kurt smiled, it felt so good to just _be_ there, in the sun, with Blaine.

"You know, if I had a choice," Kurt began after a while. "I think I might have chosen you."

Blaine's heart stopped beating for a second and he froze. "W-What?"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It was stupid, just forget it." Kurt sighed.

"Maybe I don't want to forget about it." Blaine mumbled. Kurt sat up and looked at him, eyebrows rosen.

"Stubborn idiot." Kurt said with a smile.

"Fucking asshole." Blaine shot back.

"Thanks, Blaine."

"But seriously though, Kurt. You mean you would have done that? You would have married me? A dude you've only known for like one and a half month?"

Kurt looked at him. He knew the answer, but his big mouth had already said too much. So he had to do what he had gotten so good at lately.

"No." Kurt said and laughed a little, but it wasn't any humor into it. "It was a stupid thing to say. We- we're just friends. We- we can't think like that, it's not- it's not right and-"

"Kurt, chill. I was kidding." Blaine said with half a smile.

"Really? Thank god. I'm sorry, sometimes I say really weird things." Kurt made a face at how bad that excuse was.

"But you must be starting to like me since you've made it through a few heavy makeout sessions without freaking out or crying." Blaine pointed out.

"Shut up." Kurt said and hid his face in his hands. He heard Blaine laugh beside him and kiss his cheek.

"Don't worry, I kind of like you too." Blaine admitted.

Kurt looked up at him and smiled, a blush creeping up his neck. "It's kind of perfect here."

"It is." Blaine agreed.

* * *

Rachel had called Kurt like half an hour later, to tell him that they, his dad and Rachel's parents were gonna have dinner together. Kurt really wished he could have stayed with Blaine all night, but he knew that wasn't an option. So he had said goodbye and left to get a shower, once he was done he changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a green button down shirt. Then he drove over to Rachel's parents house, it was rather large. Much bigger than his own, and way fancier.

"Kurt! It's so nice to see you!" Rachel's mom said once she opened. She looked just like Rachel, it was almost scary. She had the same smile and the same kind eyes.

"Hello, ." He greeted and stepped inside. Everyone was already seated at the table.

"Come and sit down, we were just about to eat." She said and made a gesture for him to sit down next to his dad, infont of Rachel.

Kurt had a hard time looking Rachel in the eyes, he just gazed at her briefly and gave her a strained smile, then he had to look away. It was always like this the first couple of hours, he felt horrible for sneaking away to see Blaine. But he didn't stop, even though he should.

"So, are you kids excited for the wedding?" asked. He was a tall man with brown hair and glasses.

"Yes, dad. I can't wait for everyone to see my dress! And to finally be married to this wonderful man." Kurt could feel her eyes on him and he knew he had to look up, so he did. He met her eyes and gave her another smile.

"What about you, Kurt?" His own dad asked.

"What? Yes, I'm so happy. I can't wait to be married to this beautiful, amazing woman." He felt sick with himself, he did not deserve her. He did not. She was blushing and giving him the damn heart eyes. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to run away.

"Look at you two," said and held a hand over her heart. "Such a true match. Seems like we found your soulmates for you."

"Yeah, I guess you did." Rachel said with another genuine smile. Kurt only nodded. If he spoke he would probably say something really stupid. He lifted his glass to busy his mouth.

"So, grandchildren!" said and clapped his hands together. "When can we expect any?"

Kurt choked on his water and started coughing, nearly throwing up. His dad patted him on his back as everyone gave him concerned looks. Eventually he calmed down, his face was red and he had tears in his eyes. His throat felt sore.

"Ugh…" He groaned and took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, are you okay sweetie?" Rachel asked with a frown.

"Yeah, never been better." Kurt lied.

"So, grandchildren." repeated.

"Let the kids get used to being married before you start bothering them about that too!" said and rolled her eyes.

then started a new conversation with Kurt's dad, which both Rachel and her mom soon enough joined. Kurt was happy that he could just nod sometimes and didn't have to say anything. He felt sick, tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. Not that it would help since he would be sleeping next to Rachel, feeling her body pressed against his. He wanted nothing more than to be alone tonight, he wanted to cry alone and try to untie the knots in his stomach that was made out of pure guilt.

* * *

"For how long have you been here all by yourself?" Blaine asked as he walked towards Kurt.

The night had been horrible, Kurt had barely slept, he had only been trying to swallow down his sobs and take even breaths. He didn't know why he kept doing this, he had been sitting on the meadow for two hours, just thinking. He had texted Blaine and asked him to come because he was gonna break things off, but now when Blaine stood there, looking so fucking beautiful and perfect and somehow those eyes calmed his nerves at the same time as they seriously messed with his brain, he just couldn't bring himself to do that.

"An hour or so." Kurt mumbled and hugged his legs close, resting his chin on his knees.

"Why? Is everything alright?" Blaine joined him on the grass and looked at him with a frown.

Kurt looked at him. Blaine. He was so beautiful, so perfect it hurt to look at him. His toned arms was perfectly visible in the t-shirt he was wearing, the red pants was folded to show off his bare ankles. His eyes were glowing and his dark hair was just as gelled as it always was. He was perfect, Kurt decided. Yeah, perfect described Blaine very well.

But he still needed to say what he had called him here to say, to tell him whatever they have, is over. Because he can't stand cheating on Rachel, because he can't lose more sleep and because he just _can't_.

"I want you." Kurt breathed. He was taken aback by his own words, his eyes widened and he almost clasped a hand over his mouth, _almost. _Okay, so that was most definitely not what he thought he was gonna say.

"What?" Blaine asked, his eyes wide as well. He seemed just as shocked, which wasn't very surprising at all.

"I want you." Kurt said again. What the fuck? What was with him? His mouth had clearly stopped listening to his brain.

"Um… o-okay? I thought _that_ was a one time thing?" Blaine made it a question.

Kurt shaked his head, everything was spinning. But somehow when he looked at Blaine, everything just stopped doing so.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to." Kurt murmured.

"No, I want to. I just… I just want to make sure that _you_ want to." Blaine's words surprised Kurt and he snapped his head up to look at him.

"Seriously? You want to? After everything I've said and done." Kurt gaped at him.

Blaine chuckled slightly. "Yes, Kurt. This is our imagination, remember? Anything that happens here stays here."

"Still, I was an ass before."

"You were, but it's fine. Like I said before, I get that you want to… to experiment right now before you're married. It's pretty insane and completely wrong, but somehow I can't bring myself to say no." Blaine shaked his head at himself and rolled his eyes.

"This isn't just me experimenting, Blaine. I hope you know that." Kurt said before he crashed their lips together in a heated kiss.

They stayed like that, just kissing. Letting their tongues exploring eachothers mouths and hands exploring their bodies. Eventually the kissing got more frantic and sloppy as Blaine began pressing open mouthed kisses along Kurt's neck.

Kurt felt himself go hard pretty quickly and apparently so did Blaine when he felt his erection against his thigh. Kurt flipped Blaine over so that he was lying on top of him, he grinned as he kissed him again and palmed Blaine's erection through his pants. Blaine moaned at the contact and it was still the hottest thing Kurt has ever heard.

"Fuck, Blaine." Kurt groaned as he rushed to take off his shirt and then Blaine's. Honestly Kurt didn't really know what he was doing, but Blaine seemed to enjoy it so far so he continued.

He massaged him through his pants until Blaine started whining, then he gave his ass a gentle squeeze and then started unbuttoning Blaine's pants. He tugged the pants off along with his underwear and Blaine's erection sprung free. Kurt's eyes widened at the sight and he felt his mouth water.

It was so… beautiful. Maybe it was strange to describe a dick as beautiful but Blaine's sure as hell was. It was quite large, purple-ish from being so hard and pre-come was leaking from the tip.

"Oh _god_, Kurt please." Blaine moaned underneath him. Kurt snapped out of his thoughts and realized that he was just staring, he wasn't doing much. He started kissing down Blaine's stomach, marking him by sucking hard at the skin. Once he reached Blaine's cock he took his entire length in his mouth, which was pretty stupid.

Blaine's cock was reaching far down his throat and he had to fight back his gag reflex. He could feel Blaine throbbing in his mouth, and fuck it was so hot. He started sucking lightly and Blaine squirmed and tangled his hands into Kurt's hair.

Kurt started sucking harder and then Blaine began thrusting into his mouth, reaching even further down his throat. Kurt's eyes were watering by now but he didn't care, this was so hot and he didn't care if he was gonna fucking die from lack of oxygen right now because it would be worth it.

"So close…" Blaine panted. Kurt then grabbed his hips to still him, he then forced his mouth off Blaine's delicious cock and blew some cool air on it. Blaine whined at the loss.

"What- what are you doing?" He asked.

"I… I want you, um.." Kurt blushed furiously. Blaine was so hot right now, his lips swolled from the kissing, hickeys everywhere and his hair a mess.

"What do you want, Kurt?" Blaine asked softly, ignoring his aching cock.

"I want you inside me." Kurt said and hid his face in his hands out of embarrassment.

"Hey." Blaine said and removed his hands from his face. He pressed a kiss to Kurt's nose and then his lips. "Are you sure? We don't have any lube…"

"I'm sure. If you want to." Kurt said shyly.

"I want to." Blaine nodded. "Um, lie on your stomach for me?"

Kurt nodded and laid down on his stomach. Blaine then brought his hand to Kurt's asshole, teasing the entrance until Kurt started whining, then he pushed a finger inside.

"Oh, fuck!" Kurt screamed. It was burning but fuck it felt good at the same time. Blaine stayed still, letting Kurt get used to the feeling. Then he started moving around a little, fighting against the muscles.

"More, please, Blaine." Kurt begged. Blaine added a second finger and started scissoring them inside Kurt. The sounds he made right now made Blaine wanna come right on the spot. Kurt started thrusting up against his fingers as Blaine added a third.

"Please, I want you, Blaine. _Please_." Kurt sounded so broken.

"Okay." Blaine nodded and pulled his fingers out. He took his wallet out of his pants and brought out a condom, he ripped it open with his teeth and then rolled it on. He tried to coat his cock with his pre-come to make it as slick as possible. He then raised to his knees and lined his cock up with Kurt's asshole and pushed the head inside first.

"Ohfuckholyshitfuck!" Kurt babbled. Blaine waited a minute, fighting the urge to push in more, but he didn't wanna hurt Kurt. After a while he pushed in some more.

"More, Blaine, more!" Kurt begged, so Blaine pushed his entire length inside.

"Oh, fuck, Kurt. You're so tight!" He moaned. After giving Kurt a few minutes to get used to the feeling he started thrusting. The feeling was overwhelming and he felt himself getting close within seconds.

Kurt was a babbling mess and was moaning so loudly and it was so hot and so was Blaine and fuck everything felt so good. Neither one of them as gonna last very long.

"Fuck, Blaine, I'm gonna come!" Kurt panted.

"Me too." Blaine moaned. He thrusted in and out twice before he came inside of Kurt, after one more thrust Kurt came too, with a scream.

They didn't say much as they both fell back on the grass, panting and sweating. Their lips swollen, their hair a mess and they bodies numb. Kurt knew that he should feel guilty about this, which he would, but right now he just wanted to enjoy the afterglow for as long as it would last.

"That… that was-"

"Awesome." Blaine finished for him and looked over at him with a smile on his face. Kurt beamed at him and gave his lips a quick peck.

"Yeah, but that wasn't what I was gonna say." Kurt blushed and looked down at his hands.

"What were you gonna say?" Blaine asked with a frown, obviously expecting the worst.

"No, it's not… it's not bad. It's just, um, that was… that was my first time." Kurt admitted awkwardly. He felt embarrassed somehow.

"What?" Blaine's eyes widened.

"I know, I know. I'm a silly virgin. _Was_ a silly virgin."

"No, it's not that I think you're silly. I just can't believe someone as beautiful as you haven't had sex." Blaine said truthfully.

Kurt felt his heart skip a beat, Blaine had just called him beautiful. His cheeks became even redder and he bit his lip.

"I never came out, Blaine. I never got the chance to experiment at all. I just knew deep down inside that I was, well, gay. And I knew that if I dated anyone everyone would find out and I couldn't do that, then my dad found me girls he wanted me to meet. So I just sort of put boys aside." Kurt shrugged.

"That's terrible, Kurt. I'm sorry." Blaine reached out his hand, Kurt stared at it for a moment before slipping his own into Blaine's. He loved how well their hands seemed to fit, like they were made to be like that.

"Don't be, it's fine." Kurt made a pause and looked up at him through his eyelashes, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes." Blaine said without hesitation. "Of course, have you seen yourself? You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life."

Kurt didn't know how to answer that, so he just pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss. It meant so much to him to hear that from Blaine. Partly because no one had ever called Kurt beautiful before, but mostly because that's exactly the word he would use to describe Blaine.

"I really, really like you, Blaine." Kurt sighed and brushed his thumb over Blaine's knuckles.

"And I really, really like you too." Blaine told him.

"I wish things were different."

"Yeah, me too. But let's not think about that right now."

"Okay."

* * *

Kurt decided to spend the night with Blaine. So he turned his phone off, stuffed it into his pocket and followed Blaine to his apartment. It was a lot smaller than the one Kurt and Rachel had at the moment. But it was very colorful but dark at the same time, it smelled wonderful inside.

"Do you mind if we just go to sleep? I'm sort of exhausted." Kurt yawned. "I haven't slept very well lately."

"No, of course. I'm just gonna get changed, do you want to borrow some clothes to sleep in?"

"Yes, that'd be great." Kurt smiled. Blaine returned it and then walked over to his closet which was inside his bedroom. He grabbed a t-shirt and sweatpants which gave to Kurt.

"These should fit, we're about the same size." Blaine said as he began to undress himself.

"What- what are you doing?" Kurt asked with wide eyes as Blaine stripped out of his pants.

"I'm changing into my pyjamas, duh."

"Here? Infront of me?"

"Kurt." Blaine said and stopped his movements, raising both of his eyebrows. "We just had sex. On a meadow. In the sunlight. I think we've seen pretty much everything."

Kurt found himself blushing furiously, Blaine had a point.

"But if it makes you uncomfortable I can go to the bathroom."

"No, no. It's okay, you're right." Kurt said and smiled awkwardly as he changed into the clothes Blaine had given him.

Wordlessly Blaine walked over to the bed and laid down, he looked at Kurt and gave him a smile and a small nod. Kurt blushed again and walked over to the other side of the large bed. He could almost feel Blaine's eyes on his ass as he walked around in the tight sweatpants. He laid down next to Blaine on the bed, underneath the covers. He turned to the side and then smiled when he felt Blaine's safe, strong arms wrap around him.

"Goodnight, Kurt." Blaine whispered and pressed a kiss to Kurt's cheek.

"Goodnight, Blaine." Kurt whispered back. It only took him a minute to fall into a comfortable sleep. It was the best sleep he had ever had since he moved in with Rachel.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7: The words of a wise uncle

**A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than the previous ones, but the next one should be up quite soon! So hang in there, yeah? :) I hope you enjoy this one & make sure to review before you leave!**

* * *

Chapter 7: The words of a wise uncle.

"What are you so smiley about?" Blaine's uncle asked. He had looked up once ten minutes ago and noticed Blaine smiling like an idiot, and he hadn't stopped.

"What?" Blaine said and looked at him, the smile never leaving his face. "Nothing, I'm just… happy, I guess."

"Let _me_ guess. Is it about a boy?"

"Well, yeah." Blaine mumbled.

"Is it that Kurt kid?"

"Yes, why?"

"Are you two together or something?" His uncle had to ask.

"I um, well, no. We're not."

"Really? Cause the other day when I was in here to get some flowers for your grandpas grave, I saw the two of you kissing." His uncle raised an eyebrow.

Blaine blushed furiously. "It was just kissing."

"Just kissing? Blaine, do you know who Kurt is?" His uncle stopped what he was doing to give Blaine a look.

"Um, of course I do?"

"He's from the Hummel family. Do you know who they are?"

Blaine was quiet for a second. "No."

"Kurt's father is Burt Hummel, does the name Taylor Hummel sound familiar to you?"

"Wasn't that our queen like hundred years ago?" Blaine asked.

"Yes, she was. But we don't have kings or queens anymore in this country, do we?"

"No, Greyson. We don't." Blaine rolled his eyes.

"But they are still living by the rules, it's very antique but it's the way they live. Do you know what those rules are?"

Blaine just shrugged and shaked his head, looking down at his hands.

"That the parents of the son or daughter has to find a partner of the opposite sex for them to marry." His uncle, Greyson, said.

"I know that." Blaine said and looked up. "Kurt is marrying-"

"Rachel Berry. Yes." Greyson nodded. "It's all over the newspapers."

"Why are you telling me this? I already knew this." Blaine sighed tiredly.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt."

"Why would I get hurt?"

"Blaine." Greyson gave him another look. "I see the way you look at him. You obviously like him a whole lot more than you want to admit."

"He likes me back." Blaine had to say. "He does, he said that."

"It doesn't matter. You know he's gonna choose her in the end, because he has to."

"I already knew this too." Blaine groaned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Did you? Then why are you still with him? Isn't it gonna sort of break your heart when he one day tells you goodbye and runs down the alter with her?"

Blaine felt the ridiculous urge to cry. He knew this, he had thought about it in the beginning. But now all he could think about was Kurt, all he wanted to do was live in the moment and deal with saying goodbye later. Maybe it was stupid and rather selfish but he hadn't cared back then.

"Probably." Blaine sighed.

"Look, I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, Blaine. You're twenty-one years old. I trust you to make your own choices, I'm just saying."

"I know, thanks." Blaine gave him a strained smile. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna take the rest of the day off. I have… I have to deal with stuff now."

"Yeah, sure." Greyson gave him a sad smile and then Blaine left.

He felt like crying, his heart was aching in his chest and he wanted to punch himself in the face. How could he have been so stupid? He had promised himself not to get feelings for Kurt, but damn it! He had to break it off with him. He needed to do it right now actually.

"Hey, Blaine!" He heard a familiar voice and he stopped his walk, the voice was very familiar but it didn't belong to Kurt. He turned around and saw a tall boy in his age walk towards him. The boy had brown, messy hair and green eyes.

"Nolan?" Blaine said and tried to smile. Nolan had been his friend since they were kids and met in kindergarten.

"I'm so happy that I ran into you, I wanted to ask you something." Nolan said and grinned.

"Yeah, okay."

"Would you, maybe wanna, um, go out with me?"

Blaine stared at him with a shocked face expression. He knew Nolan was a bisexual, but he had never considered the fact that he might have had a crush on him. Did he even feel the same for Nolan? He had no idea, he had never thought of him in that way. But maybe this was a perfect opportunity for him to forget about Kurt. It was selfish, once again, but one day wouldn't hurt, would it?

* * *

"Where the hell have you been all night?!" Kurt froze on the spot. He had just closed the door to their apartment when Rachel had stormed out of the livingroom. She actually looked pissed, her whole face screamed concern and anger. Her arms were folded over her chest and she was still dressed in her pyjamas.

"I um…" Kurt had sort of been hoping that she would have been asleep when he got home, that's why he left so early.

"You what? And why were your phone off? I tried calling you all night, Kurt! God, I was so _worried_ I thought you had been in a car accident or something!"

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to scare you, I stayed the night at an old friend of mine." He felt terrible for lying to her again, the knots in his stomach only getting tighter.

"Why?" She had to know."Because it had been a really long time since I saw her, so I stayed the night.""_Her_?" Rachel's eyes doubled its size. "Are you cheating on me, Kurt? With another woman?"

Kurt's throat got tight and his mouth wouldn't form any words. He was so screwed.

"Rachel." Kurt said once he found his voice, he looked her right in the eyes. "I can promise you that I am not cheating on you with another woman." Well, at least he didn't lie.

She narrowed her eyes at him and then her face expression softened as she threw her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know you wouldn't cheat on me, but Kurt I was so worried. Promise me you won't scare me like that again."

Her voice was muffled against his chest. Kurt was pretty sure that this was the worst he had ever felt in his life. He hugged her back carefully, he really did not deserve this woman. She was too good for him. If someone had asked him if he thought she was too good for him two months ago, he would have said no. But now he was sure that she was. Actually, she became too good for him the second he decided to cheat on her.

"I promise." He said and kissed her head. "I'm so sorry."

He didn't apologize for scaring her, he kept apologizing over and over because he was cheating on her. He wanted to tell her the truth so badly and ask her to find another man, but it was too hard. And Kurt was too much of a coward to do that. He hated himself right now, he had hated himself for quite a while so he was used to the feeling by now. He wondered if he is ever gonna be able to stare at his reflection without feeling the urge to vomit.

* * *

"I have a boyfriend." Blaine said and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"W-What?" Kurt asked, completely shocked. Desperately trying to wrap his mind around what he'd just heard.

"I have a boyfriend." Blaine repeated.

"I heard you the frist time, I just couldn't believe it."

"Look, Kurt." Blaine sighed. "Who were we kidding? You're getting married in less than a month, this - whatever it is - was gonna end eventually, we both knew that."

"I know that." Kurt snapped. Blaine raised both eyebrows, Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. So, who's the lucky guy?"

"His name is Nolan, I've known him since freshman year in high school. He asked me out the other day and I said yes."

"And you're already calling him your boyfriend?" Kurt said, unconvinced.

"Yeah. I mean I've known the guy forever, we're not really dating. We're practically already together." Blaine looked… Kurt didn't know what he looked like, but he didn't look happy. His happiness looked forced.

"That's… that's great." Kurt gave him a strained smile.

They fell into silence, they kept eyecontact the whole time, which made the whole thing even more awkward. Eventually Blaine looked away, looking into those eyes was too hard to do right now.

"I should go. Rachel and I, we're… um, we're gonna see which cake we want at the wedding."

"Yeah? That sounds like fun."

"Not really. She wants red velvet and I want chocolate, I guess it's gonna be a red-velvet-chocolate cake." Kurt looked sheepish.

"Ew, that sounds disgusting." Blaine made a face.

"Yeah, I know. Some things just aren't supposed to be mixed." Kurt said and found Blaine's eyes again. Blaine knew that he wasn't talking about the cake, it was a deeper message, but he didn't comment it.

"Alright, bye."

"Bye, Blaine." Kurt smiled a little and then turned around and walked away, his stomach feeling empty and his heart aching.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8: You're gonna make me lonesome

Chapter 8: You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

"Hey." Blaine turned around at the sound of Kurt's voice.

"Kurt…" He said.

"What are… why haven't you called me?" Kurt asked and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just because you have a boyfriend now you're not gonna talk to me anymore?"

"I'm not not talking to you because I have a boyfriend, it's because it's too hard."

"Why? Blaine, I _missed_ you."

"I know, I missed you too." He said truthfully. He had, he missed Kurt everyday.

"Then why can't we see eachother again?"

"Because you're marrying Rachel." Blaine sighed.

"I'm not marrying her because I want to."

"It doesn't matter, Kurt. You're still marrying her and we can't do this anymore. It's not fair to anyone of us."

"But Blaine… I lo- I _like_ you." Kurt started getting frustrated.

"I like you too, more than I should. That's why we need to stop. Everytime I'm with you I want to kiss you, or hug you or just be with you. But we can't."

"So what? You're just gonna walk away from me now?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"It's for the best." Blaine felt his throat go tight, he could not cry now. He couldn't.

"No." Kurt said and his eyes widen, he looked like he was about to have a panic attack. "No, Blaine. Please, please don't walk away from me. I can't- you're the only one in this world that I can be myself around. Please don't go."

"I have to, don't you understand?" Blaine was getting frustrated himself, fighting back his tears. "I can't sneak off with you like this-"

"I'm not asking you to sneak off with me! I'm asking you to be my friend!"

"I can't just be your friend!" Blaine shouted. "I want to _be with you_! Don't you get it? I can't walk around you and see you with her, see the sadness in your eyes and knowing that I can't make it better. I can't see you kiss her and know that I can't!"

"Blaine I don't know what to do!" Kurt said helplessly as tears started rolling down his cheeks, he looked so heartbroken and miserable Blaine could barely stand it.

"You don't have to do anything." Blaine's voice became softer. "Marry her, Kurt. If that's what you should do, then marry her." Blaine's hand found Kurt's cheek and cupped it. Kurt brought his hand up and placed it over Blaine's, leaning into the touch.

"I don't wanna loose you." Kurt's voice came out as a broken whisper.

"I'm sorry, Kurt." Blaine sighed.

"No, I'll do anything!" Kurt said desperately. "I'll come out! I'll come out to my dad, I'll break up with Rachel. I don't care if I become homeless as long as I get to be with you!"

"Kurt, please." Blaine sighed and couldn't stop a tear from falling as he wiped Kurt's. "I'm sorry."

He pressed his lips against Kurt's one last time, just briefly. Then he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Blaine, please don't leave me." Kurt begged quietly and grabbed Blaine's hand.

"Goodbye, Kurt." Blaine said and started walking, he stopped and looked behind him once he lost his grip on Kurt. He felt his heart ache painfully at the sight of a heartbroken Kurt, so he turned his head and continued walking away from the meadow. _Their_ meadow.

* * *

Kurt didn't know what to do, his heart was aching so bad and he couldn't stop crying. His eyes were red and swollen, he felt as if he had just got beaten up by like ten people. He actually thought that ripping his heart out would hurt less than the feeling he felt in this moment. He was angry, he was sad, he was tired. He was sick of his life and sick of all the lies. He couldn't face Rachel right now, he didn't want to. Because she would see right through him like she always does and she would ask him what was wrong and he wouldn't have an answer.

He didn't know where to go. He had no one. No one who understod him, no one to talk to, no one to be honest with. He had only ever had Blaine. He didn't have Blaine anymore. And it hurt. It hurt so badly. He wanted to be with Blaine, he had actually developed feelings for him. He wanted Blaine to be the one he should marry, he wanted no one but Blaine right now. But Blaine had a boyfriend - Nolan - and Kurt was engaged.

He looked down at his hand which was gripping the steeringwheel in a painfully hard grip. His gaze trailed over his pale, long fingers until they reached the one with the engagement ring. He wanted to rip it off, throw it out the window or burn it. That ring was a reminder of the horrible life that was ahead of him and all the things he'd lost. It was also a reminder of his cheating, which made him even more sick. He didn't want it, he didn't want Rachel.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" Kurt heard himself say. He didn't even recognize his own voice. It was thick, broken and filled with emotion, sadness. It wasn't the high-pitched, happy voice he was so used to hearing.

Suddenly his phone buzzed in his pocket, he brought it out and looked at the screen. His dad was calling. He groaned, he didn't wanna pick up. He realized he had to so he pressed the green button and put it against his ear.

"Hello, dad?" He said. He didn't even try to make his voice sound different, it was useless.

"Kurt? Are you alright?" Burt asked through the phone.

"Fine." He sniffled and wiped his tears, even though his dad couldn't see him.

"You don't sound fine. Did something happen? Did you and Rachel have a fight?"

"No, dad. Everything in this world isn't about Rachel." Kurt snapped.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Burt sighed. "I was calling to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner? Carol wants to meet you."

"Carol?" Kurt echoed. Right, Carol. The woman his dad had been seeing for a couple of months now, he had been so busy with feeling guilty and Blaine and Rachel that he hadn't even given Carol as much as a second thought.

"You know, my… um… girlfriend." Burt cleared his throat.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Kurt sighed.

"Great, it's at five thirty." Burt said.

"Okay, I'll be there." Kurt said and hung up the phone.

He really didn't wanna go. He wasn't physically or mentally strong enough to go through this. He had just gotten his heart broken, by someone who wasn't Rachel. The sick feeling was back in his stomach, the one who made him want to shoot himself in the head. He hated himself, he hated the way he looked right now. He didn't dare to look in the mirror. He had already done that by accident about a week ago when he was in the bathroom. The reflection was horrible. He had purple bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess, he was paler than usual and his blue eyes were only half open. His skin was also a mess, he hadn't done his skin care routine in months. This was not the Kurt Hummel he used to know. Honestly, he didn't know who this Kurt was. But whoever he was, he didn't like him. Not one bit.

* * *

Carol was a nice woman. She was a really nice woman, and a really great cook. Her son, Finn, which Kurt had known most of his life seemed excited about being a part of their family, so that was good. His dad seemed so happy with her, which made Kurt happy. It had been 14 years since his dad had dated after all.

He had kept a strained smile on the entire dinner, he had been trying to talk as much as possible and eventually the hours had passed and he could head home. He was even more exhausted after being forced to keep up that act. And now he had to go home to Rachel, he almost laughed.

_Almost._

He was driving slowly, very slowly. Lots of cars shouted angrily behind him before they drove drove past him and some even gave him their middle finger. But Kurt couldn't bring himself to care. What did he have

left anyway? Nothing. He had nothing left. He was getting married in two weeks and he felt miserable. He had lost Blaine. He had lost everything, including himself in the process.

When he reached the parking lot he stopped the car. He looked up at their apartment on the seventh floor. His chest felt heavy as he thought he saw Rachel in the window, she was probably cooking while listening to music because she was dancing around. Kurt had to smile, she was so cute. Sometimes she just did little things that made her so loveable. His smile fell as he stepped out of the car and walked inside the large building, towards the elevators.

Once he got inside their apartment he took off his thin jacket and his shoes, he avoided the mirror and walked into the kitchen. Just like he guessed, Rachel was dancing while cooking. It smelled wonderful and music was bursting out of the radio. Kurt just stood in the doorway, watching her with a smile.

Suddenly she stopped her movements when she saw him, she blushed furiously and turned off the music.

"Oh my gosh, Kurt! I didn't see you standing there." Her face was tomato red.

"I know. You're really cute, you know that?" Kurt had to say.

"Really? You don't think I'm silly?" She bit her lip. She was only dressed in an oversize t-shirt that reached below her panties which had been visible while she was dancing around.

"No." Kurt giggled and embraced her in a tight hug, he inhaled her scent. The smell of perfume and shampoo hit him. It was nothing like Blaine, but he needed to get used to this, find comfort in this. And most importantly, he needed to stop thinking about Blaine.

"I made some chicken pot pie." She said once they had pulled away. "You like that, right?"

"I love it." Kurt nodded. "But I just had dinner at my dad's, he wanted me to meet his new girlfriend, Carol."

"Oh, that's okay. But what will I do with the rest? I made lots." She gestured at the giant pie.

"We can always eat the leftovers tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay." She leaned in for a kiss. Kurt swallowed thickly but kissed her back, just for a while before pulling away, his stomach aching painfully.

* * *

Once Rachel was done eating and Kurt had changed into sweatpants they sat down in the couch, watching a random movie. Rachel was snuggled up close to him under a blanket they shared. Kurt felt really uncomfortable with having her this close, more than anything he wanted to be alone. But he had to act like everything was okay if he wanted this to work.

Halfway through the movie Rachel had fallen asleep. Kurt's eyelids were heavy too and he just wanted to sleep, but he knew that he would probably wake up with a painful ache in his back if he stayed in this position. And he did not need that on top everything else.

"Rachel, sweetie." He whispered and shaked her slightly.

"Huh?" She mumbled and looked up at him.

"Should we go to the bedroom?" He asked. The words sounded strange to him.

"Yeah, okay." She smiled and got up from his lap. Kurt stood up too and followed her into their bedroom. They laid down in their bed and soon enough Rachel was snuggled up close to him again, sound asleep.

Kurt sighed deeply, he wanted to sleep on the couch, or on the street, just not here. Not next to Rachel. Not next to the woman he had cheated on. He felt the tears building in his eyes and his throat go tight as he started shaking. He didn't wanna cry, not again. But fuck it, he did. The tears escaped his eyes and traveled down his cheeks. He pushed his face down into his pillow, muffling his sobs.

The worst part was that he didn't even cry out of guilt, he cried out of heartache. He cried over _Blaine_. A guy he had known for a couple of months, but who he had fallen in love with in such a short amount of time. A guy who had been there for him when no one else was, a guy who had understod and a guy who were willing to put his heart on the line to let Kurt experiment. It made Kurt sick, he had probably broken Blaine's heart too.

Who did he think he was anyway?

Blaine is a person. A person with feelings. A person who obviously knew how this was going to end but a person who liked him enough to want to risk breaking his heart to get to be with Kurt until the very end. It was crazy, insane even. It wasn't something just anyone would do, because it was simply stupid.

But when Kurt thinks about it, he would have done it too. He would have done it a thousand times just to get to be with Blaine.

He didn't know for how long he cried, but his eyes were stinging and his throat aching, eventually he found himself asleep.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9: Total boyfriend-material

**A/N: First of all I just wanted to say that I can't believe that Cory is gone. It seems like a nightmare to me. I don't want to think of him as dead, more like "he took the midnight train going anywhere" or as "Lea's guardian angel". Rest in peace Cory, you are loved and missed.**

**As for this chapter it's gonna be more about Blaine and his feelings, thoughts and daily life. I thought it would be fun to see his side of it for once. But don't expect chapters like these because the story is mainly about Kurt and I'd like to keep it that way. This was just an exception. I hope you enjoy the chapter and make sure to Review Before you leave! :)**

**(by the way, I accidentally deleted chapter 8 so I re-posted it again. Gaah I'm so clumsy!)**

* * *

Chapter 9: Total boyfriend-material.

Blaine felt sort of numb. Like he had lost the ability to feel anything, besides his aching heart. Not even Nolan made anything better, and they had been going on several dates now and kissed many, many times. Kissing Nolan was nice, but it was nothing like kissing Kurt. Kissing Kurt was outstanding, it sent him to the moon and back, it made the world spin, it made him see fireworks.

And honestly, he hated that. He hated every bit of it. He shouldn't have fallen in love with Kurt, he shouldn't be feeling the things that he does for Kurt. He had known this from the start, that Kurt was getting married. But dammit, he had wanted him so badly. So many times.

Blaine remembered the first time Kurt had walked in to the shop. How handsome and beautiful he was. His pale skin, his defined jaws, his ocean blue eyes and his perfect hair. And oh god, those long, lean legs and his fine little ass. He was too perfect, Blaine had never seen anyone like him. Never in his life. And that's saying something because Blaine Anderson sees a lot of people everyday, he's working in a flowershop after all.

He felt ashamed of himself. Because he knew he had screwed things up, he had screwed Kurt up. Kurt would probably have found it a lot easier to marry Rachel if he hadn't added himself to the mix. If Kurt hadn't gotten feelings for him.

Kurt had feelings for him.

Kurt had offered to break up with Rachel, to come out to his dad, to live on the fucking street to be able to be with him. Blaine had wanted it, so badly. He could have seen himself marry Kurt, move into his apartment or a new one and just be happy together. And that's the scary part, he could actually imagine it. And he wanted it. But he couldn't have it. He could never do that to Kurt. It wasn't fair and he had already done enough damage in Kurt's life. He wasn't proud of that, not one bit.

* * *

"Hi babe." Nolan said and hugged him from behind, swaying from side to side. "You know I had a dream about you last night."

"Really?" Blaine said nervously and kind of wanted Nolan to let go but at the same time he kind of didn't want that.

"Mhmm." Nolan hummed. "It was rather nice. But a little embarrassing too."

"Okay, now you have to tell me." Blaine turned in his embrace so he was facing Nolan. Nolan didn't smell vanilla and mocha like Kurt, Nolan smelled really strongly of some perfume Blaine hadn't smelt before.

Nolan blushed. "I dreamed that it started snowing so badly, it was like 20 feet snow outside! It was a disaster, but then you walked out of your house. You know what happened? The snow melted because you were so hot."

Blaine rolled his eyes but blushed slightly. "Sap."

"What? I can't control my dreams!" Nolan chuckled and pressed his lips to Blaine's in a sweet, light kiss.

"You're ridiculous." Blaine smiled. "Speaking of hot, do you want to go get a smoothie or something? I'm dying here."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go." Nolan smiled and grabbed Blaine's hand, walking out of his house, towards his car.

Once they had gotten their smoothies they decided to sit outside and just enjoy the sunny day. Nolan was wearing a tank top which showed off his muscles really well, his hair was messy and black sunglasses covered his eyes. Yeah, Nolan was really attractive. But he wasn't pale, he didn't have ocean blue eyes, he didn't have perfectly coiffed hair, he didn't smell like mocha and he wasn't really beautiful.

"Blaine, I'm really happy you agreed on going out with me." Nolan said and smiled at him, flashing his straight, perfectly white teeth.

"I'm glad I said yes." Blaine said. It wasn't truly a lie, he liked spending time with Nolan, but he didn't know if it was any feelings involved yet.

"So," Nolan began. "Are we officially a thing now or..?"

Blaine looked at him, he swallowed thickly. No, they weren't. Because Nolan wasn't… he wasn't Kurt. And he wasn't what Blaine wanted. "Yeah, we are."

Why did he say that?

Nolan grinned. "Cool, boyfriend." He winked.

Blaine felt a weird feeling appear in his belly. "Awesome."

* * *

Kurt was walking down the street, he was just out for a walk by himself. Trying to get his shit together, basically.

Suddenly he stopped, because he saw something that made his stomach twist, his heart ache and his eyes widen.

Blaine was sitting at a café with a guy, probably Nolan, and they were talking. They were smiling. They looked happy.

Kurt felt tears appear in his eyes and his throat go tight. He put a hand over his mouth to choke down his sobs as he turned around and ran away, more heartbroken than ever.

* * *

"So, boyfriend, what do you wanna do now?" Nolan grinned as they walked hand in hand down the street.

"You know you don't have to call me 'boyfriend' all the time, right?" Blaine sighed.

"I know, but I want to. And I like to. And I will." Nolan said and kissed his cheek. "Because you are cute and you are mine."

"Great." Blaine mumbled under his breath. "I'm just gonna go into the flowershop to get the keys to my house, I forgot them inside."

"Okay." Nolan said and kissed him on the lips. "See you soon, boyfriend."

Blaine rolled his eyes and then walked into the flowershop. His uncle stood by the desk, his eyes already on Blaine.

"Why are you looking like I just shot someone?" Blaine asked as he bent over to get his keys from under the desk.

"Because I didn't know you'd move on so fast." Andrew said truthfully.

"Well, I did. Like I said, Kurt and I are over. It was nothing." Blaine felt his heart throb painfully at the words.

"I didn't know you liked Nolan? Didn't he ask you out in like 8th grade but you said no?"

"That was in 8th grade. If you excuse me, Nolan and I are gonna continue our date." Blaine smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

His uncle gave him a pitying look and sighed. "I know he isn't Kurt, Blaine. But he might end up being just as good if you give him an honest chance, yeah?"

"I am giving him an honest chance. And yeah, he's awesome. Total boyfriend-material." Blaine gave Andrew another strained smile.

"Boyfriend, are you coming? Nolan asked as he peeked his head into the flowershop.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." Blaine sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Have fun." Andrew said.

Blaine just waved goodbye and then left along with Nolan.

Kurt didn't know where to go, so he of course drove to their meadow. Or his meadow or whatever it was at the moment. He parked his car and threw himself in the grass, curling himself into a ball and just cried. He had no idea it could hurt this badly, that he could feel like this. He hadn't known Blaine for that long, how could he be so sad over this? He didn't understand his own heart and mind.

His phone suddenly beeped, he had gotten a text from Rachel. He whimpered and sat back up, wiping his tears so he could read the text.

_Hi baby, where are you? We have dinner reservations, remember? Please come home soon so we can fix matching outfits. Love you! - Rachel._

Kurt choked on his own sobs and found it hard to breathe. Today was their 3rd month anniversary and they had dinner reservations. Kurt wrote a quick reply.

_I'll be home in a few minutes. Love you too. - Kurt._

He then fell onto the grass again and cried until his eyes burned with tears, until he had no tears left. He hated Blaine for moving on so quickly, for looking so happy with another guy. He hated everything.

* * *

"Today has been fun." Nolan said with another grin.

"Yeah, I guess it has." Blaine agreed and smiled a little.

"Are you sure? You've been sort of distant, if I can be honest."

"No, I'm just a little tired. I've been working so hard lately." Blaine lied.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I can't, I have to work."

"I can help you?"

"Nolan, you really don't have to-"

"I want to. See you tomorrow at 9!"

"Work starts at 8-"

"9, boyfriend." Nolan winked and then walked away.

Blaine then walked inside his house and slammed the door shut. He felt sick, sick with himself and sick with his life. He kicked off his shoes and threw himself on the bed, finally letting the tears fall.

* * *

Blaine looked himself in the mirror the next day, his eyes widened at the sight. He had purple bags underneath his tired eyes, his hair was a mess, he looked pale and just _not good_. He sighed deeply and reached for his toothbrush, today he was going to work with his boyfriend, Nolan. He should be looking forward to this, he really should. That's why he hates himself for not doing so.

He spit the toothpaste out and then hurried to get dressed. He was already gonna be late for work since he accidentally slept in. He threw himself in the car and drove as fast as he could to the flowershop, usually he would walk there, it only took 20 minutes and Blaine loved a good morning walk after breakfast.

Once he reached the flowershop he saw that Nolan already stood outside, waiting, resting with his back against the big glass window. Blaine sighed and walked out of the car.

"Blaine!" Nolan said as his face broke into a smile.

"Hi, Nolan." Blaine said and faked a smile. "I didn't think you were gonna be here until 9?"

"It is 9, you're late." Nolan breathed against his lips, he had gotten awfully close in such a short amount of time.

"I know, I slept in. Sorry." Blaine mumbled and tried to unlock the door, which was difficult with Nolan blocking his way.

"Mhm." Nolan hummed and pressed his lips against Blaine's. Blaine winced a little and pulled away, unlocking the door and stepping inside, away from Nolan.

"What's up with you?" Nolan raised both eyebrows and stalked him into the flowershop.

"I'm not in the mood, okay? I got very little sleep and I just… Can we just get to work?" Blaine snapped.

"Okay, jeez, I'm sorry." Nolan raised his hands in surrender. "So, what should I do?"

"It's time to water the flowers. You can do that. The cans are over there." Blaine pointed at a locker above a zink.

"Yes, master." Nolan smirked and Blaine choked on his own spit.

"Y-You can't say things like that." Blaine said once he had calmed down.

"Oh, why not?" Nolan asked as he filled a can with water.

"Because… because I- we don't do that-" Blaine stuttered.

"Hey." Nolan interrupted and returned with the water-filled can. "If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll stop. Alright?"

"Thank you." Blaine sighed and walked over around the desk to see if he had any delivers today.

He realized he had two different orders that was due today. He smiled a little, flowers made him happy, hard work made him happy. The first one was a wedding bouquet, his smile fell. It made him think of Kurt. He shaked his head and snapped out of it, he could not start crying right now.

He walked over and started picking out different flowers that went really well together, it would be a perfect bouquet, he decided.

_BOOM!_

_SPLASH!_

"Fucking shit!" Nolan swore loudly.

Blaine looked at his left and saw Nolan stand in a large puddle of water, the can was lying on the floor next to him.

"What are you doing?" Blaine sighed and rubbed his temples, he was not in the mood for mistakes today.

"I was gonna water the flower but the can was heavy and the flowers were so far up that I dropped it and… well…" He blushed out of embarrassment.

"You do not water those flowers with the can, there is a water hose over there, it's way easier to reach."

"Then why can't I just water all the flowers with the hose?" Nolan scratched his hair.

"Because it's a very high power and it will kill the flowers down here, I put the flowers that can deal with the pressure up there." Blaine pointed at the flowers on the high shelf. "And the ones that can't down here, so that you can do it with the can do it with the can."

"Ohhh." Nolan nodded. "I see, sorry, Blaine. I'll clean up the mess."

"Thanks." Blaine sighed once again. He felt that he's gonna spend the entire day sighing so he won't worry about getting too little oxygen.

Blaine wondered, as the day kept going and as Nolan kept messing up more, if this day could get any worse. It was already really bad and if it were to get worse, he would hit rock bottom. His heart was aching, he felt constantly sick, he felt angry and he felt tired. And he had this strange urge to punch Nolan in the face everytime he gave him that nasty smile and wink.

It was so strange how Nolan suddenly disgusted Blaine so much, they had been best friends his whole life and now he wondered if he would ever look at Nolan that way again.

And then suddenly it gets worse, because Kurt walks through the door.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10: Let's get married

**A/N: Okay so just because I'm nice (and because I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I'll be gone for 3 weeks) I'm uploading another chapter. DO KNOW that I did some research on jewish weddings but I didn't ****find much and the things I read was sort of confusing. So I apologize if something isn't right, I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way.**

**I hope you enjoy it :)**

* * *

Chapter 10: Let's get married

"K-Kurt." Blaine breathed with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?"

It was ridicilous how Kurt managed to take his breath away everytime he saw him. Not only with his very fit and lean body, but with his outfits. Today he was wearing gray pants which was illegally tight. He wore them with a blue button down shirt which was tucked into the pants. He was also wearing a cute scarf and white knee-high boots.

Blaine wasn't the one to judge, but his whole outfit screamed _gay_. He wondered if Rachel had ever been suspicious, if anyone had. They must have, or else they were blind. Or afraid to face the truth.

Kurt twisted awkwardly in the door, looking around him. His eyes fell on Nolan for a few minutes and Blaine felt his entire stomach twist, Kurt seemed to grit his teeth together as he looked back at Blaine, one or two shades paler.

"I'm here to pick up the wedding bouquet. I realized it must have been done for a while now." He said.

"Oh, yeah, right. It's done. Give me a sec, I'm gonna go get it." Blaine felt stupid as he turned around and went for the flowers. What had he expected anyway?

Once Blaine was out of sight Kurt turned to Nolan. He traced his eyes from his toes, all the way up to that ridiculous hair, that was ridiculously thick. Kurt gave him his coldest bitch-glare, he decided this must be Nolan. Kurt did not like Nolan. Not one bit.

"So, you are Nolan? Am I right?" Kurt asked, there was a bit too much edge to his voice.

"Um, yeah." Nolan said and waved sarcastically. "And you are?"

"Oh, I'm nobody." Kurt said and gave him a faked smile. "I'm just a nobody, here to get some flowers for my soon-to-be wife."

"Soon-to-be wife?" Nolan's ridiculously cute eyes nearly popped out of his head. "You're getting married to a woman? Daaaamn, I thought I had gay-dar."

"Excuse me?" Kurt said and put a hand on his hip, obviously offended. "Are you trying to tell me I look gay?"

"Uh, yeah." Nolan said and made a gesture to his outfit. "I mean, come on. Your whole outfit screams homo and so does your hair."

"You're a fucking asshole. And that sounded awfully homophobic for someone who's supposed to be a homo himself." Kurt narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"Okay. One, how did you know I was gay? And two, I'm no homophobe. It would not make sense."

"Please. It's not rocket science." Kurt snapped.

"Here are your flowers." Blaine suddenly interrupted.

Kurt turned his head and looked at him, he was holding a bouquet. It was large, colorful and it smelled like heaven itself. Kurt felt his eyes tear up, Blaine had obviously put a lot of work into this. Fuck, he was crying over fucking flowers.

"Dude, are you crying?" Nolan asked with wide eyes.

"No, I'm not." Kurt said and wiped his eyes quickly before accepting the bouquet. "It's perfect. Thank you."

"No problems. I hope Rachel likes it too." Blaine smiled a little.

"I know she will." Kurt said and somehow stayed still on his spot, making the whole situation that much more awkward.

The tension between them was obvious and Kurt knew that he needed to get the hell out of there before he or Blaine did something very stupid.

"I should go. Bye, Blaine." Kurt said and then walked out of the flowershop.

He sat down in his car and put the flowers in the backseat. He then picked out his phone and looked at the screen. He bit his lip. Should he? He shouldn't. But he had to. He wanted to. Fuck it, he's doing this.

_Hi, Blaine. Meet me at Pure Imagination around 5 pm? Please, I promise nothing will happen. I just want to talk one last time before I get married. -K_

_Don't make promises you can't keep. -B_

_But those are the best kind. -K_

_Did you really just quote spider-man? Besides, something tells me I should say no. I broke it off for a reason, remember? I can't do this anymore. -B_

_I know. I know. But I just want to have one last moment alone with you that doesn't end with a stupid fight. -K_

_Fine. I'll be there. -B_

* * *

"You look exhausted, again." Blaine sighed and ran his hand through Kurt's damp hair. "And not because of what we just did."

Kurt groaned and let his head rest on Blaine's stomach. "I am, god, I am so nervous because of the damn wedding. I haven't slept in weeks."

"I'm sorry you have to go through this, Kurt." Blaine mumbled and kissed the top of his head. "But you know my opinion on this."

"That I don't have to do this, I know." Kurt sat back up and looked Blaine in the eyes. "But I kind of do. I need to make my dad proud."

"I'm sure he would be just as proud of you for being honest about who you are."

"No. Look, when my mom died, my dad had to take care of me by himself. I was driving him nuts because I wanted to wear heels and mom's pearls, I wanted dolls instead of action figures. I was teased, I was bullied and my dad was exhausted. Then later on, I didn't get a job, I never moved out and I couldn't find a girlfriend until now. I have done nothing but disappointing him.

"And coming out as gay on top of all of that? And breaking off the wedding? Oh god, I don't even want to imagine it. It would be the biggest scandal in our family, ever. It would be all over the newspapers and everyone would know about it. No one would look at us the same again. I can't do that to him, I just can't."

"You think I would be a disappointment to your family?" Blaine asked softly, trying to cover the hurt in his voice.

"No, of course not." Kurt said and put his hand over Blaine's. "This has nothing to do with you, it's being gay that's the problem."

Blaine looked a little uneasy and pulled his hand away from Kurt's.

"If the world wasn't as small-minded, if they could see you for who you really are, they would be so proud. They would adore me for choosing someone like you, they would love you and see nothing but the pure, honest, kind-hearted, flower-obsessed man you are." Kurt smiled.

Blaine beamed at him and looked at him through his eyelashes, a small blush creeping up his cheeks.

"But the world isn't like that. It's small-minded, people wouldn't understand. They would think there was something wrong with us, that we weren't normal and that I should be ashamed for marrying you." Kurt's smile fell.

"Then maybe we could prove them wrong. Prove to them that we are normal and that we can do the same things as any straight couple could, that we are just as good." Blaine said and entwined their fingers again, their skins heating up by the touch.

"I want to, Blaine. I do. But you know I can't." Kurt sighed and pressed his lips against Blaine's, moving slowly, before pulling away.

"Damn it. Why do I always agree on coming here with you? We both knows this is gonna happen and shit- I just cheated on Nolan." Blaine sighed and covered his face in his hands, shaking his head.

"Hey, it's fine. He doesn't need to know-" Kurt began but got cut off.

"Yes, he does, Kurt. I'm not like you. I don't cheat because I need to experiment, I have every right to date whoever I want. So, I chose Nolan, and now I chose to cheat on him. It's not okay."

"You seriously think this is just experimenting for me? Still?" Kurt looked displeased.

"I don't… no. No, I guess not." Blaine rubbed his temples. "But that doesn't change what I did. I- I have to go. I bet he's wondering where I am."

"Hey, I'm sorry." Kurt said and looked really sad. "I honestly didn't mean for this to happen when I asked you here. I didn't text you for sex."

"I know you didn't." Blaine said and smiled a little. "But we still did it. Have sex, I mean." Just then his phone started ringing.

"Speaking of the devil." He sighed and pressed the green button. "Nolan. No, I'm just… uh, I had to go get a thing for the flowers, yes- no, yes I'll be back in a second… You did what?! I told you not to- is there? Oh god, okay. Yes, I'll be back in a few. Bye."

"What did he do?" Kurt asked, eyes wide.

"Some man called and wanted to make an order, so he went behind my desk to get a pen so he could write it down. And he found the jar with worms which we keep for some of the flowers, he got scared and dropped them on the floor. So there are worms all over the place now. And he doesn't dare to pick them up. He thinks they are gross." Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Oh god. How is it possible for a person to be that stupid?" Kurt shaked his head.

"I don't think we have the right to call anyone stupid right now. Our lives is quite a mess." Blaine said and stared get dressed.

Kurt's smile fell. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I have to get back. Your wedding is tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, yeah it is." Kurt sighed.

"Well, good luck." Blaine forced a smile and squeezed his hand.

"Thanks." Kurt looked uneasy.

"Are you gonna leave now too?" Blaine asked.

"No, I think I'm gonna just lay here for a little while longer." Kurt said and laid back down.

"Okay, just don't stay until it gets too dark."

"Yeah, yeah. See you around." Kurt waved.

"Probably not." Blaine raised his eyebrows.

"What?" Kurt sat back up. "Seriously? You're shutting me out again."

"Kurt. You're getting married. I told you before, I can't see you like that with Rachel. That hasn't changed."

"Right. Well, goodbye then, Blaine."

"Goodbye, Kurt."

* * *

"Oh my gosh, can you believe it?" Rachel squealed as she was lying next to him in bed that night. "We're getting married tomorrow!"

"Yeah… no, I can't. It feels surreal." Kurt stared at the cealing, feeling numb. And very sore from what he and Blaine had done earlier.

Rachel turned so she was lying on her left side, facing him. "You don't seem too excited about this." She frowned.

"No. I mean, I am."

"Kurt, if you think we're rushing things then you're gonna have to tell me. I don't want to push you into something that you're not ready for."

"We're not rushing anything. I'm fine with getting married tomorrow. Okay?" He lied.

"If you are sure." She was still frowning so Kurt kissed her forehead.

"I am." He smiled.

"Okay, good."

* * *

The next morning Kurt woke up he felt exhausted, very sore and most of all: anxious. He was so damn nervous and when he realized that Rachel was already awake, looking at him with those damn hearteyes and the loving smile he felt sick to his stomach. Today he was gonna commit his life to this woman next to him.

"Goodmorning gorgeous." She whispered and kissed his nose.

"Goodmorning." He forced out. He felt his throat go tight the second he opened his mouth.

"I have to leave already, I'm so sorry. The girls are picking me up, they're gonna help me get ready." She explained.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine. Go." He said and made a gesture for her to leave.

She giggled and bent over to kiss him on the mouth. "See you at the altar."

Truth to be told, Rachel was lying. She didn't really have to leave just yet, but she had plans on driving down to the flowershop. She wanted to ask Blaine to come to the wedding since she knew how much it would mean to Kurt if he did. And she knew it would probably take some time to convince him to come to one of his costumers wedding, so she decided it was for the best to be there right after it opened.

* * *

"How are you holding up?" Kurt turned looked at his dad through the mirror. They were both dressed in black suits, but Kurt's tie was matching the color of the details in Rachel's wedding dress.

"I'm doing okay." Kurt turned around. "Just a little nervous."

"A little? You look like you're about to throw up." Sam commented as he walked into the changing room.

It was true. He was sweating, his head was spinning and he was pretty sure he was gonna throw up any second. But he kept it together, he had to. Because in a few minutes he was gonna be Rachel's husband.

"No, I'm good." Kurt gave them a strained smile. "Is it time to go?"

"It is." Finn said and appeared in the doorway. "Come on now, little brother, let's get you married."

"Yeah, let's do this." Kurt said and linked arms with Finn.

They followed a hallway until they reached the entrance to the synagogue they were getting married in. Yes, Kurt was fine with getting married in a synagogue, Rachel was jewish and it seemed really important to her so of course he agreed. Kurt was an atheist so it's not like it was a big deal or anything.

Finn let go of his arm and gave him a reassuring smile. Kurt stood by the port, waiting for Rachel. They had agreed on walking in together, holding hands. Once she appeared next to him, Kurt's jaw literally dropped, she was so insanely beautiful. Her dress was shaped after her body with a very long train and small, pink details. Her hair was in a high, wavy ponytail and she held the flowers Blaine had made for them.

_Blaine._

No. Kurt shaked his head and focused on how incredibly happy Rachel looked.

"Oh my gosh, you look so beautiful." He breathed. It was true. He was speechless.

"And you look so handsome." She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Are you ready for this?"

_No, please don't make me do this._

"Yeah, let's get married." Kurt smiled and opened the porch.

Just as he did, music started playing and everyone got up from the benches they were sitting on. Kurt looked over at their family members, they were all smiling or crying or both. He only wished he could be just as happy as they all seemed to be.

A photographer took pictures, Kurt assumed it was for the newspapers.

After that the rabbi said the seven blessings, they exchanged rings, crushed the glass and finally kissed. Not particularly in that order.

They were married. They turned around and ran towards the porch, hand in hand, laughing and crying. Their families ran after them, also laughing and crying.

They walked over to the hall they had hired, in which the party would be hold. In there was food, drinks, music, dancing and everything in between.

They recieved hugs, kisses and kind words from everyone. Kurt felt like this wasn't really happening, like he was on the outside looking in. Like he wasn't the person in this position, he was somebody else, watching himself.

"So, how do you feel, bro?" Puck asked and punched him lightly in the arm. "All married and stuff."

It was weird seeing Puck in a suit. He was usually all _rock n' roll _and _badass _in every other case, and that mohawk…

"I don't feel too different, to be honest." Kurt shrugged and tried to smile.

"Well, now it's you and her against forever." Finn said with a nod.

"Yeah, I know." Kurt felt his stomach twist at the thought but tried not to focus on it too much.

"Hey, who's that dude over there? I've never seen him before." Sam said and pointed at someone behind Kurt.

Kurt turned his head and searched through all the people until his gaze fell on the one person Sam must be talking about. The shorter guy, the one with the thick, gelled hair, the one with hazel eyes. The one that made his heart go crazy, his knees go weak and his stomach to fill with butterflies. The one who could make the entire world freeze by just looking into your eyes.

"Blaine." Kurt breathed.

"Blaine?" Sam echoed. "I take it as you know this guy?"

"Yeah, he's the one who made our flowers." Kurt said but seemed very distracted. "What is he doing here?"

"You're asking _me_ that?" Sam asked.

"No, I gotta go talk to him." Kurt got up from his chair and pushed himself forward through the crowd until he was face to face with Blaine.

Blaine seemed pretty distracted, as if he was looking for someone. Eventually he looked straight ahead and saw Kurt stand there. His eyes widened and Kurt saw his breath hitch in his throat.

"K-Kurt." He stuttered.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, as if it was a crime.

"I… Rachel asked me to come." Blaine looked down at his feet.

"Rachel did?! Why would she do that?"

"I don't know?" Blaine shrugged. "She thought it would mean a lot to you if I did- look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."

"Damn right you shouldn't have." Kurt snapped and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Please, don't be mad-" Blaine looked up and got cut off.

"Don't be mad?! Are you kidding me? You wanted to shut me out of your life, Blaine. You _did _shut me out of your life, because you said you couldn't stand seeing me with _her._ And just when I think I'm never gonna see your face again, if I don't look through the glass windows of your damn flowershop, you show up at my wedding! How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I'm sorry." Blaine chewed on his lip. "I knew it was a mistake. But she literally begged me and I thought that maybe you had asked her to ask me…"

"Why would I do that?" Kurt's voice was suddenly softer. "I don't wanna torture you."

"Oh, Blaine! You showed up!" Rachel appeared next to Kurt. "I'm so happy you could make it. It means so much to the both of us."

Kurt saw Blaine flinch when Rachel pressed a kiss to his lips. He saw him force on a smile and suddenly his eyes seemed very shiny.

"Yeah…" He mumbled. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Rachel smiled.

"Rachel, dear!" An old lady, Rachel's grandmother, said and walked up to them. "Can you come over here and introduce me to your friends?"

"Of course, grandma." Rachel smiled. "Well, excuse me." She said and followed her grandmother.

"I'm sorry." Kurt rubbed his temples.

"Don't apologize." Blaine gave him a watery smile as he wiped his tears.

"I hate seeing you like this." Kurt frowned and felt like crying himself. He cupped Blaine's face in his hands, wiping the tears.

"Kurt, I have to go." Blaine said and put his hands over Kurt's, removing them from his face.

"Please don't. I don't want you to leave, not now." Kurt whispered.

"I can't stay. Goodbye, my almost lover." Blaine kissed his hand and then disappeared in the crowd.

Kurt froze at the same time as he felt hotter than ever and his heart was beating in a rapid pace. It was funny, for a second it had only been Blaine. Only him and Blaine. And now when Blaine wasn't there Kurt felt so alone. He felt like the lonliest man on the planet in this crowd, with the words echoing in his mind:

_Almost lover._

TBC


	11. Chapter 11: This night

Chapter 11: This night.

The partying went on until way after midnight. Kurt found himself holding his 7th beer for the night. He had felt the need to drink to get the edge off after Blaine left, and after that he realized that another wouldn't hurt. Then another… and another.

Well, yeah. He was drunk.

And tired.

All he wanted to do was go home and sleep and never wake up again. Or maybe, if he woke up and his life had just been a bad dream. He was in reality married to someone like Blaine and everyone was fine with that.

_Blaine._

He swallowed thickly and looked around the room. Everyone had almost gone home and he knew that soon Rachel would come over and ask him if they could too. Of course Kurt would say yes, he's exhausted. But he knew what was waiting once they got home. They were gonna have sex for the first time.

He really, really didn't want to. But he couldn't make Rachel feel like he didn't want her either, so he swallowed down the last of his beer and walked over to her, more like _stumbling._

"R-Rach." He hiccuped. "How 'bout we go home an' get our sexy time on." He slurred out the words, his eyes unfocused.

_What the fuck was that?_

She turned her head and looked at him. She giggled a little, she wasn't half as drunk as he was. "You're wasted, honey." She stated.

"Nuh-uh." Kurt shaked his head in protest. That was a bad idea because it made him dizzy and he almost fell. "Whoops."

"Sweetie." She whispered in his ear. "If you really want to we can go home."

He nodded a little and grabbed her hand. They said goodbye to everyone and then they sat down in the car. Sam was driving.

"So, I bet you two are gonna fuck the shit out of eachother tonight, huh? Am I right?" He smirked.

"Sam!" She shaked her head and blushed. "Stop."

"What? That's what me and my girlfriend will do, we have a deal." He said honestly.

"Sam." Kurt slurred. "S-Shut the f' up. 'Lright?"

"Holy shit, Kurt. How much did you have?" Sam laughed.

"Just a b-beer or two." Kurt hiccuped again.

Sam shaked his head knowingly but kept quiet for the rest of the drive. Eventually they were at their house, so Rachel thanked Sam for the ride and helped Kurt up the stairs to get into their house. Once they were inside she pressed her lips against his.

Everything was so blurry that Kurt didn't really know what was going on first, then he realized Rachel was kissing him and trying to get his clothes off, so he started kissing back.

Her hands was roaming all over his chest, unbuttoning his buttons and throwing off his blazer.

"Good god, Kurt. You're so hot." She whispered against his lips as her hands touched his bare chest for the first time.

He murmured something and tried to get her dress off, but it was a lot harder when he could barely see anything.

But since Kurt was used to have quite the complicated layers on himself, he eventually got her dress off and she stepped out of it. She was wearing white lace panties and bra. She let her hair out from the ponytail and let it fall over her shoulders. If Kurt hadn't been so drunk he would've probably said that she was beautiful or hot or something. But now all he did was blink slowly and stare.

His face broke into a dopey grin and he chuckled a little, pressing their lips together again. He pretended it was Blaine, because he liked kissing Blaine. He tried to imagine Blaine's muscular arms, his toned chest and broad shoulders. Instead of Rachel's lean, skinny, small body beneath his hands.

When her lips got attached to his neck he pretended it was Blaine's lips, trying to get that familiar feeling of Blaine sucking the skin on his neck. He did the same thing when she touched him through his boxers, the thoughts of Blaine plus the alcohol had made him semi-hard, so she grinned a little and looked at him, her eyes dark with lust. Again, if Kurt hadn't been drunk he would've felt guilty about the fact that fantasies of another _man_ made him hard instead of his wife.

She brought his hands up to cup her boobs through her bra, it was a strange feeling. It wasn't flat and toned like Blaine's chest, now he was holding two… boobs. He felt awkward because he had no idea what to do with them or what would make her feel good, so he decided to experiment. He squeezed lightly and when he heard Rachel moan he thought he must be doing something right so he did it again.

Soon enough they were both naked and in the process they had somehow made it to their bedroom and was now lying in their bed, Rachel on top of Kurt. Kurt did everything he could to imagine Blaine and at the same time focus on Rachel, but it was very difficult.

"Kurt, please…" She whined and rubbed herself against his now fully hard dick. He winced when he felt something wet come from her private parts, her slick folds rubbing against him. It felt weird and he didn't enjoy it much.

He sat up and grabbed her hips, helping her to sink down on his dick. She moaned and breathed heavily, a few curse words leaving her mouth. He sat still to let her adjust, he looked at her face through his blurry vision. Her face was flushed, her hair a mess and she was sweating. But she was still beautiful, he had to admit that. She was always beautiful, no matter what she was doing.

"I- you can start moving." She said after a while.

Kurt nodded and started thrusting in and out of her, as fast and as hard as he could. She met his thrusts and she was moaning like crazy. But her moans didn't turn him on or make him go crazy like Blaine's, her vagina wasn't as tight as Blaine's asshole-

_Kurt, get a fucking grip._

He pretended that it was Blaine he was thrusting into, that it was all Blaine. Eventually her breathing became faster and she dug her nails into his skin and she couldn't meet his thrusts anymore.

"Oh, oh… Kuuuuuuuurt!" She screamed as she came. She threw her head back and Kurt thanked god that it was over. Once she was back on earth he pulled out of her and she fell down on top of him, cuddling close.

He passed out at once, exhausted from everything. And from the alcohol of course.

* * *

Kurt opened his eyes the next morning, feeling like he couldn't breathe. He looked around him and realized that Rachel was sleeping on top of him which made it hard for him to breathe. He lightly pushed her off him, making sure she didn't wake up.

His head was pounding and he felt so damn sick. All the memories from the night before hit him like a brick wall. All the things he had been thinking about to even be able to be hard for her, how he didn't compliment her, how he didn't scream her name, how he didn't come at all for that matter. He felt terrible. He felt sick with himself.

His stomach literally flipped upside down.

He got up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, barely managing to close the door before he threw up in the toilet. And he just kept on throwing up, it never ended. He was pretty sure he was gonna die from lack of oxygen if he didn't stop soon. Nothing came up anymore, but he kept on gagging.

Eventually it stopped and he sat down, resting his head against the cool wall. He was sweating, his head hurt even more now. And he still felt sick with himself. He didn't even wanna look in the mirror, because he knew he would probably throw up again if he did. He wondered if he would ever forgive himself for this.

No, he wouldn't. Not ever.

He felt weak, he felt sick, he felt tired. He just wanted to die. Honestly, dying would be a lot easier.

He forced himself up from the floor, avoiding his reflection in the mirror as he walked back into their bedroom. Rachel was still asleep, looking all happy and peaceful. As usual.

Kurt swallowed thickly and didn't know what to do. Should he wake her up? He probably should. He bent over the bed and poked her arm slightly, like he had some sort of disease and he was afraid she would get infected if he touched her.

She turned and whined a little before opening her eyes. Once she saw him her face broke into a huge, happy, honest smile. Her eyes was fucking sparkling with joy.

"Goodmorning, baby." She said.

"Goodmorning." He said and smiled sadly.

"Kurt, I didn't get a chance to tell you yesterday. But it was perfect, you were perfect. It was so worth the wait." She said seriously.

Kurt felt like crying. Tears were literally stinging his eyes and it took all of his willpower not to cry.

"Yeah, me too." He choked out.

"Baby, are you okay?" She frowned.

He looked at her and tried to swallow down his tears but this time it didn't work. Because he had hit rock bottom. He couldn't deal with any of this, not anymore. He didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve Blaine, he didn't deserve anything. He didn't even deserve to die if he wanted to, he deserved to live with this. Live with his misery and guilt.

But at this point he kind of wanted to die.

Kurt just ran. He just turned away from her and ran. He didn't care that he was only in his pyjama pants and fucking shirtless. He didn't care that his hair was a mess, that he looked like shit, that he was fucking barefoot. He didn't care that people was looking at him as if he was fucking insane.

Oh, wait. He is.

He ran as fast as he could, tears streaming down his face. The cars on the road almost crashed into him and they hit the horn as hard as they could, yelling at him. But he didn't care.

He was getting tired, he needed to stop, he wanted to rest. But his legs didn't listen.

Eventually he reached the house, he almost tripped over the doorstep and threw himself against the door, ringing on the doorbell.

"Kurt, are you-"

As soon as the door opened Kurt literally fell into his dad's arms. He hugged him as close as he could and cried hysterically into his shoulder. Half-screaming unclear, muffled sentences like "I can't do this anymore." and "I wanna die."

All his dad could do was to hug him back, not asking any questions, just hugging him tightly. Whispering in his ear that everything would be okay, that he promised that everything would be okay.

Eventually after god knows how long, Kurt calmed down and pulled away from his dad's embrace. He wiped his swollen, red and stinging eyes.

"I- I'm sorry." He whispered and looked at his dad.

His dad just looked at him, shaking his head in disbelief and worry. He didn't even recognize his son anymore. Now, without a shirt on, he could truly see how skinny he had gotten. His eyes had transformed from a happy, sparkling, ocean blue color to a sad, tired, gray one. He was a lot paler than usual and he had dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked a wreck, like a total miserable wreck.

He made a gesture for him to follow him to the livingroom, they both sat down in the couch. Carol wasn't there at the moment, so it was just the two of them.

"What happened?" His dad asked.

Kurt looked at him. It was the question he couldn't answer. The question he feared most of them all. Because if he told the truth… he didn't even dare to think of what would happen.

"I can't say." Kurt's voice came out as a broken whisper. His heart felt heavy.

"Kurt." His dad said firmly and leaned forward. "You can tell me anything, you know that. We have a deal, remember? To always be honest with eachother."

Kurt chuckled, but it was humorless. "Yeah, that's the last thing I've been." Kurt shaked his head, disgusted with himself once again.

"Dad, I lied to everyone. To myself, to you, to Rachel, to everybody. I'm an asshole, I'm a coward, I'm a freak. I'm a disgusting liar."

"Don't call yourself such things." His dad said. "You're neither of them. Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true!" Kurt yelled, getting frustrated.

"Why is that true, then?"

Kurt chewed on the inside of his cheek. He narrowed his eyes and swallowed. He somehow felt brave. "Because I'm…"

"You're…?" His dad echoed when Kurt became quiet.

"Dad, I want to tell you so badly. But if I do everything will change." Kurt said, tears building in his eyes again. "You might hate me, I will lose Rachel and nothing will ever go back to normal again."

His dad frowned. "Tell me, Kurt. And for the record, nothing you will say is gonna make me hate you. Okay? You're my son, I could never hate you."

"You don't understand…"

"Then help me understand."

Kurt inhaled and exhaled. "I… I'm gay."

There. He said it. He finally admitted it. He said the two words he had kept on running from his entire life. It was like the entire world got lifted off of his shoulders, he felt… free. No matter what his dad would say about this he had been honest, he had admitted the truth.

His dad looked at him with the exact same face expression he had had earlier, besides now the frown was gone and he had raised his eyebrows.

"You're gay?" He asked.

"Yes." Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I wanted to, but then mom died and you found me girlfriends, and I didn't want to disappoint you more. I was afraid, dad. I was so scared but I just can't do it anymore. I can't do this to Rachel. I know I shouldn't have gone through with the wedding but I honestly thought that I would be able to live with this and make her happy. But today I realized that I can't. I can't do it, dad. I can't."

He was crying again at this point and it hurt as fuck, his eyes were stinging like a bitch. But he deserved it. He deserved it all.

He almost flinched when he felt his dad's hand on his knee. He met his eyes and they reflected three things: love, sadness and understanding.

"Okay." His dad said and nodded. "So you're gay. I get why you didn't tell me, but you should have. Things would have been different, now you're gonna have to hurt a lot of people. Was it really worth it?"

"No." Kurt said and shaked his head. "Rachel didn't deserve this."

"No, she didn't." His dad agreed. "I don't know how you're going to explain this to her. But I believe that you can."

"Wait, you're not freaking out? You're not disgusted with me?"

"Kurt. I know that homosexuality is something that you're born with, it's not a choice. And I do not find it disgusting. We don't live in the 1950's anymore, thing are different now."

"Oh god." Kurt put a hand over his heart and breathed out in relief. "Oh my god, I thought you were gonna hate me."

"I could never. But I'm really upset with you, though. What you have done to Rachel is nowhere near right or okay. But I won't yell at you now, because I think you have been punishing yourself enough already." His dad removed his hand from his knee.

"There is actually another thing I need to tell you. And if me being gay didn't change the way you look at me, this certainly will." Kurt wiped his tears. "I got to know a guy a while ago and I… everything just happened. Dad, I think I'm in love with him. I know I am. I know it's no excuse to what I've done, but I was so miserable. And he was there, he was the only one I could trust.

"I never thought I'd cheat on her, and trust me, I hate myself so much for it. I will never, ever be able to forgive myself for it, but it happened. I cheated on Rachel. More than once. I haven't been able to look myself in the mirror for months."

His dad's eyes widened and he just shaked his head, massaging his temples. "I honestly do not know what I'm supposed to say." There was an edge to his voice that said that he was really, really angry.

"You hate me now, don't you?" Kurt sobbed out.

"No. Stop asking me that. I just can't believe that you did that. You have a lot of explaining to do. Both to me and her, but I think my brain is gonna explode if you tell me anything else."

"I'm sorry, I never wanted any of this to happen." Kurt whispered.

"You're an adult, Kurt. I don't need to tell you what to do anymore, I trust that you will handle this in the best way possible."

"I will. I'm gonna tell her everything and then… we'll see what happens." Kurt got up from the couch. "I'm sorry, dad."

"Tell her that, not me." His dad said.

Kurt just nodded and turned around to leave again.

"Kurt, put on a shirt before you leave. Okay?"

"Yeah, right. A shirt." Kurt went to the drawer and put on a random t-shirt before leaving his dad's house.

It actually went better than he expected. He felt so… light, still so free. It might take forever for his dad to understand what he did and why, and Rachel might slap him in the face after this. But things were actually looking up, this was the first step towards a honest life.

* * *

Once Kurt got home again he stood outside the door, inhaling and exhaling over and over. He needed to do this. He had told his dad, there was no going back, he had to tell Rachel too. He could imagine her reaction, it made him so nervous. He didn't wanna hurt her, it was never his intention.

He closed his eyes and slowly pushed the door open, ready to face this. It was gonna be hard but he was ready, ready to do what's right.

* * *

Blaine sat in his small apartment and watched TV. He was tired, he was sad and he was anxious. He still hadn't told Nolan about his and Kurt's hookup the other week. He knew he had to, so he sent him a quick text, asking him to come over.

Not even 10 minutes later Nolan was already knocking at the door. Blaine sighed and got up from the couch, opening.

"Hi, Nolan." He said and moved aside. Nolan walked inside.

"Hi, boyfriend." He grinned and leaned in for a kiss.

"No, please. Don't kiss me until I've said that I need to say." Blaine sighed and closed the door.

Nolan frowned but then followed Blaine back to the couch and sat down.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Do you want something to drink?" Blaine asked instead.

"No, I'm good. I just wanna hear what you wanted to tell me."

"Okay." Blaine sighed and rubbed his temples.

Nolan placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed lightly.

"No, don't." Blaine winced and moved away from his touch.

Nolan sighed and moved away his hand. "Are you breaking up with me?" He asked.

"No. Not really." Blaine sighed again. "Look, Nolan. I… I hooked up with someone."

Silence.

Blaine didn't dare to meet Nolan's eyes, he was too afraid of how they might see him now.

More silence.

Blaine forced himself to look up. Nolan was gritting his teeth, his eyes were narrowed and he looked so goddamned angry.

"You did _what_?" He asked, there was a slight edge to his voice.

"I hooked up with someone." Blaine said and looked him in the eyes. "I didn't mean to… it just happened."

"Who?!" Nolan demanded to know.

"I- I can't say."

"You know what, Blaine." Nolan said and got up from the couch. "We are best friends, _boyfriends_ and I thought I could trust you. But I can't, you fucking whore."

"What did you call me?" Blaine asked, shocked.

"A whore. It's what you are." Nolan threw the keys to the flowershop Blaine had given him a while ago on the table. "Fuck you, Anderson." He said and then stormed out of his apartment, slamming the door shut.

Blaine sighed and burried his face in his hands, shaking his head. "Fuck." He mumbled.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12: What's left of me

Chapter 12: What's left of me.

"Who was it, huh?!" Rachel asked, tears streaming down her face.

"I- I can't say his name." Kurt stuttered.

"It was the flower guy, wasn't it? It was Blaine." She wiped her tears and shaked her head, giving him a disgusted look. "You know I thought that you guys were looking at eachother in a weird way, but then I thought: _no, it's nothing. Kurt wouldn't do that to me, he would be honest with me_. But no, my boyfriend - my fiancé - screws the man who does our flowers to our damn wedding behind my back!"

"Rachel, I'm so sorr-"

"I don't wanna hear it! You know what, Kurt. If you would've told me that you were gay, I would've understood! I'm not mad at you for being gay, I'm mad at you for cheating on me." She sniffled.

"Rachel…" He gave her a pained look.

"I gave you everything!" She burst out. "I gave you my virginity, I got married to you! I fell in love with you! And you just lied and lied and cheated and cheated!"

"I know that!" Kurt said and almost pulled out his hair. "And you can't hate me anymore than I already hate myself, okay? I don't deserve you. You deserve someone much better. So this is your chance to walk away from me and all of my baggage."

"Oh I will." Rachel said and crossed her arms over her chest. She made a short pause. "I thought I knew you, Kurt. But apparently I know nothing about you. And that scares me."

"I'm sorry." Was all Kurt could say.

It's all he have been saying since he got home and told Rachel everything. She had burst into tears and asked him thousands of questions while crying hysterically. He felt like he was comitting emotional suicide by just watching her. He really hated himself, he did. He hated everything he had done and what he had become.

"It scares me too." He then added. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

"I think you should take a break, Kurt." Rachel said. "To figure out what the hell it is that you want."

"I want him." Kurt said without thinking. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that-"

"No, I get it." She said and shaked her head, looking down at her feet. "You're gay, you're in love with someone else. I understand that. But what I don't understand is how you could do this to _me_. Did I seriously mean nothing to you?"

"You mean more than you know to me, Rachel." Kurt said truthfully.

"You're right, I don't know." She said as she put on her jacket. "I'm leaving. I'll come back to get my stuff later."

With that she walked out of the apartment and slammed the door shut behind her. Just then Kurt fell down on the floor, finally letting himself cry.

* * *

After crying for god only knows how long, Kurt decided he needed to do something. But he couldn't go out like this. So he took a quick shower and put on black jeans along with a simple, blue t-shirt. He knew he had to look himself in the mirror to check his hair, he was afraid.

He shut his eyes tightly and walked over to the mirror, he took a deep breath and opened them. He did look like himself, but still he didn't.

The innocence, honesty, glow, beauty: it was all gone. He looked gray, boring, tired, like a liar. The reflection made him sick to his stomach.

He fixed his hair quickly and gave himself a disgusted face expression. He spit on the mirror once before he turned away from it. He couldn't stand seeing himself, he didn't know who the man in the mirror was anymore.

He needed to fix this, he decided. He needed to talk to Blaine, needed to tell him everything. He also needed to talk to Rachel later when she came back, and his dad…

He sighed as he got into his car, he had to make this right. Or at least as right as he could.

* * *

Kurt drove to the flowershop, but it was dark and empty. Blaine wasn't there. He frowned and jumped into the car again. This time he drove to Blaine's apartment, he banged at the door.

_Please, please be home. I don't know if I'll find the courage to do this again if I have to walk away._

He bit his lip and knocked again. This time someone opened. It was Blaine. Kurt felt relief wash over him once he saw him, _the one_.

But Blaine looked tired, sad and surprised to see Kurt. His eyebrows shot right up to his hairline and his eyes went wide.

"Kurt?" He said and frowned. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

Kurt's heart sank. That's the last thing he wanted to hear. But it's what he deserve.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised to see you." Blaine said and shaked his head.

"I came out to my dad. And Rachel. I told them everything." Kurt blurted out and felt the tears build up in his eyes again, but this time he held them under control. He refused to cry more.

Blaine's jaw dropped. "You did what?"

"It's true. I don't wanna lie anymore, I'm done." Kurt explained. "I woke up today and realized that I didn't recognize myself anymore, and I kind of wanted to die. But then I remembered that that's not me, so I decided to change things. It's all or nothing."

"Come in." Blaine said and stepped aside for Kurt to enter. "Tell me everything."

So Kurt did. He told Blaine every detail of what he had said and done, he even mentioned that he and Rachel had sex. He explained all the things he'd felt, thought, done and why. And all Blaine did was listen, nodding and just _being_ there.

"I want to try to make things right again. I don't know how the hell I'm gonna do that, I probably won't be able to get things back to the way they used to be, but I want to try. Because I can't stand the idea of not having you in my life, I can't stand the idea of my dad thinking any less of me and I can't stand the idea of Rachel hating me." Kurt made a short pause. "And the first step, is you. Because you are the most important thing in my life right now, Blaine."

"I told Nolan about us." Blaine randomly said.

Kurt looked up and raised his eyebrows. "You did?"

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't tell him that I was with _you_ but I told him I had hooked up with someone." Blaine shrugged. "He got mad and left, he broke up with me. I don't blame him."

"I'm so sorry. Blaine, I never wanted to screw up your life too."

"It's not just you, it's me. And honestly, that relationship wasn't a relationship. What we had, you and I, was more of a relationship than me and Nolan. At least I felt something when I was with you."

"What about now? What do you feel for me now?" Kurt bit his lip, he had to know.

Blaine brought his hands up to Kurt's face, cupping his cheeks and wiping invisible tears with his thumbs. "I feel the same way. I still… I still _love_ you."

"You love me?" Kurt's jaw dropped.

"Yes, I do."

"I love you too."

Blaine smiled. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. I've known for a while."

"Yeah?""Yeah. If you want me, take what's left." Kurt said and moved closer. "You can have what's left of me."

Blaine looked him in the eyes. Kurt felt as if Blaine could see all the way into his soul, but he didn't mind. He had nothing to hide, not anymore. Eventually they moved closer to eachother and their lips met in a passionated kiss.

Kurt felt his whole body relax once his lips had found their way back to Blaine's. He felt that feeling of safety, of home. He didn't need anything else, as long as he had Blaine he'd be the happiest man alive.

Eventually they broke away from the kiss, completely out of breath.

"Holy shit." Kurt panted. He felt drunk, but he was drunk of Blaine's kisses so he didn't mind at all.

Blaine smiled tiredly at him, his eyes only open half way. "I love you, I love you, I love you." He sighed.

"And I love you too." Kurt said. He was so happy and relieved that he could say those words out loud to the right person.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Blaine said and wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding him close.

"Me neither." Kurt said and kissed Blaine's hand. "But I told you, I'd do all of those things for you. And this sure as hell aren't no imagination! This is real."

Blaine chuckled a little. "Yeah, it is." He made a pause. "Do you regret it yet?"

"What do you mean _yet_?" Kurt asked. "I'm never gonna regret this. It's the best thing I've ever done."

"So what are you gonna do next?"

"Well, I'm gonna go back to our apartment later and talk to Rachel. Then I'm gonna talk to my dad and tell him whatever it is that me and Rachel decide to do." Kurt sighed.

"Where are you gonna stay?" Blaine asked.

"I don't wanna live in that apartment. I don't want to wake up every morning and get reminded of all this."

"You can stay with me." Blaine suggested. "And don't freak out, I'm not asking you to move in with me if you don't want to, all I'm saying is that you can stay until you find your own-"

"I want to move in with you." Kurt interrupted, he turned to face Blaine. "I really, really do. If you want me to."

Blaine's face broke into a wide grin. "Of course I do!" He tackled Kurt in a tight hug. "Oh my gosh, it's gonna be so much fun! I'm gonna make you feel at home and everything is gonna be perfect, I promise!"

"You don't need to worry about any of those things." Kurt said with a smile. "I already feel at home when I'm with you."

Blaine smiled even wider and pressed their lips together. "I." Kiss. "Love." Kiss. "You." Kiss. "So." Kiss. "Much." Kiss.

Kurt laughed hysterically between the kisses. "I love you too." He said and made their kiss more passionated.

Once they broke apart they just stared at eachother, grinning stupidly. But they were both so insanely happy that they didn't care about how dumb they looked.

"One day," Kurt began. "I hope I get to walk down that aisle with you."

"Yeah, I hope so too. One day." Blaine smiled and kissed him once more, as if he was never gonna get enough.

* * *

Just half an hour after Kurt had left there was a knock at the door. Blaine frowned as he got up from the couch to open. He was surprised to see Rachel stand outside his apartment, looking furious.

"You don't have _any_ shame in your body, do you?!" She yelled.

"Rachel, calm down-"

"No! I'm not gonna calm down, I need to talk to you. Let me in." She demanded.

"Not if you won't calm down."

She inhaled and exhaled slowly, giving him her worst bitch glare. "Calm." She said through gritted teeth.

"Well, come in. Rachel." He said and stepped aside.

"Don't act fucking polite with me." She walked ahead of him and then turned so quickly that he almost walked into her. "You knew that he was with me and yet you fucked him! I even asked you to come to our damn wedding and you said yes! You fucking showed up! After everything you had done and pretended as if nothing had happened, how fucking dare you?!"

Blaine's eyes were wide, he didn't know Rachel could be this angry and scary. He was a little scared, to be honest. She looked like she wanted to rip his head off his shoulders.

"Look, Rachel." He sighed and sat down in the couch. "I know that what I did was wrong, I'm aware of that. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just out him. And another thing, have you seen him? Have you looked at him lately?"

"Of course I have, what kind of a question is that?" She asked and joined him on the couch.

"Then have you noticed the dark circles under his eyes? Have you heard him cry at night? Have you noticed how much weight he's lost? Have you noticed that he barely smiles anymore? Have you seen that the sparkle, the life in his eyes isn't there? Have you noticed that the man that you met for the first time is _gone_." Blaine asked her.

"No, I didn't notice that." She said and looked down at her hands.

"He was miserable, Rachel. He hated himself for what he did. I don't know how many times I watched him cry, because he knew how much he had hurt you, and how heartbroken you'd be if you found out. He knew that you loved him and he knew that you didn't deserve to be treated like that." Blaine made a pause. "He punished himself in every way possible. I tried to break it off with him, so many times. Because it killed me to see him like that. But somehow we always found one way or another back to eachother. I don't know how, but we did. And I'm sorry for everything that I've done. I know it was wrong and I know that cheating is never right, no matter the circumstances."

Rachel looked up at him with tears in her eyes, the anger seemed to have left her body. So Blaine continued.

"I don't know what I was thinking, to be honest. I just know that I saw this beautiful man. This beautiful man with all of that weight on his shoulders and all I wanted to do was to help him. So he told me everything and… things just happened. I fell in love with him and eventually he fell in love with me too. It was just meant to be, you know? It was like this fairytale, this imagination, this perfect dream. But then I remembered that he has a fiancée to come home to every night. And that's when I realized what the hell I was doing."

"So why did you?" Rachel's voice was a broken whisper. "Why did you go on with it?"

"Why does it matter? I was blind, deep down I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't care. It was selfish and for that I am sorry." Blaine sighed again. "But isn't this for the best? He could never love you, it would all be a lie. Don't you want to find somebody who can actually love you back?"

"Yes, I do. But that's between Kurt and me, you had nothing to do with this! You only made things worse." She narrowed her eyes.

"Kurt wasn't even ready to admit that he was homosexual until he admitted it to me!"

"So you're saying that Kurt cheating on me with you helped him to admit his true feelings?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying, Rachel. I'm saying that if he had never met me he might still be in the closet and struggling! I'm not saying I helped him to come out, he did that all on his own, but I helped him open up his eyes."

Rachel laughed. "You're fucking ridiculous, how dare you even say that? How is cheating the answer? It is never the answer."

"I'm not saying the cheating part was the answer, he admitted that he was gay before we… became a thing."

"Oh, so you're calling yourself a thing now?" Rachel stood up.

"No I-"

"You know what, Blaine, fuck you." She started walking out of there. Then she turned around and looked at him. "You know what the saddest part is?"

Blaine just shaked his head.

"It's that I actually thought you were a good person. But I was wrong, you're actually a selfish douchebag." She said and walked out of there, slamming the door shut.

* * *

A few hours later Kurt came into Blaine's apartment again, carrying a few boxes with his stuff.

"Blaine could you help me carry in a few boxes? They're really heavy." Kurt asked once he came into the livingroom.

Blaine had sort of zooned out, still thinking about his and Rachel's conversation. He didn't even notice Kurt standing there.

"Blaine?" Kurt repeated.

"Huh?" Blaine snapped out of it and looked up at him. "Oh, hi. You're back."

"Uh, yeah. Are you okay?" Kurt sat down next to him on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do you need help with the boxes?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay, on it!" Blaine said and walked out to get the rest of Kurt's stuff.

Once he returned with the last few boxes and bags Kurt got up from the couch and took them from his hands and put them on the floor.

"Blaine, is everything okay." Kurt got closer and grabbed his hands.

"Yes, I told you. Everything is fine." Blaine gave him a strained smile.

"Blaine." Kurt frowned. "I know you're lying. What's going on?"

Blaine sighed and looked down. "I had a visitor." He mumbled. "Rachel."

"Rachel?" Kurt raised an eyebrow and released his hands. "Rachel was here?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" Blaine looked up. "She wanted to tell me what a horrible person I am, how angry she is with me and how wrong everything I did was."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Kurt sighed. "I should've seen that coming…"

"No, it's fine. Can we just forget about it?"

"Okay… but you do know none of that is true, right? Any of the things she said."

Blaine nodded slightly. "Yeah, sure."

"_Blaine_."

"Yes, fine." Blaine sighed.

Kurt leaned in and kissed him softly. "I don't care about what she thinks, she doesn't know anything, really."

"Have you talked to her yet?" Blaine asked.

"No, I'll do that soon." Kurt said.

"Promise me?"

"I promise."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13: Truth time

**A/N: Okay, some of you might think that what's about to happen in this chapter is very "cliché" but I promise you, it's not gonna play out the way you think it will. It's not gonna be one of those storylines that most people do, I like to be unique and do this that's not expected :) so please hang in there, okay? Be patient with me and don't just assume that this is gonna suck in the future.**

* * *

Chapter 13: Truth time.

"Rachel? It's me, Kurt, can you please open the door?"

A couple of seconds passed by but then the door finally opened. Rachel glared at him. Her eyes were puffy and red from all the crying, her hair was a mess and she had changed into sweatpants.

"What is it? I thought we were done." She sniffled and wiped a couple of fresh tears.

"I don't want us to go our separate ways like this." Kurt sighed. "Can I just come in so we can talk? But please, no screaming, fighting or anything. I just want to talk."

Rachel bit her lip and considered it for a while. She then moved aside and let him in. "Fine."

They sat down on the couch in their livingroom. None of them said anything at first, it was really awkward. They both just sat there in silence, looking at anything but eachother.

Kurt eventually broke the silence. "We need to get a divorce."

"Yeah, I know." Rachel's voice was surprisingly calm.

"Do you hate me?" Kurt had to know.

She looked over at him with a blank face expression. "Do I hate you?"

Kurt nodded.

"I… I try my hardest, believe me. But no, I don't hate you." She sighed. "But I dislike you a lot at the moment."

"Because I'm gay?"

"Jesus christ, Kurt!" She snapped and turned so she faced him completely. "How many times do I need to say that you being gay is not the issue here! It's the fact that you _lied_ and _cheated_, that's the problem!"

Kurt bit his lip and nodded again. "I'm sorry. You know I am."

"Yeah, at least you say so."

"Why did you come home to Blaine?" Kurt asked. "This is between you and me, not him."

"Because I needed answers!" She yelled. "It was driving me crazy, I wanted to know, okay? Can you blame me though?"

"Don't yell, please." Kurt begged.

"Fine." She groaned.

"No, I understand. But you could have asked me, don't get him involved."

"He _is_ involved already! He became involved the second he decided to get involved with _you_!"

"Just don't do it again." Kurt demanded.

"Oh trust me, I don't ever wanna see him again." She snorted.

"Okay." Kurt sighed.

"You know, when we're being honest here, I have been keeping some things from you too." She said quietly.

"Really?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"It was only one thing, and it wasn't important anyway." She sighed.

"Now you're gonna have to tell me."

"It's… the day you thought you heard me say _dads_ instead of dad, you weren't wrong. I did say dads. I made a mistake." She explained. "I don't have a mom, I have two dads. The woman you've been meeting with isn't my birth mother, she's just a friend to my dads."

Kurt gaped. "You have two dads?" He asked, shocked.

She nodded.

"Well, that would explain why you don't have a problem with my sexuality…" Kurt mumbled.

"My real mom died when I was barely a year old, she got very sick before she was gonna have me. They weren't sure that either her or me would make it, but we did. She got very, very ill the day I was born and she was in coma for a week. But she woke up and she was better than ever, then a few months later she just… died."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Kurt frowned.

"It's not like I… like I miss her. I don't exactly remember her. I love my dads, they are amazing. My real dad is bisexual so he did love my mom, he was crushed when she died. But he moved on and fell in love with another man. They're married now and I love them both so much, but society doesn't, so they had to keep their marriage a secret. It's rather terrible, because my other dad, John, is such a nice guy. I love him so much."

"I'm sorry." Kurt said again. "I really am, I didn't know that."

"No one does. Barely anybody knows." She said. "But it's for the best. I don't want anyone getting hurt."

"Rachel, I love you." Kurt sighed. "I love you as a best friend and I know it's too much to ask, but I wish I could have you in my life as that, as a friend."

"It is a little much to ask of me right now, Kurt." Rachel's voice was thick with emotion.

"I know." Kurt sighed. "But I hope that one day you… you can forgive me and we can be friends."

"I don't know, I really don't know. Maybe." She sighed.

"Okay." Kurt nodded. "I should go now."

"Yeah, goodbye, Kurt." She said.

"Goodbye, Rachel." He hesitated but then pressed a light kiss to her cheek before he left the apartment.

* * *

The first thing that hit Kurt once he got into Blaine's apartment again was the scent of food and loud music. It smelled delicious and it made his stomach make noises. He walked into the kitchen and found Blaine standing in the kitchen, listening to music while cooking. He was dancing around and was obviously unaware of the fact that Kurt was watching him with a fond smile.

In a way, Blaine reminded him of Rachel when he danced around like that, but it was still so different. Blaine looked so adorable and _sexy_ while doing it, and it kind of made Kurt want to tear his clothes of. Also Blaine was so… Blaine. He was so loveable, everything he did was perfect in Kurt's eyes.

"Hello there, masterchef." Kurt said.

Blaine jumped and turned around, he put a hand over his heart. "God, you scared me!"

Kurt giggled. "Sorry, what are you cooking?"

"Pasta alá dancé!" Blaine said and raised the volume, he reached out his hand for Kurt. Kurt rolled his eyes but then took Blaine's hand.

Blaine put one hand on Kurt waist and the other one was clasped in Kurt's, he moved closer so there was just a tiny gap between them. He started dancing and swaying Kurt all over the kitchen floor. He spinned him and almost dropped him, but he caught him in the last second. Kurt was laughing and smiling and was so in love he thought he might die.

Having Blaine that close, smiling and dancing like a pro, it was something about that. He made Kurt feel like… like a man. He couldn't explain it. Being held in that secure grip, having a hot man with a coy smile on his lips infront of him, moving in a veeeeeeery sexy way made him go nuts.

The song ended and Blaine spinned Kurt one last time before pulling him close in one quick move. Kurt gasped in surprise, they were so close and Kurt was so turned on. Screw dinner.

Kurt started kissing him, _furiously_, he didn't know what was with him, he was going absolutely crazy. It was all tongue and teeth, and the way Blaine was responding told Kurt that he was pretty damn desperate too. Blaine lips moved down Kurt's neck and left mark after mark, Kurt almost ripped Blaine's clothes in the process of getting them off. Kurt lifted Blaine up on the sink unit behind them, and after saying "okay" with their eyes Kurt was inside of started thrusting so fast he was sure Blaine was gonna have bruses on his ass in the shape of Kurt's hipbones. But he didn't care because Blaine was digging his nails into his back which drove him even crazier.

They both moaned and sweated, it was pure madness. Kurt had never felt this needy in his life, but he just _wanted_ and _craved_ Blaine.

He felt himself getting closer by seconds, he wasn't gonna last. But he wasn't even _trying_ to last, god, he needed to _come_ so badly. He felt like he was gonna explode soon if he didn't. So he started going faster and Blaine's moans grew louder.

Kurt felt the heated feeling in his stomach and with one last thrust he came inside of Blaine. He moaned and screamed Blaine's name. It was so fucking intense he thought he was gonna pass out, and he just couldn't _stop coming_. The orgasm lasted forever and his head was swimming, he couldn't even see.

When it finally ended Kurt collapsed on the floor on top of Blaine. He was breathing so fast and loud, he was exhausted.

"Fuck…" He said breathlessly.

"Yeah, _fuck_." Blaine agreed.

Kurt felt something stab him in the leg, he looked down and noticed that Blaine was still hard.

"Oh my god, you didn't come." Kurt said.

"It's fine… what you did was pretty damn awesome." Blaine breathed.

"No, you need to come too. I want you to feel as good as I just did." Kurt bent down over Blaine, his mouth just above his cock. "May I?" He asked and bit his lip.

"Yes, _please_." Blaine whimpered, Kurt's heavy breaths over his hard dick made him squirm.

Kurt smiled and swallowed down Blaine's entire length, he started sucking so hard Blaine thought he was gonna die out of pleasure. He started screaming and moaning again and thrusted into Kurt's mouth. Kurt just moaned and sucked harder.

"Fuck, Kurt! I- I'm gonna come!" Blaine warned.

Kurt just nodded and Blaine finally let go, come shooting down Kurt's throat. Kurt swallowed it all down and then pulled away from his cock with a loud pop.

"Are you okay?" Kurt giggled and laid down next to him.

Blaine was just lying there, breathing heavily. "Are you kidding?" He managed to say. "You're… you're perfect. God, you're amazing."

Kurt blushed. "I don't know what happened… you just looked so sexy and I couldn't stop myself."

"Let's hope it happens more times because, _damn_." Blaine said and sat up. "But… um… the food is ruined."

"I'm not really hungry now anyway." Kurt shrugged and kissed Blaine on the lips, Blaine moaned at the taste of himself on Kurt's tongue.

"Yeah, me neither. Do you wanna take a shower?" Blaine winked.

"Yeah, let's go." Kurt smiled and took Blaine's hand. They walked naked into the bathroom and into the showers. They had become so comfortable with eachother that they didn't even care anymore, they loved eachother naked or not.

"I love you." Kurt reminded Blaine.

"I love you too." Blaine replied with a smile as he started massaging shampoo into Kurt's scalp.

* * *

_About 5 weeks later…_

Blaine pulled away from their heated kiss because there was a knock at the door.

"Ignore it, they'll eventually leave." Kurt said and pressed their lips together again.

There was yet another knock. And Blaine pulled away again.

"I don't think so…" He mumbled.

"No, no. They will." Kurt protested and kissed him again.

There was yet another knock, louder this time.

"Fuck it." Kurt groaned and pulled away, sitting down in the couch again instead of on Blaine's lap, crossing his arms.

Blaine giggled, Kurt was so adorable sometimes. "Be right back, my very needy boyfriend." He said and kissed Kurt softly before he walked towards the door.

It was kind of late, the clock had passed 11. Who could possibly be knocking at their door by this hour? Blaine opened and was more than a little surprised to see who stood there.

"Rachel?" He said with wide eyes.

He was shocked. He hadn't seen her since the day she had come to yell at him, which was over a month ago now. What on earth was he doing here now? She looked devastated and she was crying.

"I-Is Kurt home?" She whispered.

"Uh… why?" Blaine asked.

"Because I need to talk to him, it's important." She insisted.

"Yeah… okay." Blaine narrowed his eyes but then turned around to go get Kurt.

"Uh, Kurt. Rachel is here… she wants to talk to you. It seems urgent." Blaine said.

"Rachel?" Kurt frowned.

"Yeah, I'm just as surprised. She's _crying_, Kurt."

Kurt's raised his eyebrows in surprise and got up from the couch. He walked out in the hallway and reached the door in a matter of seconds.

"Rachel? What are you doing here… why are you crying?" Kurt asked, he was worried. He still cared about her.

"C-Can we go somewhere?" She asked out of the blue.

"Now? It's-"

"Late, I know." She wiped her tears. "Look, I know it seems crazy and it's odd to show up like this with no warning. But it's really important and I just want to talk to you alone."

"Anything you have to say to me you can say infront of Blaine." Kurt insisted. "We don't keep secrets."

"Kurt. Please." She was practically begging him.

Kurt sighed and nodded. "Yes, okay. Just give me a second."

He walked back into the livingroom and told Blaine he was gonna be gone for a few minutes. Blaine nodded in understanding. Kurt then grabbed his jacket and walked out on the streets which was getting way colder by night since it was almost fall.

It was also very dark, just a few lights on by the road. It had been raining recently, so it was wet and the air smelled like soaked leaves.

"Okay, Rachel. What's going on? I haven't seen you in weeks." Kurt pointed out.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Kurt. I wanted to call but I… I just couldn't do it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I thought it seemed a little strange." She admitted.

"Oh."

"Okay, but the real reason why I'm here is because I have some terrible news." She sighed.

Kurt stopped his tracks and looked at her. She seemed so nervous, maybe even scared and definitely uncertain.

"What kind of news?" He asked.

"I checked my calender a few weeks ago and I noticed that I was late." She said.

Silence.

"What do you mean _late_?" Kurt was confused.

"I mean my period was late." She inhaled and exhaled. "So I… I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. But I went to a doctor to make sure and… Kurt, I'm pregnant." She was tearing up again. "I'm pregnant with your baby."

TBC


	14. Chapter 14: What to do now?

Chapter 14: What to do now?

Kurt couldn't move. He couldn't think. The words was echoing in his mind.

_I'm pregnant with your baby._

How do you react to those news? He knew he had taken her virginity but the night was sort of blurry. He had been drunk and he had just wanted to get over with it. So in the heat of the moment he must have forgot to use protection…

_Holy fucking shit._

"A-Are you sure it's mine?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, I haven't been with anybody besides you. It's yours, I swear. I wouldn't lie about that."

Kurt nodded. He felt dizzy. He had gotten a girl knocked up. He had gotten _Rachel Berry _knocked up. And he had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who he was not sure of how would react to the news.

"Okay. Oh my god… I think I'm gonna pass out." Kurt put a hand over his forehead. He felt sick to his stomach.

"I'm sorry, Kurt." She cried.

"Have you told anybody?"

"No, not besides you and my friend Quinn, but she isn't going to tell anybody." Rachel choked on a sob.

Kurt didn't know what to do so he wrapped his arms around Rachel in a tight hug, mostly to steady himself because his legs wouldn't hold him anymore.

"Do you hate me?" Rachel asked.

"No, of course not." Kurt said. "But what are you doing to do about it?"

Rachel pulled away. "What do you mean?"

"Are you gonna keep it? Or get an abortion..?"

"Kurt, I can't kill a baby. I- I'm gonna keep it." She put her hands over her stomach. "It's my son or daughter in there, I can't…"

"Okay, I understand." Kurt said. He _did_ understand.

"Are you going to support me or leave me to do this by myself?" She asked quietly.

Kurt raised both eyebrows and looked her with a offended face expression. "I'm gonna support you, of course I am. I wouldn't want him or her not to have a dad."

"Seriously? Oh my god." She threw her arms around his neck in another tight hug.

Kurt hugged back, he honestly had no idea of what he was getting himself into. He just did what felt right in the moment. Eventually they pulled away. Rachel wiped her tears.

"How are you gonna tell Blaine?" She asked.

"I… I don't even know _if_ I'm gonna tell Blaine." Kurt admitted and bit his lip.

"You have to tell him. He's gonna find out eventually and you know he'll be so hurt if you didn't tell him right away."

Kurt groaned loudly. "God, he's gonna hate me so much."

"No, he isn't. He loves you too much." She gave him a weak smile.

"How come you are so supportive all of sudden?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

She shrugged. "If this is gonna work and if we're gonna give our kid the best life ever, we're gonna have to start getting along. You, me and Blaine."

Kurt smiled. "That might have been the best idea ever."

"I know." She said. "So, are you ready to do this?"

"No, absolutely not. But I don't think we have a choice."

* * *

Kurt and Rachel said their goodbyes and he started walking back to the apartment. He had no idea how he was gonna tell Blaine. How do you tell your gay boyfriend that you got a girl pregnant and soon you're gonna be a dad?

_Hi, Blaine. You know Rachel's pregnant with my child and she's keeping the baby, so soon I'm gonna be a dad. If you want to you can be dad number 2._

Fuck no. Kurt rolled his eyes at himself as he opened the door to the apartment. He couldn't tell Blaine tonight, he needed to figure out the right way to say it.

"What did she say?" Blaine asked as Kurt sat down on the couch again.

"Oh, it was nothing." Kurt said and gave him a strained smile. "She's just… Rachel."

Blaine chuckled. "Okay, I get it." He smiled and kissed Kurt on the lips. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Thank you." Kurt smiled. "That's why I love you."

"So… if you don't have any other plans I know something we could do." Blaine wiggled his eyebrows.

Kurt giggled and kissed him. Half an hour ago he would have totally wanted to have sex with Blaine, but now he was not in the mood. He had just found out that he is gonna be a dad and he was really overwhelmed in ways he didn't know how to deal with.

But with his past with Rachel he was really good at hiding his feelings, so that's what he was doing right now.

But Blaine was already in his lap, kissing him, and Kurt could feel his boner against his thigh. "Want you…" He said between the kisses.

Kurt sighed, Blaine's lips on his neck felt way too good to say no. But he felt exhausted already. "Blaine… please…" He whispered.

"What?" Blaine asked and continued with what he was doing.

"Can we just… go to bed? I'm really tired and I'm not in the mood for sex." Kurt said and pulled away from him with a apologetical look on his face.

"Yes, of course." Blaine sat back and blushed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Kurt said and kissed him softly.

"I'm just gonna… uh… use the bathroom and then I'll come to bed." Blaine said and walked up, running into the bathroom.

Kurt sighed and kicked the table harshly. "Fuck!" He half shouted. He then hurried into their bedroom to lay down, he needed sleep.

Soon enough he could feel Blaine crawl down next to him, he felt his arm wrap around his body. Kurt smiled, he felt so safe and secure like this, with Blaine holding him. He loved it.

"Goodnight Kurt, I love you." Blaine whispered in the dark and kissed Kurt's hair.

"Goodnight, I love you too, Blaine." Kurt whispered back.

* * *

"_You lied to me."_

_He heard a voice. It sounded like Blaine's. The voice was angry, very angry. It gave him chills._

"_How could you do that? I thought you loved me."_

"_I do love you, please." He begged. He couldn't see the other voice, he assumed it was Blaine, but he couldn't see him._

"_You're gonna be a father and you kept it from me." The voice was accusing._

"_I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid-"_

"_Afraid of what?!" The voice came closer. "That I would leave you?"_

"_Yes." His voice was broken. He was so tired._

_Blaine suddenly appeared. "Well congratulations, that's exactly what you made happen."_

"_No, Blaine, please." He begged. "Don't walk away from me again."_

"_First you marry the slut, then you fuck her without protection so she got pregnant. You're such an inspiration." Blaine yelled. "I bet you're gonna be on the first page on the papers, just like your pathetic wedding and then your pathetic divorce, then your pathetic coming out story."_

"_Stop." He started crying and fell down to the floor. "Please stop."_

"_You're pathetic, Kurt." Blaine said and kneeled down infront of him. "You're so pathetic."_

"_I love you, Blaine." He cried._

"_No, you don't." Blaine sounded so cold. "What the hell did you expect? That I would be daddy number 2? That we would be one big, happy family?"_

"_I-It was my wish, yes."_

_Blaine laughed. "Blow out the candles, Kurt. Wish for it." He narrowed his eyes. "Nothing will happen. You'll just end up with a disgusting cake, covered in candlegrease."_

_Kurt cried harder. "Please, stay. I'm sorry."_

"_Fuck you, Kurt." Blaine stood up. "Fuck you and your pathetic life. Good luck raising that poor child."_

_And with that he was gone. Kurt was alone. He didn't even know where. He covered his face in his hands and continued crying until he was sitting in a puddle. Which soon turned into an ocean, he was sinking, slowly._

_He didn't try to swim, he felt frozen, he couldn't move. Eventually he gasped for air, but his own tears filled his lungs and then he was gone._

"Kurt, Kurt! Wake up!" Blaine was shaking him.

Kurt opened his eyes, he sat up in their bed and gasped for air. He breathed heavily. His head was spinning. His cheeks felt wet, he must have been crying in his sleep.

Sleep.

It was just a dream. Kurt felt himself calming down, it was just a dream. He wasn't dead, Blaine didn't hate him… yet.

"You were screaming and crying in your sleep, I assumed you had a nightmare?" Blaine put his arm around Kurt and rubbed his back in a comforting way.

"Y-Yes… it was a bad dream." Kurt nodded and nuzzled into Blaine's chest, inhaling his scent.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked and kissed his head.

Kurt just shaked his head. "No… I just… I dreamed that I drowned in my own tears."

"Why did you cry?" Blaine asked.

"Because you were mad at me. You called me pathetic and you broke up with me." Kurt started crying again at the horrible memory.

"Shhh…" Blaine hushed him. "It was just a dream. I'm here, okay? I'm not breaking up with you, you're not pathetic. It was just a dream."

Kurt nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too." Blaine replied.

Kurt sighed in relief. Blaine loved him. Blaine wasn't breaking up with him.

Blaine pulled away and put his hands on Kurt's shoulders, looking him in the eyes. "I really do love you. I'd never break up with you." Blaine smiled and kissed him softly.

"I-I hope not." Kurt smiled.

"I promise." Blaine kissed him again. "Do you want to try to sleep again or do you want to get up? It's only 4 am."

"We can try to sleep again." Kurt said and laid down.

Blaine laid down next to him and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, Kurt."

"Goodnight." Kurt replied. "Um… Blaine? Can you hold me?"

Blaine smiled. "Of course I can." He put his arm around Kurt and pushed him as close to his body as possible. "Better?"

"Much." Kurt kissed Blaine's hand and soon enough they were both asleep again.

* * *

The next time Kurt woke up the sun was shining through the window and he could smell coffee in the air. He smiled once he felt a pair of lips press against his.

"Goodmorning, my prince."

Kurt opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a very smiley Blaine, standing next to him. The second thing he noticed was Blaine's hand that was reached out towards him.

"Come with me, I made breakfast." Blaine informed him.

"You did?" Kurt asked, the smile never leaving his face.

"Mhmmm…" Blaine hummed and walked towards the kitchen once Kurt had taken his hand.

Once they reached the kitchen Kurt noticed that there was lots of food. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, sandwiches, coffee, hot chocolate, juice and god knows what else.

"Okay, are you trying to get laid, Anderson?" Kurt half joked.

Blaine laughed as he dragged the chair out for him. "No, not at all." He said and kissed Kurt's cheek before walking around to sit down across from him.

"Then what did I do to deserve all of this?" Kurt picked up a pancake and put it on his plate.

"You didn't do anything. I just love you a lot and I want to show you in every single way." Blaine shrugged with a smile.

"Well, you're pretty good at it." Kurt said with his mouth full of pancake.

Blaine smiled, clearly proud of himself and reached out to grab a few pancakes himself. "Good!"

Kurt looked at the clock. It was 11.30. He looked over at Blaine. "Aren't you very late for work?"

"Nah, I asked my uncle to cover for me today. It's _his _flowershop after all."

"Oh, okay. That means we can spend the entire day together?" Kurt asked hopefully.

Blaine's smile fell. "No, I have to get back in an hour or so, my uncle is going away so I have to be there."

"Where is he going?"

"He's gonna deliver some flowers to someone who lives far away from here. So it's gonna be a long drive." Blaine sighed. "I'm sorry, I really wish I could stay home."

"No, no. It's fine." Kurt assured him. "I'll be fine. I might catch up with Mercedes, I haven't seen her in ages, she couldn't even make it to the wedding because she was sick."

"Okay. Good, then I don't have to feel too guilty." Blaine smiled.

Kurt giggled. "No, of course not."

They finished their very late breakfast before Blaine went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Once he got out Kurt nearly choked on his coffee. Blaine was completely naked, besides from the white towel wrapped around his hips. His hair was damp and beginning to form into those beautiful curls on his head, his body was still wet from the shower and he was so fucking _hot_.

Blaine noticed that Kurt was staring so his face broke into a grin. "Like what you see?" He asked.

Kurt simply nodded, he wasn't even trying to look away from Blaine's torso. "You are like… the hottest guy I've ever seen in my life."

Blaine chuckled. "Well, thank you." He blushed and walked into their bedroom to change into some blue pants and a gray sweater. He also gelled his hair and put on his watch.

When he was done he walked out again and gave Kurt a kiss. "I'll see you when I get home." He smiled and kissed him again.

"Yeah, bye. I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

After a while Kurt also took a shower and changed into some other clothes. Then he did his skin care routine before doing his hair. He sent Mercedes a quick text to ask if she was busy.

_Hey, I was planning on coming over. Haven't seen you in forever, are you free? -K_

Just a minute later he got a reply.

_Sure! Come over right away so I can punch you in the face for not calling or texting earlier. But then I also might hug you. -M_

Kurt rolled his eyes with a smile as he started walking out to his car. He drove straight to her house, not even stopping by The Lima Bean (which he usually always did, you simply can't have too much coffee in Kurt's opinion).

Once he reached her house he didn't even get a chance to knock at the door before she opened it and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"My stupid, stupid best friend!" She said and squeezed him.

"Hi, Mercedes." He choked out.

She let go of him and pulled him into her house, closing the door behind them. "So did I get this right, you married her? Then you came out and then divorced her? And now you're dating Blaine, the guy you cheated on her with?"

Kurt sighed and sat down by her kitchen table. "Jesus Christ." He rolled his eyes. "When you put it that way it sounds even worse."

"Sorry." She bit her lip and sat down next to him. "Tell me everything?"

"Yeah okay." Kurt cleared his throat. "Well, I am gay. Obviously. I guess I've always known, I was just afraid of the truth. So I married Rachel, which was stupid. And yes, during the time I was cheating on her, which is something that I am not proud of. I will probably never forgive myself for it. But I fell in love with him, I can't explain it, I just love him more than I've ever loved anyone in this world. And eventually with all the guilt and shit I felt like I was gonna explode or something so I just ran over to my dad's and told him everything. And then I told Blaine and well… things kinda worked out."

"How?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Blaine loved me back. And my dad was mad for a really long time but we're okay now, and so is me and Rachel. We're fine." He bit his lip. He did not wanna tell Mercedes about the whole pregnancy-situation.

"Seems like you've had one hell of a journey." She said and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, it's been… tough. Really tough." He nodded.

"I just want you to know that it's okay. I mean, I'm not mad at you or anything. I don't understand any of it, but I know you, and I know what it feels like to be in love, so I guess at one point I do understand." She smiled and shaked her head while rolling her eyes. _Typicall Mercedes move_.

"Thank you." Kurt smiled. "It means a lot."

"I just can't believe I didn't know you were gay! I spent the entire freshman year of high school with a major crush on you!" She giggled.

"You did?" Kurt asked in surprise. "I had no idea!"

"Yeah, I totally did!" She blushed a little. "But then you dated other girls so I thought I didn't have a chance. And then there's the fact that you didn't seem interested. Now I know why."

"Mercedes, you're fabulous. If I had been straight I so would have gone out with you." He winked.

She laughed. "I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked later on when they were laying in their bed.

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you just seem a little… distracted. Is something bothering you?"

"What? No." Kurt shaked his head.

_Dammit, he notice everything!_

"Kurt, please don't lie to me. If something is bothering you then tell me, maybe I can help."

"Blaine, nothing is bothering me." Kurt gave him a reassuring smile. "Everything is fine."

"You're lying."

"I'm really not.

Blaine sighed deeply. "Has this something to do with Rachel?"

"What?! No!" Kurt said firmly.

"Okay." Blaine said but seemed far from convinced.

Kurt groaned.

"Fine! I'm not gonna force you. Just know that you can talk to me about anything, okay?" Blaine mentioned. "I love you and I want you to be happy."

"I am happy." Kurt said with a smile. "I'm always happy when I'm with you."

Blaine smiled back and kissed him. "Okay, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15: Pick up pieces of my heart

**A/N: So I've read your reviews and most of you are really smart, hehe. Seems like you have figured it out, but Kurt still hasn't so we'll see what happens. Sorry for the late update, I've been very busy. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

Chapter 15: Pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

Kurt woke up early the next morning by the buzzing sound of his cellphone ringing.

He groaned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before picking up the phone. It was Rachel.

"Hello?" His voice was hoarse.

"Hi, Kurt. It's me, did I wake you up?" She asked.

"Yeah… but it's fine." He turned around to see that Blaine was still asleep, their legs tangled together.

"Okay, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me to the ultrasound today?"

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to." He mumbled.

"Okay, I'm supposed to be there at 10.30 so I'll pick you up in about two hours so we get there on time. Is that good?"

"Yeah, sounds great."

"Good, see you then." She said before the line went dead.

Kurt put his phone back on the nightstand and curled up next to Blaine again. He knew he had to get up soon if he was gonna have time to take a shower, make breakfast and pick out an outfit before Rachel picked him up.

But Blaine was so warm and the bed was so soft and he was so tired. Just another thirty minutes wouldn't hurt…

No, Kurt Hummel took a very long time getting ready. So he had to get up.

He forced himself to stand up carefully without waking Blaine up. He stepped into the shower and put on cold water to wake up completely. He then wrapped himself in a towel and tip-toed into their bedroom to get some clothes. Then he hurried into the bathroom and changed, in there he also styled his hair and did his skin care routine (as usual).

After that he wrote Blaine a quick note and put it next to him.

_Goodmorning, when you read this I'm probably already out. Mercedes needed me for something, I won't be back until after lunch, so don't wait for me. See you soon, love you! -Kurt._

He made a quick breakfast, just a simple toast and fresh orange juice, and downed it just in time.

He ran out to Rachel's car and got in.

"Is this your first ultrasound?" He asked.

She nodded and bit her lip. "God, I'm so nervous."

"By the way, I never asked you how far along you are." He mentioned.

"Six weeks." She answered.

He nodded and put his hand over hers. "It's gonna be okay." He promised.

"Yeah, I hope so." She sighed. "I haven't told anyone yet. I don't know when or how-"

"Hey, there's no need to rush." Kurt interrupted her. "I think we should wait until… I have figured this out with Blaine. I still don't know what to tell him."

"Kurt, you can't expect me to keep this from everyone I love just because you want to." She said. "If you don't want anyone to know yet they will respect that."

"Are you sure?" He asked, far from convinced.

"Yes. I swear." She nodded.

"Okay." He sighed. "Let's go."

* * *

The doctors visit went just fine and they saw their baby for the first time. It felt so weird to say _their_, but seeing the baby, knowing that it was his… it changed everything.

Now he felt it, he wanted to be a part of that baby's life. He wanted to help raise him or her and give he or she the most amazing life he could offer. Because seeing his baby like this, moving around on the screen, made his heart skip a beat. He loved him or her already, he felt that as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Tears of joy, of happiness. Even in this messy, complicated moment he felt happiness.

Rachel was crying. They held hands and just looked at the screen together, mesmerized.

They walked out to the car, still smiling. They didn't say anything though, the didn't have to, they shared the same thoughts. They even held hands through the ride home, all the way until they stayed outside of Kurt and Blaine's apartment.

"Thank you for letting me come with you today, it meant a lot to me." Kurt said and smiled at her.

"Don't thank me, it was… I mean it _felt_ really good to have you there." She smiled back.

Kurt nodded and walked out of the car and ran up the stairs until he reached the door. He opened it and ran inside, right into Blaine's arms.

"Okay, hello to you too." Blaine chuckled and pulled away. "Why are you so happy all of sudden? Had fun with Mercedes?"

"Merc..? Oh right! Yeah, totally. We had a blast." Kurt nodded furiously. "Oh, are you cooking? Smells great!" He walked past him and into the kitchen.

Blaine frowned and followed him. "Yeah, I'm making pasta and- okay, Kurt, are you okay?"

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be. I'm fine." Kurt gave him a reassuring smile.

"Kay." Blaine raised an eyebrow but then continued making lunch.

"I woke up late," He continued. "So I didn't see your note until it was like past lunch time."

"Oh, then we can eat together anyway." Kurt said and took off his jacket.

"Yup." Blaine nodded.

The lunch was kind of awkward, Kurt could sense that Blaine knew something was up, because he kept eyeing him suspiciously between the chews. But Kurt just shrugged it off and focused on his plate. He wanted to tell him, he really did. And he could feel the sonogram picture burning in his pocket. But now was not the time.

"I just hope that… whatever it is that you're keeping from me, I hope it's worth it." Blaine said once he put both of their plates away. "Because I can tell you're trying really hard to keep it away from me."

Kurt bit his lip. Damn, Blaine was good.

"I'm not keeping anything from you, Blaine. I promise." He said simply.

"Okay, if you say so."

"No, really, I'm not.

"Sure."

"Blaine."

"Okay."

"_Blaine_."

"Fine."

* * *

Kurt hurried into their bedroom and put the sonogram picture in his nightstand drawer. He sighed and closed it before walking out. Blaine was sitting infront of his laptop, looking very concentrated. He was frowning and his reading glasses had slipped off so they were leaning on the tip of his nose, about to fall off.

Kurt giggled and walked forward, taking his glasses off and wrapping his arms around him from behind. He began kissing down Blaine's neck.

"Kurt…" Blaine sighed but you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Mhmmm." Kurt hummed and started biting lightly by his collarbone. He earned a tiny whimper from Blaine.

"Kurt, I really have to work and I can't if you… keep… doing… that…"

"Work can wait." Kurt mumbled and kissed his lips. "Please." He pouted.

Blaine looked at him for a minute before he smiled and nodded while rolling his eyes. "Yeah, okay."

"Yay!" Kurt giggled and took his hand, dragging him towards the bedroom.

They started kissing, touching, pulling off eachothers clothes and soon they were both naked and very hard for eachother. They moaned desperately and fell back on the bed, biting, licking, sucking, leaving marks and what not.

"Please, Blaine." Kurt whined.

"Please what?" Blaine acted clueless.

"I want to… I want to fuck you." Even after the amount of times they had done that, Kurt still blushed like a idiot when he asked for permission to fuck or be fucked.

Blaine moaned. "Okay." He said and reached for his top drawer, looking for the lube. He grew frustrated when he noticed that there was nothing left in the bottle he found.

"Kurt, I think we're out of lube." He informed him.

"What!" Kurt groaned. "No, no, no…"

"Maybe you have some in your drawer?" Blaine reached over him, about to look in the drawer.

That's when Kurt remembered, he put the sonogram picture in there. Blaine couldn't look in that drawer, he _couldn't_.

"No, Blaine, don't look in there-" He said desperately but the damage was already done. Because suddenly Blaine stilled as he slowly picked up the picture. He turned to Kurt, looking genuinely confused as he looked at the picture. Kurt bit his lip hard and waited for Blaine's reaction. Just seconds later realisation spread all over his face as his eyes finally met Kurt's.

Holy fucking shit, he looked angry.

Blaine started shaking out of pure rage as he held up the picture for Kurt to see. "W-What the hell is this?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"It's… it's a sonogram picture." Kurt whispered.

"I can see that, what the hell is a sonogram picture doing in your drawer, Kurt?!" He asked, his voice harsh and loud.

"Look, it's not what you think-"

"It's not what I think?!" Blaine's eyes widened in disbelief. "So you didn't get Rachel knocked up? And all the times you just disappeared you weren't with her? So this sonogram picture is not of Rachel's and your baby?"

Kurt sighed and looked down at his hands. "Yes, you're right. But I didn't know-"

"You didn't know what? How long have you known about this, how could you lie to me like that?!" Blaine yelled and started getting dressed again.

"Where are you doing? Blaine?"

He didn't get an answer, just a door slamming shut.

"FUCK!" Kurt yelled and hid his face in his hands, feeling tears build in his eyes once more.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16: And you lie, lie, lie again

**A/N: I'm sososo sorry that this chapter is so short! But I had to end it there, or else it would have ended up being a very long chapter. And I like torturing you people ;) haha. No, but really, I love reading your comments, it makes me stay motivated to write. So thank you all for that3**

* * *

Chapter 16: And you lie, lie, lie again.

Kurt didn't know what to do, Blaine wasn't answering his phone and his car was gone. He could be anywhere.

Since he didn't know what to do he just picked up his phone and thought about calling Rachel, but it seemed like the wrong thing so he just threw it away and hid under the covers. He needed to think and make sense of this.

He thought back on _everything_, the wedding first of all. How he had been so wasted that he barely remembered anything. But he did remember some parts, some stronger than others. He remember going home with her, Sam making fun of them in the car, then back home she had out of nowhere started to undress him. He remember just standing there but eventually he started undressing her too.

Somehow they ended up in the bedroom, both of them too wasted to put on a condom. He remember trying to imagine that it was Blaine he was thrusting into, but it didn't work very well. He remember Rachel finally coming, saying his name over and over. Then he remember pulling out of her and…

_Oh my god, I never came._

Kurt sat up straight in the bed when realisation hit him. She came far before him and then he just pulled out and went back to sleep. It can't be his baby because he never came inside of her (or at all).

His eyes doubled its size and he felt his heart beat faster. Rachel _had_ hooked up with someone else and she had been lying to him. Was this some sort of sick pay back?

He threw himself off the bed and began looking for his phone, he found it on the pile of his clothes, he dialed Rachel's number as fast as he could.

"Hello?" She said on the other end.

"Rachel, we need to talk. _Now_." He demanded.

"O-Okay?"

"Come over here right away." He didn't give her a chance to answer, he just hung up on her.

He hurried to put on clothes, he was so angry that he was shaking. He fought back the tears with all his might as he fixed his hair. Just then he heard the doorbell ring, he hurried over and opened the door.

Rachel flinched when she saw his angry face expression. "Kurt, are you alright?" She asked and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do not touch me." Kurt said through gritted teeth.

She withdrew her hand and just followed him inside. They sat down by the kitchen table.

"Will you tell me what I-"

"Why did you lie to me?" Kurt interrupted her.

"What?" She asked, confusion spread all over her face.

"It's not my baby." Kurt said firmly. "Why did you lie about that?"

"Kurt, what are you talking about? Of course it's your baby- AH! What are you doing?!"

Kurt stood up and slammed his fist in the table. "It's not my baby Rachel, I didn't even fucking come inside of you when we had sex! It's not possible that I made you pregnant!"

"Please, Kurt, calm down I-"

"No! I won't calm down until you tell me the absolute truth! Don't you understand that I may have lost Blaine because of this?!" He yelled.

"You told him?" Rachel asked softly.

"No, he found the sonogram picture and he just ran out, he's so fucking _angry_ and I don't even know where he is! He won't answer his damn phone." Kurt was breathing heavily.

"Okay, I will explain. Just… please sit down and don't yell at me."

Kurt inhaled and exhaled as he sat down, trying not to lose it again.

"After you told me you had cheated on me I was so angry that I just… I needed to get my mind off things. So I just drove down to a random bar, I had just planned on taking one drink, but I ended up getting wasted. A guy walked up to me, I think his name was Finn, he asked me to dance and I said yes. And after that he asked if I wanted to go home with him, once again I said yes. And we had sex, with- without protection. Like it was with you, we both forgot about that."

Kurt was shaking with anger again. He didn't dare to open his mouth because he had no control over what would come out of it if he did.

"Kurt, please. What was I supposed to do?!" She sounded frustrated now. "I don't even know his last name or where he live! I don't remember anything! And even if I did, I can't just go home to a stranger and tell him that he got me pregnant! He would most likely not help me, a-and I can't do this on my own, neither can I kill a baby so you were the first one that popped into my head."

"Is this some kind of sick pay back, Rachel? Does it please you to know that you made me feel like this?" He asked, voice low.

"No, of course not. This has nothing to do with that… I just needed someone. And I knew you wouldn't do it if I said it wasn't your kid."

"That's sick, Rachel." Kurt said and gave her a disgusted face expression. "Get the fuck out of here, I never want to see you again."

"Oh, you're not gonna yell at me again?" She asked and glared at him.

"Out. Now. Or else I might just do that."

She then stood up and walked towards the door. "I'm sorry, okay?"

When she didn't get an answer she just left and closed the door behind her. Kurt then broke down in tears, he fell off the chair and landed on the floor. He hugged his legs and burried his face in his knees as he sobbed loudly.

* * *

Hours passed by, still no Blaine. He had been gone for over six hours now and the clock has passed 8 pm. Kurt was worried, where had he gone? When was he gonna come back? Was he even gonna come back at all?

Kurt was currently sitting on the couch, biting his fingernails (something he had never done in his life) and just waited. Because what else could he do? He had tried calling, texting but no answer or reply. Blaine had most likely turned off his phone by now.

Just when Kurt was about to send another text, the door opened. Kurt nearly flew out of the couch and ran towards the hallway. Once he got there he saw Blaine.

Blaine's eyes were red, his entire face looked so freaking sad and his whole figure slumped. He looked at Kurt with a hurt expression and Kurt just wanted to die on the spot.

"Blaine." He said quietly. "You came back."

Blaine just nodded, biting his lip. "It is my home after all."

"What?" Kurt was confused.

"Your heart. That is my home." Blaine sighed and rubbed his temples. "Just please, please explain to me. Because I've spent hours trying to make sense of this but I just keep driving myself insane."

"Blaine, it's not my baby." Kurt clearified.

"What?" Blaine froze.

"It's not my baby. Rachel lied to me, she just told me it was mine so she could have someone to support her."

"How do you know that for sure?" Blaine was not convinced at all.

"I… uh… I didn't come inside of her. I didn't come at all when we had sex." Kurt blushed as he said this. "And she confessed, so, yeah."

"Oh." Blaine's mouth turned into an 'o' shape.

"She slept with some guy she can't even remember the name of, or where he lives. So she thought that she could fool me into that it was my baby so she would have support. And she did, but… I figured it out." Kurt explained. "So… uh… are you- are you kicking me out?"

Blaine rubbed his eyes. "I won't kick you out on the street, Kurt."

"So… are we okay?" The tiniest glimpse of hope appeared inside of Kurt.

"No." Blaine shaked his head. "We are far from okay."

Kurt's smile fell.

"You still lied to me." Blaine continued. "You kept a secret that big away from me, and as much as it kills me to admit… I can't trust you anymore."

Kurt's bottom lip started thrembling, he couldn't help it. Hearing those words from Blaine felt like a punch in the gut, but he forced the tears back. He refused to cry like a baby now.

"So… are you breaking up with me?" He asked, voice unsteady.

"No." Blaine said. "We've been through a lot of crap together, to get to where we are today. If we made it through that I'm pretty sure we can make it through this too. But it's gonna take time, Kurt. And you're gonna have to proof that I can trust again."

"Yes, yes, yes." Kurt nodded furiously. "I'll do anything to win back your trust. I promise I won't lie anymore, even though you might not believe me, but I won't. I swear."

Blaine smiled weakly and simply nodded. "I think I'm just gonna go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Me too. Or maybe you want me to sleep on the couch." Kurt hesitated, unsure.

"Kurt, we're not strangers. You can still sleep next to me." Blaine said and started walking towards the bedroom.

Kurt nodded and blushed, he felt so awkward around Blaine. He hated that feeling and hoped that it would go away soon.

He walked into the bathroom and changed (somehow he didn't wanna do it infront of Blaine). Then he brushed his teeth and walked into the bedroom. Blaine was already lying in the bed with his back facing Kurt's side of the bed.

Kurt slowly walked towards the bed and sat down, then he laid down slowly, as if he was afraid to touch Blaine.

"Goodnight, Blaine." He whispered.

"Goodnight, Kurt." Blaine whispered back.

Kurt bit his lip and once again hesitated before he said: "I love you."

There was a pause. Long enough for Kurt to begin to think that Blaine wasn't gonna say it back.

"I love you too, Kurt." Blaine then replied.

That was all it took for Kurt to fall asleep with a small smile on his face, and hope in his heart.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17: Make you feel my love

**A/N: Oh my gooood! It's been so long, I'm so sorry. I've had writer's block for such a long time ;-; it sucks. So I kinda had to "force" this out of me. Haha, but I really like how it turned out. And I hope you do too! Enjoy ;)**

* * *

Chapter 17: Make you feel my love.

Weeks passed by and Kurt was like a personal assistant to Blaine. Not that Blaine asked for it, he didn't. But Kurt wanted to be extra sweet, extra nice. So during the past few weeks he had surprised Blaine in many different ways, he had cooked him food, he had bought him his favorite flowers, he had bought him his favorite chocolate, he had taken him out on romantic dates, made love to him many, many times in the sweetest, most gentle way. He didn't even care about his own pleasure as long as he knew that Blaine felt good. He even gave Blaine massages when Blaine complained about his back since he had been helping his uncle a lot lately.

Kurt was exhausted. As much as he loved making Blaine feel loved and special, it was truly exhausting. But he never complained. Never. Blaine had told him a million times that he does not need to do all of those things, but Kurt refused to listen. He had completely blocked out everything in his life to focus on Blaine. He loved Blaine and he would do anything in his power to win his trust back. Even if it killed him.

It had been six weeks since the fight. They hadn't brought it up once, they just pretended like everything was normal. Well, as normal as it could be in this moment.

Kurt knew that he couldn't do much more than he had. And if Blaine didn't know how much he loved him by now, there was nothing more he could do.

But he had planned one last thing he was gonna do later tonight, it was something he had wanted to do for a very long time now. But had been forced to push to the side because of this very difficult situation.

But he had gotten the news yesterday, he was officially divorced from Rachel Berry. Which meant that he was free to marry whoever the fuck he wanted. And that person was named Blaine Devon Anderson.

He had done a lot of thinking, obviously. He didn't want to jump into another marriage like that. But he knew he loved Blaine more than anything and he wanted to marry him. It might be rushed, it might be crazy, and most people might have told him to wait.

But for what?

He know he loves Blaine, he doesn't need more time. He knows Blaine is the one for him, he has always known, since the day he first had laid eyes on him.

* * *

"Hi, are you on your way to work?" Kurt asked once Blaine had entered the kitchen.

"Yeah." Blaine sighed and grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge.

Kurt nodded. "Alright. But… once you're on your way home, please send me a quick text."

Blaine narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Why?" He had to know.

"You'll see, trust me?" Kurt bit his lip.

Blaine looked at him for a minute. "Okay." He eventually said.

Kurt almost passed out on the spot. _Progress_.

"Alright, see you later." Kurt smiled and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

Blaine smiled and kissed back. "Bye." He said and then left.

As soon as the door closer Kurt dialed Mercedes. He needed help with the decorating if he was gonna get everything ready on time.

* * *

Half an hour and two sallads later Mercedes was finally at his door. She was bubbly and excited and all the things Kurt should feel at the moment but just couldn't. He was too nervous.

"Okay, you wanted to do it outside, right?"

"Yeah, there is this… this place. It's like a meadow, Blaine and I used to go there. We even named it." Kurt blushed at the thoughts of everything they'd done and all the secrets they'd shared at the time.

"What did you name it?" She asked curiously.

"Pure Imagination."

"Okay…" She frowned. "Like… from the movie?"

"No." Kurt rolled his eyes. "It was like our imagination, everything that happened there was staying there. Out here in the real world it was like it didn't exist, like our relationship at the time."

"Oooh, I get it." She giggled. "That sounds very romantic, actually."

"It was." Kurt sighed.

"Hey, he's gonna say yes, Kurt." She put a hand on his shoulder.

"How do you know for sure? Maybe this is a bad idea…"

"Oh hell to the no!" She said and waved her finger in the air. "You are not backing out of this Kurt Hummel. You love the guy and like you said, you've wanted to do this forever. So why wait when you finally have the opportunity?"

Kurt sighed again, louder this time and ran his hands through his hair. "You're right. I just… I'm so afraid that he's gonna say no."

"He won't." Mercedes seemed so sure. "I promise you."

Kurt smiled a little. "Alright, let's go to Pure Imagination."

* * *

Once they got to Pure Imagination the first thing that happened was that Mercedes was completely amazed by how beautiful it was. She was running around in circles and rolled around in the flowers. Then she took his hand and made him run with her. Which made Kurt very dizzy since Mercedes loved strong colors and so did the flowers so it was a very abstract image to see.

Eventually she got tired and they could finally begin with the decorations. First they carried out a table with two chairs to put in the middle of the meadow, surrounded by all the flowers. They managed to carry two huge speakers and hid them behind the trees so you couldn't see them but soft music could still be heard. They put up lights between the trees which was gonna lit up the place beautifully along with the stars at night. Last but not least Kurt set the table (it didn't matter that it was like four hours left until Blaine would be home, as far as they knew no one knew about this meadow but Blaine).

"Okay, I think we're finished." Kurt said and wiped the sweat off his forehead. It really looked pretty, and he was sure Blaine would love it.

"Oh, honey. He's gonna love it." Mercedes voiced his thoughts.

"I really, really hope so." He smiled at her.

"Alright, let's go." She took his hand and they started walking away. While walking Kurt threw rose petals all the way back to the car, which blended in beautifully with everything else.

What they didn't see though, was a very suspicious and jealous Nolan sneak behind a tree to follow the trail of rose petals which lead all the way to the meadow…

* * *

Kurt was literally shaking as he was seated on the couch in the small apartment. He had just finished cooking and packing their meal and was ready to go. He was checking his watch every 5th second and wondered why Blaine wasn't home yet.

_Fine, it was like 10 minutes left until he was supposed to be home but Kurt was impatient and nervous._

Just then he finally heard a key in the lock and the door open. Blaine was home. Blaine was fucking home and Kurt felt his heart stop beating. He needed to get his shit together. So he inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm his heart beat.

Blaine walked into the livingroom, looking exhausted. Kurt immediately stood up from the couch and walked towards him.

"Hi, are you okay? How was work?" He asked and leaned in for a kiss.

"Fine. Tiering." Blaine yawned before he leaned in to the kiss as well. "How was your day?"

"It has been… stressful. I have a surprise for you."

"Crap! I was supposed to text you, I'm so sorry. Did I ruin everything?" Blaine slapped his own forehead.

"No, you didn't ruin anything. Just come with me." Kurt smiled and bit his lip.

Blaine smiled back. "Okay." He kissed him once more and then let Kurt drag him out to the car.

* * *

The ride to the meadow was fun. Blaine kept asking questions about it but Kurt just shaked his head and tried to hide his smile. Blaine groaned and moaned and was very impatient.

Eventually he started recognizing the road and realized where they were heading.

He turned his head towards Kurt with a smile. "Are you taking me to Pure Imagination?" He asked softly.

Kurt bit his lip. They really hadn't been there together in a very long time. So he nodded carefully. Blaine didn't say anything else, so the rest of the ride was pretty quiet. Kurt almost got worried that Blaine didn't like the idea, but the remaining smile on his lips reassured Kurt.

Once they finally reached the forest he parked his car and Blaine got out. Kurt blindfolded him and giggled while he did. He then picked up the basket of food he had prepared and linked their arms together, to lead him towards the meadow.

"_Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination…"_

Kurt started singing softly into Blaine's ear, just like he had done the first time he had brought Kurt here. Blaine blushed and giggled a little.

"_What we'll see will define explanatioooon."_

Kurt finished when they were one step or two away from entering the meadow. He then removed Blaine's blindfold.

"Okay, so… I've prepared a little something. It has taken all day but I really hope you like it. So here we go." Kurt smiled and took his hand. Then they finally took the last few steps and entered the place.

Blaine's breath hitched, so did Kurt's. But it was for all the wrong reasons.

The romantic, beautiful set he and Mercedes had built up was completely destroyed. The table had been flipped upside down, silverware was on the grass and glasses were crushed into pieces. The lights between the trees had been ripped down and some of them had been shattered too. The speakers had been dragged back from the trees and one of them was in pieces, as if someone had slammed it against something roughly. Everything was destroyed and completely ruined. All of the hard work had been for nothing.

Kurt was in shock, his heart had for sure stopped beating and his mouth just wouldn't close. He felt his bottom lip start to thremble and tears build up in his eyes. A thick lump in his throat was on its way up and he just couldn't hold it in so he just broke down in tears. He covered his face in his hands and shaked his head.

Just then he felt two strong but gentle and still so soft, arms wrap around him. He felt Blaine's head rest on his shoulder and he just inhaled his smell for comfort. Blaine's hands were running up and down his back in a soothing motion. Kurt was shaking but relaxed even the tiniest bit in Blaine's arms.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed. "I- I had prepared this b- beautiful dinner for us and…" He had to pause so the crying wouldn't completely shut him up. "But someone ruined it!"

"It's okay, it's okay." Blaine whispered in his ear. "I understand, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not okay!" Kurt yelled and pulled away. "This was supposed to be perfect! I had planned everything because I love you! Because I want you forever and ever. Because I wanted to freaking propose to you! But now it's all ruined, now it doesn't matter anymore!"

Blaine's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot right up to his hairline. "You wanted to… propose?" He echoed.

Kurt wiped his tears. "Yes." He sniffled. "I- I love you. I don't want to live without you, Blaine. I understand that I hurt you so badly, and for that I am sorry. I have fought so hard to earn your forgiveness and this was supposed to be the final move." He explained.

Blaine just smiled. His eyes reflected that thing Kurt had been looking for for a really long time: love and trust. Blaine seemed to have melted completely, because now his hand was cupping Kurt's cheek and his lips was kissing him. So soft, so tender, so beautifully.

"Yes." He whispered between the kisses. "Ask me."

Kurt literally fell down to one knee because his legs wouldn't hold him anymore. He digged in the pocket on his jacket and pulled out a small, velvet box. He opened it and revealed a beautiful ring, completely made out of silver. Inside it there was a text that said _I will love you_ (and then on his own it said _Until my dying day_).

"Blaine Devon Anderson. I love you. I know our journey hasn't been simple, I know it's soon and I know most people would think I'm crazy. Maybe I am, but it doesn't matter. Because I know in my heart that this is right, at least for me. And I hope that you feel the same way, or else I might die." He made a pause and swallowed nervously. "I promise you, that if you say yes, I'll never lie to you again. I'll stay faithful, I'll love you forever and I'll make sure that you never forget or doubt my love for you or how much you mean to me. So if you want to spend the rest of your days with me, and if you… if you please forgive me, I promise it will be worth it. So, will you marry me? Will you be mine for the rest of time?"

At this point Blaine's eyes was wet and big, fat tears were rolling down his cheeks. But he looked so insanely happy somehow and he was nodding furiously.

"Yes, yes. Oh god yes." He breathed.

Kurt felt something that he hadn't felt since the day he told the truth about Rachel: relief. He felt like his heart was a hundred pounds lighter, like he could fucking fly. He hurried to put the ring on Blaine's finger so he could stand up and kiss him. Kiss him like he mean it, which he does. Kiss him like he needs and desires to, and to finally feel the same passion and love in Blaine's kisses.

"I forgive you, Kurt." Blaine said between the kisses. "I love you, I want you forever."

"Forever." Kurt agreed.

They never stopped kissing, or at least not for a couple of hours. They ended up lying down in the grass, where they made love for the first time in what felt like forever. And just then, in that moment, everything was right in the world. They were no longer just skin to skin, heart to heart. Now they were soul to soul.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18: Forever more

**A/N: Oh so this is the last chapter! I just want to thank everyone sososososo much for reading and reviewing! It means the world to me :) I have loved writing this story. I hope you like the end of it, please tell me what you thought of it. Thank you all once again!**

* * *

Chapter 18: Forever more.

Do you ever just find yourself smiling? It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, you just smile because you're happy. And at times you don't even know why you're so damn happy.

Today was that kind of day for Kurt Hummel. He and Blaine had just told all their loved ones their news: they are engaged. The reaction had been fantastic. All hugs, kisses, cheers, congrats and happy tears. They were all so happy for them, that they had finally found true love. It was the best feeling in the world, standing next to your soon-to-be husband and seeing your matching rings.

Just a few weeks later the wedding happened. They just couldn't wait any longer. The wedding held place outside since that's where Kurt had proposed, it was very beautiful and romantic. The theme had been - as cheesy as it sounds - "love". It was red roses everywhere along with other flowers from the flower shop, it was delicious food and a giant cake, half chocolate and half vanilla, since Blaine didn't like chocolate at all and Kurt simply loved it.

It was the best day of their lives. Finally being able to say yes and meet in a soft, passionated kiss while hearing everybody cry around them. Cry out of happiness, of course. And then get to dance together, so close, feeling their hearts so close to eachother. It was so intimate, some people had to look away.

But it was beautiful. And once they made it home after midnight they made love. Over and over, now as husbands.

Kurt never read the newspapers or what they said about him and his "complicated life", which really wasn't complicated at all to him, now that he had found true love. He just put the papers in a box which he carried down to the basement of the house they bought in New York. Yeah, that's right. They moved to NYC after being married for two years. It had always been their dream, but they had never really actually thought of making it real. But now when they had the money, why not? Kurt had been working his ass off at his new job at to be able to make this happen.

The day after their 5th year anniversary Blaine found Kurt sitting on their couch looking sad. He had asked Kurt what was wrong and Kurt had explained that even if he was so happy with Blaine something was missing. Blaine's heart stopped beating and feared the worst at once. Kurt just laughed and calmed him down, then he put his hand over Blaine's heart and told him he wanted to have a family with him. Blaine smiled back and told him he loved the idea. Just a year later they adopted a little boy, they named him Joseph. He was the cutest little thing they had ever seen with his large blue eyes and dark hair. He looked like a mix of them even though they weren't related.

And may I add that Burt was melting into a puddle of happiness when he met his first grandchild.

Years later it was time for Joseph to begin elementary school and Kurt was nervous as hell. Since he had been bullied so badly he did not want the same thing for Joseph, especially not because of him and Blaine. But first day went great and he came home with a large smile across his face, announcing that he had already made a new friend.

Unfortunately a week later when Joseph came home, tears was rushing down his face. Someone had been incredibly mean to him - because he had two dads, the one thing both Kurt and Blaine had feared the most. Kurt was close to tears as Blaine hugged Joseph tightly and told him over and over that he is not a freak, and that the kids just don't understand that a family doesn't have to be a mom, dad and child. It can be mom, mom and child, or dad, dad and child. Joseph nodded. But it didn't get any better, it got worse as people kept calling him a "future-faggot".

Kurt couldn't stand it anymore so he grabbed Blaine's hand and made his way to Joseph's school. Once they got there he asked the teacher if he could speak in class for just a few minutes, the teacher nodded with a confused face expression. They walked into Joseph's classroom and all students looked at them curiously, Joseph seemed terrified of what might happen.

But Kurt just took a deep breath and began explaining that he and Blaine are Joseph's parents and that family doesn't have to be bounded by blod. It was a rather long speech and the entire time Blaine gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and looked at him with his soft, loving eyes. When he was done he half expected the teacher to yell at him for openly speaking of homosexuality to a couple of 5th graders. But she actually stood up from her chair and clapped, and so did the other students, including Joseph and his bullies.

Kurt walked home feeling better than he had in a while and Blaine just looked at him with amazed eyes, and told him how proud he was of him for doing that.

* * *

Twenty years later, Joseph had moved out. He was a young adult and had a beautiful girlfriend, a job and a car. Kurt and Blaine let him go with no such thing as worry. They knew he would be just fine.

At first it felt weird to live alone again, though they were never really alone. Because they had eachother. They somehow never got tired of eachother either. Sure, they had fights, of course they did. But it always solved itself in the end. They went on plenty of trips together, all over the world. It was an amazing experience and filled up three photo albums along the way.

Once thing Kurt never thought he'd do though, was skydiving. But Blaine talked him into it and once he jumped off that damn plane he thought he would get a heartattack, stroke and what not. But actually, it was so fun. The adrenaline was pumping in his vains and he felt free, happy and god so good.

One day he went down the basement, looking for an old movie he and Blaine wanted to see. He came across a rather large box, he frowned, not able to remember what he (or Blaine) had put in it.

He opened it and smiled when he saw all the old newspapers. He sat down on the dusty floor (for once not caring if his pants got dirty) and looked through them.

Some of the headlines was:

_HUMMEL MARRIAGE ON THE WAY_

_Kurt and Rachel, happier than ever!_

_Kurt and Rachel, split up_

_Kurt Hummel - the homosexual_

_SPLIT UP - Ms. and Mr. Hummel._

_Affair with the florist?_

_Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson._

_GAY MARRIAGE_

Kurt rolled his eyes at all the headlines, it brought back so many memories, both good and bad. It was ridiculous how much publicity you can get from a background like his. But none of it mattered anymore, how could it? He was the happiest man alive. He was married to the most amazing man he had ever met and he had a beautiful son, a beautiful house and everything was perfect.

He smiled as he looked down at his wedding ring and sang quietly:

"_Come what may…"_

"_I will love you until my dying day."_

He turned his head at the sound of Blaine's voice. He was standing behind him with a smile cross his handsome face.

"Looking through the magazines?" He asked and sat down next to Kurt.

"Yeah, I had forgot I saved these."

"I don't want to ruin your moment, but I cooked a very delicious dinner for you. So if you don't mind maybe you could join me?"

Kurt smiled and gave him a soft kiss. "I'd love to, masterchef."

Blaine rolled his eyes and giggled as he took Kurt's hand, their skin tingling by the touch, just like the first time they held hands. They made their way up the stairs and sat down and ate together. It was perfect, everything was right in the world, no matter what had happened in their past. Because the past is the past, it's not important. And the future is the future, nobody knows what might happen, so don't waste time thinking of that. Now is now, and that's all that matters. And speaking of now, now was pretty damn perfect.

The end.


End file.
